[ Matt's lips twitch at the question. His emotions, though faint, shine clear on his face: amusement, shame, regret. He shakes his head. ]

Not for fun, no.

[ He rolls his left wrist, realizing with a pang that he still wants to flex his fingers. He wonders if he'll ever stop expecting them to be there.

Sometimes, it really feels like they still are. ]

I don't know if anyone's told you what helps. Drinking's pretty good if you're into that--way better than I thought, actually, I thought I was shit out of luck living in a place with no opioids. Massage isn't bad, though kind of impractical a lot of the time. Mine always hits in the middle of the night.