[That question, Hayame knows... Is not supposed to be that difficult.
Perhaps that's why she had never felt at home among the Pleroma, even as she aligned herself against the Regent. They all believed in some sort of... some sort of goodness, that she could not see. Some sort of holy mission or beautiful future that awaited them if they could get back to their worlds...
And what did she have? It is tempting to dismiss it and say "nothing". Once, she had believed in herself and little else. She and her own hard-won efforts were the only thing she could control to affect her fate, to be sold as a warlord's horse... but she had failed in so many ways. She had almost brought herself to believe in Matsukaze, and the future he offered her... but she hadn't been able to, and when that failure to do so had led to so much wrongness... she couldn't dishonor him by claiming that she believed in him now...
So what did that leave her? What could she say she believed in... ?]
... I had a brother.
[She uses the past tense not because she's ready to admit that her world is gone, but because even if she can return... She will never see her brother again. She'd sent him to the rear of the formation in the hopes he would then avoid the blast that would kill her and the man she could have maybe loved, but...
That isn't enough to make up for the years when she should have let him call her "sister".]
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Perhaps that's why she had never felt at home among the Pleroma, even as she aligned herself against the Regent. They all believed in some sort of... some sort of goodness, that she could not see. Some sort of holy mission or beautiful future that awaited them if they could get back to their worlds...
And what did she have? It is tempting to dismiss it and say "nothing". Once, she had believed in herself and little else. She and her own hard-won efforts were the only thing she could control to affect her fate, to be sold as a warlord's horse... but she had failed in so many ways. She had almost brought herself to believe in Matsukaze, and the future he offered her... but she hadn't been able to, and when that failure to do so had led to so much wrongness... she couldn't dishonor him by claiming that she believed in him now...
So what did that leave her? What could she say she believed in... ?]
... I had a brother.
[She uses the past tense not because she's ready to admit that her world is gone, but because even if she can return... She will never see her brother again. She'd sent him to the rear of the formation in the hopes he would then avoid the blast that would kill her and the man she could have maybe loved, but...
That isn't enough to make up for the years when she should have let him call her "sister".]
Yubari was his name. He was a good man.
[Better than her.]