while rand has a lot of cultural hangups around his channeling — aes sedai and the like aren't very popular, especially in the two rivers, and every child knows to revile a man who can channel for the inevitable insanity, and that doesn't even get into the dragon reborn being the most hated man in history — some of his secretiveness really was oriented around the more practical. why claim to power he barely knows how to use? he can't even reach saidin reliably; it's been improving, but for every time he manages to channel there'll be one or two times he reaches for the Power and nothing happens.
which...makes it a little hard to accept his friend's praise. the Power was helpful in helping vaeka escape, thank the light, but he was forced to confront his own failings before that. the fact that the kenoma could capture and hold him, however briefly, had been humiliating. and the brevity of the experience had nothing to do with his own strength. the experience left him feeling raw, and that was even before finding out the much worse losses they suffered since then.
(and would that have happened if ernesto and akua hadn't come for him?)
so his return smile is fainter, offset by how he looks down at his hands first, pensive. ]
It was useful, [ he allows. ] Thank the Light that our plan worked. She deserves better than what they would've done to her.
no subject
while rand has a lot of cultural hangups around his channeling — aes sedai and the like aren't very popular, especially in the two rivers, and every child knows to revile a man who can channel for the inevitable insanity, and that doesn't even get into the dragon reborn being the most hated man in history — some of his secretiveness really was oriented around the more practical. why claim to power he barely knows how to use? he can't even reach saidin reliably; it's been improving, but for every time he manages to channel there'll be one or two times he reaches for the Power and nothing happens.
which...makes it a little hard to accept his friend's praise. the Power was helpful in helping vaeka escape, thank the light, but he was forced to confront his own failings before that. the fact that the kenoma could capture and hold him, however briefly, had been humiliating. and the brevity of the experience had nothing to do with his own strength. the experience left him feeling raw, and that was even before finding out the much worse losses they suffered since then.
(and would that have happened if ernesto and akua hadn't come for him?)
so his return smile is fainter, offset by how he looks down at his hands first, pensive. ]
It was useful, [ he allows. ] Thank the Light that our plan worked. She deserves better than what they would've done to her.