[ dextera is afraid to touch people too closely, like this. it feels as if the muscles in his wrist are trying to jerk out so that he can cause no harm, but he wants to do this. howl has accepted him, and dextera doesn’t want to reject another person out of fear of what he might do.
he’s torn between wanting to lean in and run away; the magnetizing pull of either means he doesn’t do anything, remaining frozen with his fingers buried between quills ]
…
[ of course he does. he isn’t immune to howl’s despair, or to anyone’s. the pleroma keeps his head above water because he wants it that way, but he’s in control of his own feelings nonetheless. he’ll fall if he gives himself the chance to. ]
…I do, but… I’m not living for myself… so I can’t die for myself, either…
no subject
he’s torn between wanting to lean in and run away; the magnetizing pull of either means he doesn’t do anything, remaining frozen with his fingers buried between quills ]
…
[ of course he does. he isn’t immune to howl’s despair, or to anyone’s. the pleroma keeps his head above water because he wants it that way, but he’s in control of his own feelings nonetheless. he’ll fall if he gives himself the chance to. ]
…I do, but… I’m not living for myself… so I can’t die for myself, either…