[Would it be worse for the Pleroma's cause? Maybe... Ryunosuke isn't going to try and pretend that his way of viewing things is at all suitable for a situation of war, much as he might wish otherwise. It's probably for the best that Makoto bulldozes past that point; it spares Ryunosuke from having to fight off the temptation to point out that BOTH sides might be better off, if they avoided resorting to violence.
He glances over at M again, and for a flash, his gaze far more sharp and steadfast than it has been this whole conversation so far. It's hard for him to sort through his feelings about this-- with the pressures of blending in, and the threat of a Kenoma being right there; it's hard to listen to his gut when his gut is trying to lead him through three different stressful problems at once. But. As far as M and Estinien are concerned, he's starting to realize that he's reaching a conclusion.
He's remembering back to that day now... The harrowing bleed of emotion that came off of the two men in those final moments. Estinien had been utterly helpless, defenseless, completely immobile. And M...
Ryunosuke suppresses a shiver.]
...It's not easier. Hating someone, I mean. At least, I don't find it to be, personally...
[There's nothing that sounds sanctimonious in his assertion; he just sounds tired. There were plenty of people back in his own world that he could justifiably loathe for their wrongdoings, and for their slights against him and his friends. On the Burya, he'd gone into that investigation fully prepared to hate whoever had taken Kazuma from him with all his heart. The worst possible result of that search would have been failure, of course; the real killer getting away, leaving the blame resting solely on Ryunosuke's shoulders... But in some ways, what actually happened was the next worst thing. The truth of the incident had denied him the villain he was hoping for.
Instead of murder: manslaughter. Instead of an assassin, a frightened teenage girl. Kazuma's death was a stupid, pointless accident. Ryunosuke hasn't forgiven her; he doesn't think he'll ever be able to. But he also couldn't bring himself to hate her. Not then, not now. And somehow that hurts even worse... Hate would be easier to cope with... But it just doesn't come naturally to him.
This... Debacle, between M and Estinien, is inverse from the Burya in some ways. Ryunosuke had held back his judgement, tried to be reasonable in his read on the situation in the absence of a full understanding of what M's motives were; perhaps even well beyond what most would consider reasonable for a man who's so adamantly against killing. But with Estinien's revival, the death hadn't 'stuck' so to speak, and there'd been little reason or opportunity for Ryunosuke to increase his understanding of what had happened during the months that followed. But now that he has an explanation straight from the horse's mouth...
There's no mystery to M's motives anymore. Estinien had left M for dead, and Ryunosuke can't say he approves of that, but the cruelty M had displayed in his retaliation goes far beyond being a rational response. He claims he doesn't act without reason, and fair enough, but what if Ryunosuke finds his reasoning wanting?
He lets out a shaky breath, trying to recenter his thoughts.]
...You said you didn't approach with the intent of harming me, well... Why have you approached me, then? Surely it isn't just because you wanted me to hear out your side of that incident...
GAA1 case 2 spoilers (Srry 4 wait I had to rly think this one thru haha)
He glances over at M again, and for a flash, his gaze far more sharp and steadfast than it has been this whole conversation so far. It's hard for him to sort through his feelings about this-- with the pressures of blending in, and the threat of a Kenoma being right there; it's hard to listen to his gut when his gut is trying to lead him through three different stressful problems at once. But. As far as M and Estinien are concerned, he's starting to realize that he's reaching a conclusion.
He's remembering back to that day now... The harrowing bleed of emotion that came off of the two men in those final moments. Estinien had been utterly helpless, defenseless, completely immobile. And M...
Ryunosuke suppresses a shiver.]
...It's not easier. Hating someone, I mean. At least, I don't find it to be, personally...
[There's nothing that sounds sanctimonious in his assertion; he just sounds tired. There were plenty of people back in his own world that he could justifiably loathe for their wrongdoings, and for their slights against him and his friends. On the Burya, he'd gone into that investigation fully prepared to hate whoever had taken Kazuma from him with all his heart. The worst possible result of that search would have been failure, of course; the real killer getting away, leaving the blame resting solely on Ryunosuke's shoulders... But in some ways, what actually happened was the next worst thing. The truth of the incident had denied him the villain he was hoping for.
Instead of murder: manslaughter. Instead of an assassin, a frightened teenage girl. Kazuma's death was a stupid, pointless accident. Ryunosuke hasn't forgiven her; he doesn't think he'll ever be able to. But he also couldn't bring himself to hate her. Not then, not now. And somehow that hurts even worse... Hate would be easier to cope with... But it just doesn't come naturally to him.
This... Debacle, between M and Estinien, is inverse from the Burya in some ways. Ryunosuke had held back his judgement, tried to be reasonable in his read on the situation in the absence of a full understanding of what M's motives were; perhaps even well beyond what most would consider reasonable for a man who's so adamantly against killing. But with Estinien's revival, the death hadn't 'stuck' so to speak, and there'd been little reason or opportunity for Ryunosuke to increase his understanding of what had happened during the months that followed. But now that he has an explanation straight from the horse's mouth...
There's no mystery to M's motives anymore. Estinien had left M for dead, and Ryunosuke can't say he approves of that, but the cruelty M had displayed in his retaliation goes far beyond being a rational response. He claims he doesn't act without reason, and fair enough, but what if Ryunosuke finds his reasoning wanting?
He lets out a shaky breath, trying to recenter his thoughts.]
...You said you didn't approach with the intent of harming me, well... Why have you approached me, then? Surely it isn't just because you wanted me to hear out your side of that incident...