[It's not what she really wants. Such an inglorious death, in a wood with no name, for a cause she didn't believe in... ? The dishonor of it burns, the shame of it threatens to consume her-
But what else is there? Anything else that she might want, if she could even bring herself to hope for it... Here in this world, it was impossible. The man who had helped her believe she might have a future wasn't here. That village where she had spent scant months of her life learning to live and to love for the first time, it might even be gone with the rest of her entire world. Anything she could want...
None of it was here. And yet this woman who has forced her back to health has the gall to preach at her, to speak of purpose and living-]
My death was promised before I even set hoof in this hell- !
[And she had been able to swallow that fear for the sake of her honor, because she needed to repay her debt, and because without her life, without Matsukaze's life in offering... so many lives would be ruined. For the first time in her life, she was set to do something good, even if it were selfish, even if it was only at the end, but now- ?]
If I cannot die there, then what purpose can there be in living here?
[So many here spoke as if... As if they'd just accepted it. As if they considered this place real, the people who lived in it worth protecting, and their struggles to be worth attempting to solve. What were they, heroes of justice from some ancient ballad? Hayame had never been a hero, even if she succeeded in her plan with Matsukaze and brought the cliff down on their pursuers...]
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But what else is there? Anything else that she might want, if she could even bring herself to hope for it... Here in this world, it was impossible. The man who had helped her believe she might have a future wasn't here. That village where she had spent scant months of her life learning to live and to love for the first time, it might even be gone with the rest of her entire world. Anything she could want...
None of it was here. And yet this woman who has forced her back to health has the gall to preach at her, to speak of purpose and living-]
My death was promised before I even set hoof in this hell- !
[And she had been able to swallow that fear for the sake of her honor, because she needed to repay her debt, and because without her life, without Matsukaze's life in offering... so many lives would be ruined. For the first time in her life, she was set to do something good, even if it were selfish, even if it was only at the end, but now- ?]
If I cannot die there, then what purpose can there be in living here?
[So many here spoke as if... As if they'd just accepted it. As if they considered this place real, the people who lived in it worth protecting, and their struggles to be worth attempting to solve. What were they, heroes of justice from some ancient ballad? Hayame had never been a hero, even if she succeeded in her plan with Matsukaze and brought the cliff down on their pursuers...]
This isn't my world! This isn't my fight!
[She'd never be a hero.]