aionlogs | ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ▸ it's a cycle i'm in.

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ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ▸ it's a cycle i'm in.

WHO: Kaeya & others.
WHAT: Event aftermath.
WHERE: Achamoth & around the Citadel.
WHEN: Until the end of the first week of Firaseri.
WARNINGS: Sexually suggestive content. Thanks, Childe.

( ooc. just a closed log with the starters i owe for peeps! ~~if you'd like a custom scenario with kaeya, feel free to send me a pm or ping me on discord so we can work something out.~~ )

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[ achamoth is alight with a frenetic sort of buzz.

a few days after the kenoma's return from their mission, whether triumphant or bittersweet, the news that emet-selch and ciel are responsible for the capture of two pleroma have swept across the streets. soon enough, it was hard to be anywhere without hearing others regale anyone willing to listen with tales of their success. kaeya is sure that most, if not all accounts, have varying degrees of overexaggeration.

he can't tell if he wants to pity emet-selch or not, because he can't imagine the man taking in this type of attention very well. while emet-selch had always come across as someone who doesn't mind the occasional flair, the drama, this isn't the sort of attention that can count as... any good. at least, not unless one enjoys that sort of thing, but he doubts emet-selch is that type of person.

then again, he can always be wrong. it wouldn't be the first time.

these are the things he finds himself thinking about while he looks over the humble collection of veneran wine that he'd managed to acquire during his stay there. it feels like a month isn't going to be enough, and now he's sure he won't ever be able to go back without hiding who he is, but he thinks he deserves a few drinks. it would be such a waste otherwise.

and well, should he find himself in someone else's company, at least there's plenty of wine to share. ]

[ Emet-Selch practically plops in a chair nearby Kaeya. The careless posture draped over the tabletop, long sigh, and look on his face would reek of being tired and quite done with the attention he has received over the past several days. It's disgusting how those within the city can go from reviling him because of the Regent's mark to singing his praises within such a short period of time.

It has certainly made going outside of the Citadel very bothersome, and so he has resigned himself to this place to stay out of the way of others.

A few mere moments after he sits, A servant swiftly comes to his beck and call to heap attention onto him - notably leaving Kaeya unattended in the process. Emet-Selch waves his arm in frustration at the servant. ]

I don't require any of your fussing. Leave me be.

[ Then, he reaches for a wine glass that sits topside-down on the countertop. Ugh, is there any wine close by? ]

[ one way or another, kaeya finds himself underwater.

the ocean is blessed with moderate temperatures and calm tides during this time of the day, so there's hardly any fear of drowning or being swept away. it would be troublesome if one or the other were to happen because that isn't why he came here today. achamoth has become so suffocating in the past few days, especially after they put himeka and abel up for public display, that he could no longer handle being there and just needed to get out. go. somewhere far away from all the debauchery, the betrayals, the absence of hope...

when he resurfaces, he takes a full breath of fresh air, but now it all tastes like salt, and he has nothing but himself to blame. it doesn't take long for him to swim back to the shore where his coat, eyepatch, and boots are together in a neat pile. he is dressed down to a white shirt and black pants, which made it easier for the swim. his hair is tied into a loose braid, but he must have lost his hair tie somehow since it's unraveled at the ends.

he sighs quietly at the discovery before ignoring it. it's not like he plans on returning to achamoth anytime soon so he can just stay here until everything is dry. plus, he'd really like to collect some seashells if he can find any. that'll keep him distracted for who knows how long. of course, considering how things have been going, it shouldn't come as a surprise that someone else had the same idea as he did. whoever it is that is approaching is met with a mildly bewildered look.

and while his hair covers up most of the right side of his face, the scars near his eye are not as easy to hide. ]

... Eustace? You're far away from home.

[ pot, kettle, black. ]

[ Eventually, not even his little sanctuary out in the dog park is enough to distract him from his thoughts. He has to get away, from the jeers of the guards and the locals as they laugh at the prisoners chained up like feral animals, and from his own heavy thoughts, which fill the darkest corners of his room day and night.

Maybe further than just Achamoth, but he doesn't think about that just yet.

It's an errant thought that prompts him to head towards the beach outside the city, a desperate claw for something - anything - to distract him from his misery unearthing the memory of the beach outing Ciel and the other Kenoma had gone on while he'd been in Godsblood. He hadn't been able to go then (for the best, the thought of being stuck in a crowd of both adults and children enough to dampen any enthusiasm he might have had) but now that he's alone and the city is occupied with other things, maybe it wouldn't be a bad time.

Turns out, he's not the only one with that idea.

He arrives just in time to see a figure bob underwater. Probably going for a swim, nothing out of the ordinary. Except the seconds tick by, one after another, merging into a minute and more, and his indifference quickly transforms into apprehension the longer the figure stays underwater, and he quickly heads towards the edge of the water, fully prepared to dive in for an emergency rescue.

His actions end up being unnecessary; something breaks through the surface of the water only a few seconds later. Kaeya, dressed down to just a shirt and pants, strands of hair curling around his face and neck. He doesn't even have the energy to appreciate the way Kaeya's wet shirt clings to his body (fucking useless to me), the unease roiling in his stomach enough to override any other emotion. ]

Were you trying to drown yourself?

[ Maybe they're not exactly friends, but Kaeya is hardly someone he wants to see dead either. The memory of Kaeya's body, slick with blood and flesh gouged open, still sits fresh in his mind. It's an inevitability of war, death and suffering, but surely they deserve even a few days of reprieve. ]

[ it's only been a few days after the kenoma's return from venera and godsblood, but kaeya's mood has remained as a steady flatline. the past few nights have been sleepless, and every part of him feels like it's constantly on edge. it's difficult to make sense of his own thoughts right here and now because there are so many of them, zipping across his mind a thousand miles a minute. not even the quiet stillness of tonight is enough to bring him any solace.

currently, he is lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. he has a feeling this is going to be one of those nights, but it's fine. it might as well be routine at this point. it's not like he'd be losing out on anything if tonight turns out to be a wash, so he might as well try to do... something productive. he brings himself to an upright position and considers his option: does he go out for a walk? does he try to read a book?

maybe eat something? the thought immediately makes him grimace. his dinner remains untouched on the small dresser nearby.

and then another idea comes to mind, making him stand up so that he could head over to his desk. there are stacks of paper settled by pens and ink, some of which are crumpled and scribbled over, but there is a fair handful that remains blank. writing letters is something he hasn't done in a while because — and this makes him even sadder than anything else — there won't be anyone to receive them, but it might be a good way to get everything out. cathartic, even.

he takes a seat and grabs one of the pens, fingers smoothing down the first paper on top of the pile. it takes him a while to figure out what he wants to say, but once a beautiful cursive writes out To D:, everything else falls right into place.

he isn't expecting any company tonight, so he'll just focus on this for a while. ]

[ emet-selch arrives like the beginnings of a storm. it's difficult kaeya to not notice him immediately when he settles beside him, but he remains quiet during the entire time the man deals with an adoring servant. he takes no offense to being unattended, because he'd rather be left to his own devices than... whatever it is that emet-selch is dealing with.

it's not long before the servant finally gets the hint and leaves the man alone, allowing for kaeya to finally announce his presence. ]

Not a fan of all the attention?

[ he'd already assumed that was the case but it's almost amusing to see someone like emet-selch look so irate. then again, maybe it's not all that strange... it feels like his mood is always bordering on judgmental, but what does he know. ]

Edited 2022-08-04 15:47 (UTC)

[ That comment alone earns the flattest look that Emet-Selch can muster. Was he not a fan of all the attention? ]

Oh, whatever gives you the idea.

[ Can he sound any more sarcastically facetious? No. ]

[ kaeya was riding the same wavelength, having missed the first time some members of the kenoma went to this particular beach for a nice day out. it happened when he was busy with his affairs over at venera so he'd always wanted to go once he got the chance, but now that chance comes with all sorts of hangups. he wonders if this is even going to be a relaxing day when what little faith he has is already wavering.

still, he supposes it doesn't hurt to give it a shot.

there's a moment where he's suddenly frozen in one place, eustace's question cutting right through him like the cold bite of a winter breeze. that thought hadn't even occurred to him when he let his body sink underwater, but he can't deny that doing so has dampened so many of his erratic thoughts. not that he bothers confirming any of that. instead, he shakes his head and smiles almost sheepishly. ]

I was looking for seashells. [ then, after a beat— ] And the water is at a nice temperature, so I thought, why not?

[ a casual remark that he follows up with a shrug. he crouches low to check his coat's pockets, trying to see if he has a spare tie or something. when he finds none, he can only sigh again. this makes him look up at eustace. ]

What are you doing out here? I didn't think you were a beach person.

[ ... Upon reflection, he doesn't really know what happened in Venera.

Amos had stayed a couple of extra days in Godsblood. For one, he needed to just lie around a day or two after a near-death experience and pushing himself in a manner that, in hindsight, was too hard; for another, he wanted to see if he could find any additional Pleroma there, just in case; for another, the Machining Guild was right there... so...

So he doesn't know much about what happened in Venera. How his friends fared in their mission there. Or... any of the Kenoma, really.

And he still needs to stay off his feet, figuratively speaking. Spend a quiet night in.

He figures Kaeya can appreciate that. So Amos had stopped by the cellar, grabbed the first bottle of wine he saw — he's more of a beer guy, he has no idea if this is a good one or what, but wine is wine right? — a couple of glasses, and headed on over to Kaeya's door.

Amos knocks. If Kaeya isn't in there, well, then he can wait outside for him to return. But if he is... if he answers... Amos'll wordlessly hold up the wine and the glasses, expectant look on his face.

His turn? ]

Underwater?

[ Please forgive the audible measure of doubt that threads through his words. He's not much of a beach person, never has been and probably never will be, but somehow from the little he's heard seashell hunting underwater is a much less common pasttime than seashell hunting above water.

But, hey, if that's how Kaeya gets his rocks off, who is he to judge.

Now that Kaeya doesn't appear to be in any immediate danger, he steps slightly back, affording the other man a measure of space. (Except....there was already plenty of space before....) ]

I'm not. But I needed the change of pace.

[ It's a little (a lot) more candid than he'd usually be, openly admitting to any personal desire instead of keeping his emotions carefully sealed away. But it's been a long week and he's beyond mentally exhausted, and somehow he can't bring himself to care if Kaeya knows that he's struggling or not.

Still, he's not fully comfortable deep diving into the turbulent storm of his emotions just yet, and so it's after only a short pause that he nods towards Kaeya's hands. ]

Did you find any?

[ Seashells, that is. ]

[ It's one of those things where he doesn't know how to feel over it, and also isn't sure he feels anything at all. Of course, Childe has bouts of anger and can hold grudges when betrayed, but considering he never viewed any of the aions as trustworthy, even things like Barnaby's and Liem's betrayals left little more than a general sense of annoyance once three moment passed. They're just part of the slew of constant reminders that none of the aions should trust each other. Thoughts are too volatile on both sides, emotions and ethnics run too high in the majority of aions brought here to be able to assume they won't be swayed due to one single instance.

Even Abel and Himeka . . . yeah, he's frustrated and disappointed they were careless and got themselves captured, and he's not a huge fan of torturing prisoners (but he's very used to it), but he still doesn't feel enough of anything to signify to himself he really cares about what ultimately happens to them. It's unfortunate really, but ... well... if they joined the Kenoma this wouldn't have happened in the first place. If they didn't mess with that entity in Venera, this wouldn't have happened , either.

Nevertheless, hearing about what happened to Kaeya is somewhat unsettling. Perhaps it's simply because they're both from the same world, Kaeya feels closer than anyone else (which doesn't say much at all) when bad things happen.

Maybe, though, Childe is really just sick of Estinien making a damn mess of everything and no Kenoma yet managing to put him in his place. Although Childe's downright refused to do anything about Estinien being a thorn to the Kenoma since the aions divided themselves, perhaps things have finally reached a point of frustration that he's felling Kenoma aions so easily. Perhaps he really has been too complacent, and unfairly blaming the Regent for not letting him run free to cause chaos. Maybe he should return Estinien's behavior in kind?

It seems only fair. It wouldn't be boring either, and it further shouldn't be something the Regent would frown upon.

Childe will knock on Kaeya's door when he ends up there finally, patiently holding the wrapped package Thoma asked him to pick up and deliver. Why is he doing this favor for Thoma, even, again?

Oh, right... Meteion and her defection.

Just yet another example of inconvenience. ]

[ despite everything that has happened, kaeya can still find the energy to laugh — and it doesn't sound all that insincere either. ]

Just a hunch. [ he says, simply. ] Are you in the mood for wine?

[ he gestures at his humble collection. ]

I have quite the selection.

[ one would think that kaeya should be taking it easy considering what he'd been through. as it is, his wounds aren't completely healed up; gone is the eyepatch he likes to wear (well, the last one has been torn away from him, but still), replaced by clean bandages that hide the worst of what happened to him. there are also bandages sneaking past his sleeves and the collar of his shirt despite his best attempts to cover them up.

he supposes that can't be helped, but at least he made sure he looks presentable. after all, matt invited him out to be together for the day, so he can't exactly afford to look like he'd been through hell and back. especially when he's sure that matt is also going to put in the effort to look good.

they decided to meet up by the main entrance of the citadel. kaeya isn't sure, exactly, of where they're headed, but it'll be nice to be away from the citadel and the rest of the kenoma for the time being. of course, he would prefer it if they can just head back to venera, but... he tries not to think about it.

once he sees that matt is already there waiting for him, he can't help but offer a smile. ]

I hope I didn't make you wait too long.

Very well.

[ He sighs a little before scooting his glass over in Kaeya's direction. Please. Indulge him. ]

Maybe they have something worth consuming this time.

[ by the time someone knocks on his door, kaeya is halfway through the letter. there are several pieces of crumpled up paper on the table, failed attempts that he hasn't bothered to throw out just yet. he glances at the door. who could that be? it's not like he regularly gets visits unless it's his retainer, and even though that has been happening more often since he arrived back from venera, he doesn't think it's going to be rift again.

oh well. he supposes there's only one way to find out.

quietly, he moves away from the desk and heads for the door. a part of him is thankful that the person on the other side hasn't tried knocking again because he doesn't know if he can deal with persistence tonight. his patience is frazzled enough as it is. surely whatever they need from him tonight can wait for tomorrow.

when he opens the door and sees amos, there's genuine surprise on his face. ]

Amos?

[ one look at kaeya should tell amos a few things about how venera went. his eyepatch isn't there, replaced by fresh bandages wrapped around that side of his face. there are more peeking out from his sleeves and the collar of his shirt, and while he looks mostly alert, there's still the unmistakable hint of exhaustion. someone definitely didn't have a good time back at venera.

he spots the wine bottle and glasses, prompting him to smile. ]

This is a pleasant surprise. Come in.

[ he steps aside to let amos in, not at all waiting so that he can lead them to a small table with two chairs. it's not too far away from his desk but he doesn't think to clean that up just yet. ]

How are you faring?

[ kaeya can only smile helplessly when eustace doesn't believe him. it's not like the alternative answer is any better so what he said will have to do for now. he is thankful when the other backs off even more though. like this, it'll be easier to seem more nonchalant when neither of them are too close enough to analyze. ]

A change of pace, huh. Don't we all.

[ ever since the regent's address, it feels like the general mood within the kenoma's ranks have shifted. they're simply working through the consequences of that change, and while some will thrive under that environment, there are others who will inevitably waver. kaeya doesn't know where he falls into just yet. all he knows is that he can no longer handle being at the citadel after his conversation with himeka and abel.

is eustace feeling the same way? maybe that's why kaeya doesn't try to hide away when his expression grows softer.

he presents his hands — both are empty. ]

Not yet. [ he glances around the empty beach. ] Would you like to help me look for some? It would be a good way to pass the time.

[ it would be a good distraction, he thinks, but he suspects eustace will say no. ]

[ staying at venera is out of the question for the time being so kaeya finds himself in his room more often than not. today happens to be one of those days, and right now, he is in the middle of getting dressed with the help of his retainer. it's time to change his bandages into fresh ones since he'd rather his injuries heal properly rather than aggravate them even more. neither of them say a word and perhaps that's for the best.

the past few days have been tensed considering news of abel and himeka's capture have spread amongst achamoth like wildfire. it's hard to say how he feels about it. the two of them have been nothing but kind to him, maybe too much so for their own good, but he doesn't think they deserve the fate they now have to deal with. then again, he also understands that this is an inevitability considering they belong to the opposing side.

maybe if they had been kenoma, then the whole mood would be different, but it's too bad that's not the reality they have now.

when someone knocks on the door, kaeya instructs his retainer to go and answer it, leaving him to loosely slip on fancy shirt by himself. he turns just in time for the door open, periwinkle eye widening in genuine surprise once he sees who it is that came to visit. it's his mistake that he hadn't bothered finishing buttoning up because now the fatui is getting an eyeful of the awful bruising around his neck.

he remains calm, however, raising an eyebrow nonchalantly. ]

So it's you.

[ he gestures at his retainer to take his leave, a command that has his retainer's feline ears perking up, but the man ultimately excuses himself to leave kaeya alone with the harbinger. once his retainer is gone, he faces the mirror to finish dressing himself up. childe will have noticed that he still has bandages covering up the wounds he got from his fight with estinien, but he tries not to act too bothered by them. ]

To what do I owe the pleasure?

[ they aren't exactly friends, but there's no point to avoid having friendly chatter. childe must have come here for a reason and he'd like to hear it. ]

[ kaeya's smile brightens up when emet-selch doesn't refuse his suggestion. he busies himself with picking the first wine from the lot, armed with a corkscrew to open it with a pop. ]

What I have is from Venera, so I would hope it's worth it. I was told this one has hints of gooseberry and melon, similar to a White Bordeaux.

[ he pours an appropriate amount in emet-selch's glass before doing the same to his own. he lifts up his glass. ]

Cheers.

[ it's not long after kaeya returns to achamoth that he seeks out makoto. this is a strange instance, considering how he felt towards the other kenoma after their first mission at venera. still, it seems his opinion may have been slightly overturned. after all, it was makoto who first jumped to the rescue after estinien had successfully snatched his shard. it was makoto who ended up paying for its safe return with his blood.

he didn't need to see the exact moment of when it happened, considering he felt it. the ambient feedback he received of makoto's determination makes it clear enough. regardless, words of gratitude are in order, and there's also the need to know what happened to the other aion precisely because no one could really tell him what went down after the entity made its — her — second reappearance.

a quick communion call later, and they both agree to meet at a nearby coffee shop. it's not too far from the citadel, a small and quiet place that should save them the trouble of being recognized by the general public. the last thing he wants is for any of the achamites to come over and bother them when he's sure the other wouldn't appreciate it either.

luckily, no one has taken note of him while he remains seated by the window. it affords him a nice view of the sidewalk, making it easier for him to see when makoto is approaching. ]

M. Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice. Feel free to order anything you'd like— it'll be on me.

[ Matt's not just waiting. He has an itinerary.

... Okay, it's more like an extremely short flowchart. He doesn't want to overwhelm Kaeya. But Matt's the kind of person who, left to his own devices, will go to the bakery and come back with a whole box of pastries out of sheer indecision, so he couldn't help preparing alternatives. His retainer isn't anywhere in sight, but their thumbprint is visible in Matt's outfit, which is a good deal more polished than anything he wore in Venera: dark vest and high-waisted trousers, black boots, a mostly-unbuttoned gray shirt with a black undershirt beneath it. Black strips of cloth to keep his stump clean and on track for healing. He needed the retainer's help not just for styling, but execution: it would've been nontrivial for him to do up this many buttons and laces on his own, even though Matt generally prides himself on the doing and undoing of clothes. You know what he misses? Velcro.

The look is topped off, of course, with the purple and gold-flecked scarf that's become near omnipresent. ]

Not at all, [ Matt answers, smiling back. ] Hey Kaeya.

[ He takes brief inventory of Kaeya's bandages, but since he doesn't seem to be in pain or having trouble getting around, Matt figures it's fine. ] I have a few potential options for today, but first thing's first: Are you hungry?

[ He can't help brightening as he asks. Maybe it's weird, given how they met--and, frankly, everything that's happened after--but hanging out with Kaeya makes Matt feel almost normal. It's not a feeling he wants to examine too closely, lest it collapse, but it's one he wants to savor. ]

[ He's never gone looking for seashells before - there'd been no ocean anywhere near his remote mountain village and by the time he'd left there'd been no time for such things. But right now it sounds—like a good distraction, something to funnel his restless energy into that'll occupy just enough of both his hands and his mind that he won't feel the urge to overthink every little thing. ]

Sure.

[ He says it lightly, with the smallest flicker of interest. It's not like he'd had any other plans when he'd come to the beach, other than sit and (once again) overthink.

Though...while it would be more efficient to split up and comb separate areas of the beach, he follows a few steps behind Kaeya as they slowly meander across the sand. (The activity is probably a distraction for Kaeya too, all things considered, and not anything all that purposeful or necessary.)

And as far as distractions go, talking is always one of the better ones when there's no alcohol involved. ]

Are they for anyone? The seashells.

[ Is Kaeya the type to string together little bracelets and necklaces and gift them to people? ]

Feel free to leave your stuff here, if you need to.

[ kaeya gestures at his own pile. he doubts there's going to be anyone who will try to take their things but anything can happen, really. not that he'll wait for eustace to decide whether or not he's going to do it once he heads down a certain direction, keeping his gaze locked at the sandy shore.

it's definitely a distraction for him too, because it seems like he's more lost in thought than actively looking for seashells. ]

I used to collect them when I was younger. [ and then, perhaps more honestly than he meant to: ] With Diluc.

[ it wasn't that long ago when the innocence made him think the erune lagging behind him was his sworn brother, so he figures eustace will understand the significance of this. he tries not to sound too melancholic when he recounts the tale, but bittersweet nostalgia manages to mix in regardless. ]

Master Crepus would take us to Falcon Coast every summer, and it was our favourite thing to do. I, ah... I used to have a small collection back home so I thought I'd start one again.

[ in direct contrast, kaeya decides to keep things a bit more conservative, if only because the bandages are... not really a good look. the side of him that's vain dislikes showing anything that is less than perfect, especially when this is meant to be a fun time spent with someone whose company he genuinely enjoys, but he's hoping he looks presentable enough. at least, enough to look good standing right next to matt.

seeing the scarf does brighten up the smile on his face though. ]

Food would be lovely, actually. What did you have in mind?

[ he is totally fine with leaving today under matt's control, since it seems like the other aion has a plan with how things should go. maybe some things will turn out to be a surprise, which is always nice.

the most he'd do is make sure nothing goes wrong, if he can help it. both of them could use a day to simply decompress and forget about what happened — even if it's only for a little bit. ]

Oh, that sounds quite intriguing.

[ Emet-Selch lifts a glass of his own and raises it for a little 'tink' against Kaeya's. Then he takes a refined little sip, and he makes an 'Mmm' noise thereafter. ]

Better than I have had thus far. Quite an unusual aftertaste, by the by.

[ the little clink of their glasses makes kaeya smile. he looks pleased with himself, if only a little. when it's his turn to take a sip, he tries to savour the taste. ]

Is it the gooseberry? I admit, it's a bit sweeter than I was expecting. [ he hums thoughtfully. ] I can taste a hint of honey too.

[ spoken like someone who drinks wine way too often. it's not surprising that he'd pick up on minute details like that.

at least his overall opinion is that this is an interesting blend, for sure. it's not one he hates. he wouldn't mind finishing the rest of his glass, hoping that emet-selch feels the same. ]

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ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ▸ it's a cycle i'm in.

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