[ Somehow, this feels like deja vu in more ways than one.
There's a ringing in his ears that wasn't quite there earlier on, like the buzzing of static. White noise. Time crawls to a complete stand-still when it looks as though there's nothing he can do to save Misa. Amos is so close, Amos is so dangerously close, just like before with him, and he'd already snapped more bones in her than necessary so what's a few more to finish the job? He doesn't think he can even hear her scream. Is she crying? Is she begging for Amos to stop? He doesn't know. None of it feels real. None of it feels like it's happening. Everything feels like he's watching from somewhere far away, like a movie played in slow motion.
Paused. Stopped.
Until the first sickening crack of bone and teeth slams into the fast-forward button, and then it all catches up. Like a domino effect. The adrenaline no longer makes his heart feel like it's about to leap right out of his chest. The pain dealt by the man who was supposed to be their friend hits him all at once. His breathing is difficult to control, worn and weary. Tired and all out of sorts. Gen moves to strike again, and now Kaeya has front-row seats to the way Amos' head collapses in on itself. Half of his jaw is missing, peeled apart by how flesh sticks to the jagged edges of the ace. There's blood all over the ground, all over Misa, all over—
( Bodies were strewn all around the broken carriage, pieces of themselves scattered like forgotten cargo. Kaeya ran as fast as he could, but he was too late, he was too late. The man who raised him like one of his own was now dying in the arms of Diluc, his sworn brother, someone whose conviction shattered just as soon as the first drop of rain hit the ground. It was pouring by the time the man breathed his last, and all Kaeya could do was watch as his body crumbled into ash and smoke.
There was nothing left of Master Crepus by the end of it. Maybe that was for the best. )
—Amos. There's blood all over Amos. Most of his face is gone by the time Kaeya remembers where he is.
Amos' body twitches, maybe out of reflex, maybe out of pain, but there's something wrong with how it happens. Kaeya looks, and all he sees is an eye wide open, still watching Misa, an arm lifted as if it still wants to reach out and grab her. It's trying to do something, maybe it's Amos asking for forgiveness, it's okay, I'm sorry, and then Amos is gone.
It's hard to describe the noise that comes out of Kaeya right now. Maybe it's a laugh. Maybe it's a sob. A strangled plea that doesn't quite sound right. All he can think about is just how powerless he was to stop something like this from happening again. Is this the reason why Diluc gave up on everything all those years ago? Is this why Diluc left his Vision behind and sought after a resolve that would burn brighter than what he lacked? It all makes sense to him now, when he thinks about it— after all, what was the point of clinging to a blessing from the gods when it couldn't even protect the ones you loved? At least, he thinks he understands, but at the same time, he realizes that nothing can be further from the truth.
He isn't Diluc, after all. He isn't a good person.
He tries to be, but he can't help but feel like laughing right now. Rather than deciding to never let this happen again, just like he's done before, he... doesn't know what to do anymore. He's at a complete loss. It would have been so much easier if he'd just let Amos crush his skull instead of letting things get to this point, because now he's left with what? The realization that a good man had to die because none of them could have saved him? He might as well crush his own shard right now. It's better than learning how to deal with everything else that happened.
But Misa's voice manages to cut through all the static. She reminds Gen, and Kaeya, too, that it's over. Please stop.
So he stops, walks over to the shard Amos left behind, and picks it up.
It doesn't feel like it's going to be okay, but at least it's over. Right? ]
cw: gore, suicide ideation
There's a ringing in his ears that wasn't quite there earlier on, like the buzzing of static. White noise. Time crawls to a complete stand-still when it looks as though there's nothing he can do to save Misa. Amos is so close, Amos is so dangerously close, just like before with him, and he'd already snapped more bones in her than necessary so what's a few more to finish the job? He doesn't think he can even hear her scream. Is she crying? Is she begging for Amos to stop? He doesn't know. None of it feels real. None of it feels like it's happening. Everything feels like he's watching from somewhere far away, like a movie played in slow motion.
Paused. Stopped.
Until the first sickening crack of bone and teeth slams into the fast-forward button, and then it all catches up. Like a domino effect. The adrenaline no longer makes his heart feel like it's about to leap right out of his chest. The pain dealt by the man who was supposed to be their friend hits him all at once. His breathing is difficult to control, worn and weary. Tired and all out of sorts. Gen moves to strike again, and now Kaeya has front-row seats to the way Amos' head collapses in on itself. Half of his jaw is missing, peeled apart by how flesh sticks to the jagged edges of the ace. There's blood all over the ground, all over Misa, all over—
( Bodies were strewn all around the broken carriage, pieces of themselves scattered like forgotten cargo. Kaeya ran as fast as he could, but he was too late, he was too late. The man who raised him like one of his own was now dying in the arms of Diluc, his sworn brother, someone whose conviction shattered just as soon as the first drop of rain hit the ground. It was pouring by the time the man breathed his last, and all Kaeya could do was watch as his body crumbled into ash and smoke.
There was nothing left of Master Crepus by the end of it. Maybe that was for the best. )
—Amos. There's blood all over Amos. Most of his face is gone by the time Kaeya remembers where he is.
Amos' body twitches, maybe out of reflex, maybe out of pain, but there's something wrong with how it happens. Kaeya looks, and all he sees is an eye wide open, still watching Misa, an arm lifted as if it still wants to reach out and grab her. It's trying to do something, maybe it's Amos asking for forgiveness, it's okay, I'm sorry, and then Amos is gone.
It's hard to describe the noise that comes out of Kaeya right now. Maybe it's a laugh. Maybe it's a sob. A strangled plea that doesn't quite sound right. All he can think about is just how powerless he was to stop something like this from happening again. Is this the reason why Diluc gave up on everything all those years ago? Is this why Diluc left his Vision behind and sought after a resolve that would burn brighter than what he lacked? It all makes sense to him now, when he thinks about it— after all, what was the point of clinging to a blessing from the gods when it couldn't even protect the ones you loved? At least, he thinks he understands, but at the same time, he realizes that nothing can be further from the truth.
He isn't Diluc, after all. He isn't a good person.
He tries to be, but he can't help but feel like laughing right now. Rather than deciding to never let this happen again, just like he's done before, he... doesn't know what to do anymore. He's at a complete loss. It would have been so much easier if he'd just let Amos crush his skull instead of letting things get to this point, because now he's left with what? The realization that a good man had to die because none of them could have saved him? He might as well crush his own shard right now. It's better than learning how to deal with everything else that happened.
But Misa's voice manages to cut through all the static. She reminds Gen, and Kaeya, too, that it's over. Please stop.
So he stops, walks over to the shard Amos left behind, and picks it up.
It doesn't feel like it's going to be okay, but at least it's over. Right? ]