[ No, life isn’t much like the stories at all. People are hardly ever so clearly split down the line of good and evil, and while you might have a seemingly just reason to push you forward as you fight your battles, it doesn’t mean that the other side doesn’t have their own motivations that might seem just as righteous to them, enough so that they’ll even be willing to commit some truly horrendous acts in order to achieve their goals. War wasn’t exciting, it was brutal, and rarely did it result in saving someone beautiful or handsome that would swoon right into your arms either.
It was dirty, and hard, and miserable, and it changed you irrevocably in some pretty awful ways.
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes right now as he turns slowly to stare ahead of him, no longer wanting to make eye contact. This is the thing he hates doing the most; talking about himself always makes his insides squirm like a nightmarish pit of snakes, every part of him dying to break out and flee from the situation. Ernesto does a pretty admirable job of keeping still though, no matter how much hissing and buzzing is going on inside his head right now.
He doesn’t really owe Rand an explanation, no, but Rand is asking for one still. Rand has just gone through a horrendous set of ordeals himself, and he’s struggling with the morality of his own actions. The problem with seeking answers from Ernesto is that what Ernesto can provide from personal experience may not help as much as he wants it to, but sugar coating the truth would probably help less…
Some people in this world already know anyway…. what’s one more? If Rand wants to think of him differently after that, then… It’s fair, isn’t it? It’s not like Ernesto isn’t aware of the fact that he deserves to be judged for the actions he took.
Ernesto takes a deep breath before he starts speaking. ]
Not initially. I was too young to really have much say in what happened to me.
[ Now he looks back at Rand, in some ways his smile is more genuine now, but in more profound ways there’s a sadness to it as he lets real emotion slowly slip back into his expression. ]
But by the time I was doing some of the worst of it? Yeah… I was making the choice for myself.
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It was dirty, and hard, and miserable, and it changed you irrevocably in some pretty awful ways.
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes right now as he turns slowly to stare ahead of him, no longer wanting to make eye contact. This is the thing he hates doing the most; talking about himself always makes his insides squirm like a nightmarish pit of snakes, every part of him dying to break out and flee from the situation. Ernesto does a pretty admirable job of keeping still though, no matter how much hissing and buzzing is going on inside his head right now.
He doesn’t really owe Rand an explanation, no, but Rand is asking for one still. Rand has just gone through a horrendous set of ordeals himself, and he’s struggling with the morality of his own actions. The problem with seeking answers from Ernesto is that what Ernesto can provide from personal experience may not help as much as he wants it to, but sugar coating the truth would probably help less…
Some people in this world already know anyway…. what’s one more? If Rand wants to think of him differently after that, then… It’s fair, isn’t it? It’s not like Ernesto isn’t aware of the fact that he deserves to be judged for the actions he took.
Ernesto takes a deep breath before he starts speaking. ]
Not initially. I was too young to really have much say in what happened to me.
[ Now he looks back at Rand, in some ways his smile is more genuine now, but in more profound ways there’s a sadness to it as he lets real emotion slowly slip back into his expression. ]
But by the time I was doing some of the worst of it? Yeah… I was making the choice for myself.