[ He doesn't answer right away, the gears of his brain slowly turning as they usually do before he tries to answer something as deeply philosophical as this. He's always preferred actions over words, simplicity and the material over the intangible unknown.
Or at least a subject. His own feelings and beliefs he sets aside for later. ]
You don't have to change all at once. [ In fact: ] You can't change at all once.
[ Especially not after years and years of the same habits and actions, drilled so deep they bake into muscle memory. Most people just aren't like that, no matter how much they wish they were otherwise. ]
But you can take one step at a time. Make one decision at a time.
[ The words feel alien coming out of his mouth, poorly worded advice that he honestly has no right to give. Not for the first time he wishes Abel were here, with his easy voice and genuine optimism and shockingly sharp intuition for a man usually portrayed as a bumbling fool. His own intuition is dulled to a nub by now, at least as far as the emotional goes, and he feels like he's wading across an endless tundra without even the stars to guide him. ]
It doesn't have to be anything large or important. It doesn't even necessarily have to be the right thing to do. [ Because gods only know the longer he stays here, the less sure he is of what the right thing even is. ] As long as it's something you want to do, not something you feel like you have to do, that's what matters.
[ Whatever else he intends to say - the actual answer to Gen's question and not this meandering aside he's led them on - is pushed off even further with the return of their waiter, inquiring politely about their meal choices. ]
no subject
Or at least a subject. His own feelings and beliefs he sets aside for later. ]
You don't have to change all at once. [ In fact: ] You can't change at all once.
[ Especially not after years and years of the same habits and actions, drilled so deep they bake into muscle memory. Most people just aren't like that, no matter how much they wish they were otherwise. ]
But you can take one step at a time. Make one decision at a time.
[ The words feel alien coming out of his mouth, poorly worded advice that he honestly has no right to give. Not for the first time he wishes Abel were here, with his easy voice and genuine optimism and shockingly sharp intuition for a man usually portrayed as a bumbling fool. His own intuition is dulled to a nub by now, at least as far as the emotional goes, and he feels like he's wading across an endless tundra without even the stars to guide him. ]
It doesn't have to be anything large or important. It doesn't even necessarily have to be the right thing to do. [ Because gods only know the longer he stays here, the less sure he is of what the right thing even is. ] As long as it's something you want to do, not something you feel like you have to do, that's what matters.
[ Whatever else he intends to say - the actual answer to Gen's question and not this meandering aside he's led them on - is pushed off even further with the return of their waiter, inquiring politely about their meal choices. ]