aionlogs | [open] you know what your problem is?

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[open] you know what your problem is?

WHO: Amos, any Kenoma
WHAT: Amos rewards himself for being cured of Innocence by going on a depression bender.
WHERE: Throughout Achamoth
WHEN: Towards the end of/after the event
WARNINGS: Depression, self-loathing, a little suicidal ideation, lots of drinking, references to brothels, discussion of domestic violence/sexual assault/prostitution/child prostitution; will update as necessary

[ So, this sucks.

Getting out of Venera as soon as possible had been the only thing on Amos' mind once Misa had forced him out of Innocence's grip. That thing had exploited his vulnerabilities, manipulated him, turned him into a puppet to spread its nonsensical, fucked up ~~somewhat understandable~~ agenda, and he needed to leave immediately, before he fell victim to it again.

His legacy's shrine is one of the closest to Achamoth. Easy.

He had to swim across a lake and spend days walking across farmland in waterlogged boots before he actually made it back to the city. Less easy.

Though for all of the personal discomfort and frustration that brought with it, it was readily ignored by spending that time mentally reviewing everything he did while he was fucked in the head, now that he could with proper context. All of the harm he'd caused, all of the ways he'd refused to listen to reason, being reminded of the fact that all he's really good for is ruining other people's lives. Turns out that sucks.

Then there's the fact that ever since an initial mishap during one of his first days in Achamoth, he's been careful to not go out into the city with his shard exposed — but since anything he'd used to cover it up had ended up getting destroyed in Venera, he has no choice but to subject himself to. This. When he's the last person who should be revered or admired in any way, and now he has no way to avoid it.

The first stop on Amos' list is somewhere that can get him clothed again, courtesy of I don't have any money but I am an Aion can I please just have a shirt now. All subsequent stops are, well... ]

i. so just drinking and fucking

[ Going back to the Citadel isn't even remotely on his mind, certainly not when he's got plenty of self-pity to wallow in.

Amos sticks to the seedier parts of Achamoth, weaving his way through various bars and brothels as the mood strikes him. He still doesn't have any money on him, so it's a whole lot of showing off his shard to get either free booze, comped sex, or serve as a credible IOU (and one that, to the meagre credit he has left, he'll actually fulfil once he's had the chance to get his head back on straight and reacquire finances from the Citadel). It isn't hedonism he's fully sinking into so much as I'm a bad person, I feel like shit, I'm going to do things that physically make me feel less like shit. There are worse coping mechanisms, he figures; if there actually aren't, he doesn't care.

He ignores all communion messages he feels coming through; the best anyone can hope for if they try to reach out to him directly is a tacit acknowledgment that he's still alive, combined with maybe a somewhat hazy impression of his immediate surroundings, if that latter part ends up slipping through.

That, or maybe you just so happen to run into him in some shithole dive bar or upon leaving a brothel.

Either way, there really isn't a whole lot he can do if you end up in physically the same space as him, is there. ]

ii. till they run out of one or the other

[ At some point, he actually does have to go back to the Citadel.

He's clearly worse for the wear when he finally shows back up there, rough around the edges when he finally delivers his report to Xishen — several days late, but who's counting — and then has free reign of... well, not the entire place, but the usual.

Fuck, does he need a shower. And a nap. And maybe another drink, because why the hell not. Even though he may not necessarily look it, Amos is certainly feeling better; otherwise, he wouldn't have ended up back here.

Maybe he's dishevelled, maybe he's finally had the chance to clean up; maybe he's briefly roaming the hallways, maybe he's taking advantage of having his own spacious room again. Either way, he's certainly more receptive to company, having gotten most of... that... out of his system in the city.

Though Amos isn't forgetting how easily led astray he was, all in the name of hurting people, anytime soon. That part still bothers him, but when hasn't that been a regular part of his psyche, anyway. ]

iii. wildcard

[ I'm at arii#6412 or

cadiai if we need to talk specifics. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Hell yeah, Amos'll accept more immediately, angling his glass towards the bottle Kaeya's got. Thanks, bud.

He's back to sipping this time as Kaeya speaks, and yeah, that positive spin is working. Any of the bitterness he'd been holding onto seeps away, replaced with a kind of optimism. Like, yeah. They really are here to do something good. ]

Yeah. If they don't wanna fix things, that's fine. Not like anybody's gonna get left behind when we sort everything out.

[ Which is a hell of a way to talk about ending all life as they know it, but hey. Whatever. That's what they're gonna be doing eventually.

Amos looks back up at Kaeya, a softness to his expression, mind pleasantly buzzed. This feels like a scenario he could've experienced back home. Where, even if he had the chance to be the more knowledgeable party, he'd still need to gently be guided to the right conclusion most of the time. There's an echo of familiarity to all of this, and there's something really nice about leaning into it. ]

Y'know, [ he starts out slow, setting his glass down, settling further back into his chair. Comfortable, ] this really was good shit. And it's kinda nice, getting reminders like that. I'm used to things taking a long time, and this ain't exactly gonna be any different, but never a bad thing to lay out your priorities again along the way.

[ And they've got the same ones. That's — it's such an important thing.

And whatever Kaeya had come to him for, Amos has been getting something out of it, too. So when he'd said earlier that Kaeya really could just show up whenever... he'd meant it then, but the sentiment's got all the more meaning behind it now. ]

[ That's not Amos' problem that Howl's bender was interrupted?? Now Howl's made it his problem— Though that sense of companionability does plenty to soften Amos in turn. Yeah, okay. He can start to be aware again of the fact that his actions might have an impact on others. It sucks, and it's annoying, but... yeah.

The second champagne bottle catches his eye; emphasis on friendly really seems to be something here, huh. Amos really, really can't argue with any of this, so he leans back against the pillows, looking up at Howl. ]

Think this is it for me for the night.

[ He'll finish off the champagne, a nice little night cap, warm and light and hopefully something that'll remind him to be less of an ass. At least to people who are understanding. So, ]

Thanks. For — [ he vaguely waves his hand. The champagne, covering his shit, the recommendation for a time when he's got his shit together — ] all this. I owe you one.

[ Or two, or three, or... who knows, really. But yeah, if there's something Howl needs whenever Amos has decided to be a person again, he'll help him out with it. You know. When he's actually capable. ]

[ There's a soft laugh from him at the idea of him having sense. It's a reaction to both the light but pleasant sentiment they're treading on now as much as it is to the words themselves. Yeah, that's the story of his life, isn't it — relying on others so he doesn't fuck up as bad as he's capable of.

This really could've been so much worse. He needs to never do it again — and the fact that Misa reinitiates that closeness as soon as he's given her a real chance to get away just confirms it. There's a warmth to that, not at all dissimilar from what he'd felt at the party she'd set up, when she'd ended up confiding in him deeper.

The question of how she knew his birth name still hangs over his head some, but... that's an issue for later. Or not at all, if things can keep going on like this instead. This — all of this — is so much more important. ]

Right.

[ He really means it. As tried and true a method this has been for him to escape from reality when things get to be too much, it's. He really can't do that anymore. It's not fair to the people who care about him, and turns out he has that. Not that he's never had that before, but it's more inescapable now. And this is one instinct of his he might actually be able to fight off, so.

His jovial nature dips for a second, turns solemn as he adds on, ] Thank you.

[ For... too many things to say, really, but he figures she gets them. So, not wanting to let things get low again, he heaves a long exhale, really feeling the abuse he's put his body through over the past several days now. ]

Think I need a nap. And some food. And a shower. And... a lot of things, actually. [ Yeah, that's all on him. ] I'm gonna... I'll figure it out when we get back. Probably a nap first.

[ And then he can go from there. ]

[ Oh, yeah, as soon as she doesn't need his help anymore he'll just go right back at it. In the meantime, though, it costs him nothing to try to be a decent person. Worse, he'd hate himself all the more if he'd just blown her off, so this is also something he kinda has to do.

Not that he minds. The alternative to agreeable really isn't worth it. ]

Mountains, huh. Never really been to one before. [ It's an idle thought, his mind latching onto whatever, a little bit behind everything else she's saying... ] I get being self-sufficient though. You can get that in the city, just... different. Like your neighbours don't give a fuck about you, so really, all you can rely on is yourself.

[ It's not the same, but he's more latching onto themes than anything else, and in that way, it. It kinda is. Less a resources issue — though he knows plenty about that too, just in a different way — more in a the world doesn't care, so it's all up to you kind of way. And that, he knows all too well. It's kinda part of the reason they need to end everything, burn it all down.

... Which will have to wait for later, because looking up, Amos is pretty sure that might be a pet store up ahead. Or at least, it looks like what he figures one would... how many other stores have paw print imagery? ]

Think that's one over there. [ He gestures loosely — and inaccurately, but, close enough — with his arm. ] I can... [ what is he offering... ] You think you need any more help? Picking out stuff, or showing me a cat... or... whatever.

[ Yeah he's doing great. At least he's got the spirit. ]

[Pounding away at dough does seem like it would fit Amos better, but it doesn't feel entirely polite to say out loud either, so Ciel simply smiles in agreement. Or rather, keeps the same smile she's already wearing by the time he's given his wordless approval of how they taste: simple as shortbread cookies are (to make too, difficult to mess up!), they ARE good as is. Now that the man's spoken for himself, though...]

Haha, I don't think I have the time or capital for that. I don't want to give the skilled bakeries of Achamoth competition either. [Dog cafés would be a different matter, but Ciel doesn't know that just yet.] I've just been telling the kids things about my world, and how Children's Day is celebrated in June came up. Since that translates to Visoseri here, they all wanted treats, so here we are. [Sigh (small, but melodramatic)!] So now, it's only fair that everyone gets their share. This way, if you would please?

[And just like that, the next few hours fly by the blink of an eye as they see to it that every orphaned child under the Citadel's care gets their own little packaging of shortbread cookies sprinkled with a dash of brightly colored sugar crystals. Ciel was ready to help with the cleanup too, but after everything today, the kitchen and caretaker staff insist that the great Aions be on their way and rest, just leave the rest to them. So much, in fact, that both her and Amos will find themselves being enthusiastically escorted out of the kitchen, along with a tin can also full of cookies once every child's portion had been accounted for. It's 'their rightful share', as it goes.]

...Goodness. I would wonder if we've overstayed our welcome, but they were very nice about it. [Very much less "please get out" and more "you've done so much already leave the details to us", the kids have long left too after getting their share of cookies. The black haired boy, Charles as he was called, took some convincing, but he ultimately left too with one of the servants.]

How are you feeling, Amos? It didn't end up being too troublesome, I hope?

[As she hands him the tin of cookies, an 'Adult Portion' that could... admittedly, also last anywhere between a few hours to a few days. The oven being constantly on did make it hot, white patches of flour here and there on one's person can't be helped either, but otherwise, the work they had to do, the atmosphere, and the banter children and servants provided did make it a bustling and productive experience.

Though now that they're simply standing in the hallway... Hm. Where to, next?]

[ Children's Day, huh... He has no idea what that is, but it sounds nice. And hey, if it gets the kids here a bunch of cookies, then it really can only be a good thing. Amos was already happy to go along with this, but now that he knows it's for a good cause, Ciel really can just get him to do whatever she wants.

Which would have included cleanup, except the speed with which they're ushered out of there is almost breathtaking. He huffs at her comment about the staff being pleasant in agreement, but now they really are directionless, huh. ]

'm good. [ He accepts the tin from her, already cracking it open to rescue a cookie from inside. He's earned this. ] Really needed a day like that, I think.

[ He's not lying. Getting the chance to actually be around people again, let alone kids, his one weakness... to do something nice for them. After days of being mired in his own selfishness, maybe this, more than anything else, gave him the snap back to reality he'd needed. Or at least a long-term one that's going to stick.

So he offers the partially opened tin to Ciel, if she wants to take one of the fruits of their labours now, too. If Amos earned his, then she's earned her share more than twice over. That's all he can think of for what's next, it having been a busy enough day to have made him forget about any awkwardness he'd had upon seeing her again for the first time since. Venera.

What's a little trying to drag someone you trust down into the depths of Innocence with you when you spent the better part of the day making cookies with them, anyway? Surely it's completely behind them now. ]

It was my pleasure.

[ There's a glint in Howl's eye as he moves towards the door — he likes the sound of that I owe you one, but he chooses to tuck it into the back of his mind for now. After all, he isn't done for the night, and he's eager to return to his room. ]

Rest easy, yes? [ Placing a hand to his chest and bowing slightly at the waist, he opens the door to reveal two brothel workers huddled in the hallway, immediately looking mortified to be caught snooping. Howl simply smiles at them as they scatter and try to pretend that isn't what they were doing; without looking back, he shuts the door behind him and his footsteps fade in the direction of his room. ]

Thank you for helping, you did seem to take very well to all this too. [And she doesn't just mean how effective he was at making dough; he got along with the helper staff and the kids, there was an ease to him she hasn't seen Amos display anywhere else so far.] Do you like children, Amos?

[It seems like a natural thing to ask, and at his offer, she accepts it by plucking a single cookie out of the tin. She doesn't eat it just yet though, holding it near her face pensively while still maintaining a peppy and relaxed demeanor.]

Well then, what now... [As if she didn't set the rest of the day's itinerary already, but hmm.] Shall we go for a walk, or would you like to rest a bit and sit down somewhere?

[So that they can talk :) As agreed previously, yes?]

[ Gray isn't totally sure she and Amos are on the same page about self-sufficiency, but it does say something about his point of view. She doesn't think he's completely wrong, either. City life is constantly full of momentum, she feels, and people who are always on the move have less time to stop for the people around them. There's something to be admired about people who are determined to stay busy, but there can be a coldness to them too.

In any case, it looks like they've managed to find a pet store. Gray perks up at the sight of it, then looks over at Amos with gentle confusion at his question before remembering that she shouldn't try too hard to make sense of him right now. ]

... Yes, please. You can come in too.

[ The pet store is cute and friendly, especially by Achamoth's aesthetic standards, and it turns out there are some puppies tumbling around in the window display. It's a modestly-sized store, but jam-packed with rows of food and tanks of small animals for sale. Gray pads in and begins to cruise the few aisles for suitable cat treats. Though she's been swallowed up by the shelves, she calls out softly to Amos. ]

You can pick out anything you like.

[ when the mood begins to improve again, kaeya can only smile as he refills his own glass. people like amos as so easy to understand, but maybe that's why kaeya is so drawn to him like a lost child who has no idea where to go. it's almost funny how the other man hasn't changed anything about the way he acts, and yet kaeya's perception of him have changed drastically.

it's probably just the amos effect at this point. (it also helps that he's easy on the eyes too.) ]

... I must admit, I did get more out of this than I expected.

[ after all, what he wanted is to just have someone to listen, but he thinks he's going to leave here with a better idea of what he's meant to do and what role he's meant to play here. and while he doesn't think he can be completely rid of all his uncertainties, he can always rely on amos to keep him in check at the very least. ]

But I appreciate it nonetheless. Thanks for hearing me out, Amos.

[ he'd already been planning on making this a regular thing since he first brought it up, but if amos is getting something out of this too, then that's all the more reason to make this routine. ]

And I hope you know that you can come to me should you ever need anything.

[ it's a two-way street. (friendship, that is.) ]

Yeah. [ He does like kids. A beat, a pause for uncertainty, and... ] You think I took well to this?

[ He knows she just said that, but. For as much as he likes kids. Wants them to generally have a good time. Get the chance to just be kids. He never knows if he's actually doing it right; if he's making a positive impact on them. Most of the time, he doesn't really care how he comes off, but if he ever found himself mistreating a kid for whatever reason — sheer ignorance on his part in all likelihood, maybe stress — well. That'd be the number one thing that'd send him right back out to a downward spiral in the seedier parts of Achamoth, wouldn't it.

... So if Ciel, someone he already looks up to, thought he did a good job, then... that's something really heartwarming. Which isn't a common experience for him, but here...

He looks back over at her. ]

We can walk. Probably good to stretch the legs a bit again. I got nowhere to go, though.

[ In other words, lead the way. Physically and verbally, because he sure as shit ain't gonna bring up talking things out. Hours spent in a kitchen and getting the notion put in his head that he's done something good today are more than enough for him than to consider discussion of something he's decided is behind him.

But Ciel's already proven it only takes a bit of light bullying from her to get him to do anything, so... ]

[ Alright, then. She technically doesn't need him anymore, but he's as suggestible as ever and even less likely to question things given his inebriated state, so he just follows her in. Maybe she'll pick out something big and he'll need to carry it for her, who knows.

And promptly gets lost staring at anything remotely unusual (which, considering how he's never had a pet in his life, is kinda... most things in here), so Gray's voice is a welcoming beacon. ]

Don't got any pets... don't think there's anything for me here.

[ Except, well, her. He looks up, around, eventually finds the aisle she's in. And, at least for this part, he's got enough wits about him to not broadcast his voice. ]

Don't even got any money on me. [ And while he's been more than content to push his Aion status as a means to get free drinks or sex, something about being in a pet store has him not wanting to do that. ] I dunno. You're the boss here.

[ He really is just along for the ride. Doesn't even occur to him to question how long this particular ride has been going for him, though. Not like it's anything bad... He just likes her, is all. Has been happy to let Gray lead the way. It's really as good a use of his time as anything else. ]

[ For Amos' part, he has not once thought about the fact that he's been without a shirt for all of this. He'd been thinking about going to bed when Kaeya had first knocked; no reason to change anything about that.

He raises his eyebrows at him on that first remark; what did he expect to get out of this? But it's a silent question as Amos takes another drink, is content to just let him continue... especially as Kaeya thanks him. ]

Sure. What're friends for?

[ Because they're friends... who else shows up at one's door late at night with drinks in hand. Being in company you want to keep means being around friends. Hell, sometimes it means being around family, but right now this is just something nice. He's not gonna make it out to be anything more than it is until the times comes for that.

And what it is is friendship.

He polishes off the rest of his glass, offers Kaeya a smile. ]

I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.

[ For the wine; for the offer. Because Amos really isn't the type to go to anyone when he needs something... but having been told off by a couple of other Kenoma Lovers is gonna give him some things to think about. So. While his response is delivered plainly... maybe. Maybe he will. ]

I do, yes. [She answers easily, but after a beat, throws a glance his way.] Do you think you have a good reason to believe otherwise, Amos?

[He was patient, he humored the kids. He gave them his time of the day when they got a little unruly. They can be whimsical and have a penchant for chaos, but isn't that just people in general? What did he think it took, spending time with them and entertaining them?

At his expressed preference, she hums in agreement with a nod and begins leading the way. The citadel is a pretty big place with several courtyards, training and decorative alike; they won't run out of new places to get to, with all the zigzags it may take to reach every last one.

Well then.]

You're not blaming yourself over what I happened, I hope?

[Let's start with that.]

... Come again?

[ for a moment there, kaeya doesn't think he'd said that out loud, but there it is in all of its confusing glory. he is looking at amos like the man just said something completely outlandish because he couldn't believe what he just heard. it isn't something he expected to hear since it's not like the two of them are particularly close— or maybe he's the only one who thinks that. at the very least, it doesn't look like amos is joking.

kaeya has always had the awful habit of assuming the worst out of everyone. that no one could possibly see him as anything more than just an acquaintance since what good will that do? he isn't an honest man. you can't really trust him, no matter what he says, but...

it's a nice thought, he thinks to himself, to call someone like amos as his friend. the last time he referred to someone as such is because he was being facetious. he doesn't want that to be the same case here, but that's probably why he is so hesitant. the strongest connection he's ever allowed himself to have didn't end well so it wouldn't surprise him if that's what happens here too.

still, if anyone could probably defy those odds, maybe amos might be the one to succeed. the man had already managed to change his perception of him without having to change anything about the way he acted, so who knows.

he lifts up his glass, tipping it towards the other man's direction. a toast. ]

To our friendship, then.

[ he downs the entire drink in one go before he could think to say anything else. maybe it wouldn't hurt to hope that this turns out favourably for both of them. it's a small sliver of a chance, but he'll allow himself to have this. ]

[ It's such a simple question, and one that makes him wonder why he'd even thought to question her in the first place. He's silent for a moment, trying to find an appropriate answer for her, but... there really isn't one. ]

Guess not. [ He's actually a little in awe of himself as he says it, looking back up at her, kinda surprised. ] I'm just not used to things being so... easy.

[ It had come naturally, that time in the kitchen with the kids. He hadn't even thought to question it at the time, so why is he now? Was it just him, though, or was it Ciel having a good effect on him?

... Either way, all that matters is that it was a good day. So. He's content to walk alongside her, cookie tin in hand (but lid back in place, because it's not like they need to eat the thing in one go. Walking is probably preventing them from just completely going to town, actually).

And then Ciel hits him with that new question, and even though Amos' wince is internal, it's probably still easy to perceive. Just give him a moment to collect his thoughts first and, then... ]

Don't really got anyone else to blame. [ His voice is clinical. Detached. And yet, still a casual drawl. ] That was still me, doing all that shit. I can own that. Not like I'm proud of it, but I'm done running from it now.

[ Watching Kaeya take a moment to figure out whatever those feelings are going on inside him, Amos just thinks, Ah, one of those types.

Not like it does anything to dissuade him, though. He just patiently waits for Kaeya to reach whatever conclusion it is he's going to, gentle smile on his face all the while. Amos isn't the type to say shit just for the sake of it; he isn't the type to make friends easy, either. But once he's found someone, he's sure of that much. Just a matter of waiting for Kaeya to catch up to him.

So when it looks like he does, his smile widens a bit. Amos raises his empty glass in mock return toast, nods at Kaeya before setting it back down on the table between them. ]

As good a thing as any to drink to. [ A beat. ] Especially if you're gonna bring wine back around again. It's like you said, right? Drinking with good company and all that.

[ Whatever reservations Kaeya might be feeling, Amos'll take them and saunter right on through. The writing already feels like it's on the wall to him, so why dance around it, you know? He'll be there whenever Kaeya's ready to pick up the pace. ]

[ Amos' gentle certainty feels like an anchor in rough seas. A weighted blanket to Matt's mind. He'd been on the verge of spilling out the rest of his self-blaming catechism, the things he's let take hold without fully agreeing to them: It's stupid that I dated him after that, isn't it is usually next on the list, or he could at least explain the whole ... vampires drinking blood thing. But the uncompromising tone in Amos' voice makes him pause. Whoever he'd be trying to convince with any of that, it wouldn't be Amos; Amos is immovable on this point. That's what his tone seems to say.

So instead, Matt sinks into their embrace, whatever words he might have said escaping on a sigh. He doesn't feel deflated, or cut off--he actually feels lighter than he thought he would at this point in telling someone all this. Like he's been freed from an ugly obligation. His head turns slightly, cheek resting on Amos' shoulder.

Strangely, he finds himself smiling. ]

Yeah, [ he murmurs. ] We will.

[ He doesn't know how he feels about Vincent being dead. But a world where future Vincents don't exist, who don't do the things that were done to Matt? That he can't see as anything but unalloyed good. His arms tighten around Amos in another brief squeeze. ]

Thanks.

[ His answer knocks at a strange door in her subconsciousness, and with a start she realizes why that is: his subservience is a lot like hers, a placid following without question or desire, safe with the will of the other person. It isn't anything unusual in itself, but she can safely say that she's never been the person captaining a venture. It's completely alien to her that someone else would place themselves in her hands in this way, let alone a near stranger. She wonders if other people feel this way about her, wondering why she would want to tag along so obediently.

Maybe it feels especially strange because of his tough-looking exterior — though she knows not all people can be judged by their appearances. It just feels a bit like a boar willing to be led along by a rabbit.

She thought he might be interested in any interesting-looking toys, but since he isn't, she just plucks up a catnip toy on a small mock fishing rod along with a bag of dried meat treats. After a quick chat with the store owner, Gray easily hands over the necessary jools and comes away with the treats and the toy, and makes sure Amos is still following along before heading out. She begins to lead them toward the looming Citadel, where she knows some friendly cats roam. ]

My name is Gray, by the way. I don't think I've thanked you yet for helping me.

[ All Amos can really do as Matt leans further in is remain a steady presence, so... he does that. Lets Matt get things out of his system however he needs to. It's kind of a loss cause on Amos' end, so the very least he can do is give someone else everything they need.

Shitty as it all is, there's something nice about finally laying everything out in the open. The further Amos has adjusted to the Kenoma, the more he doesn't see the problem in how their first few weeks on Horos went. It was necessary; it led to something good. The only problem was how unreliable the process was at times, leaving them with glimpses without context. Because if this is proving anything, it's better to just get it all out in the open. Whatever he and Matt had before, they've finally made it better. Clearer. Whole.

He reciprocates that last squeeze to Matt. Holds it a moment longer, unsure of what to do now. Worst of it's now out of the way, right? So. ]

Sure thing. [ There's that solidity in his voice, like he's pretty sure is what Matt needs from him, and he's able to provide. ] Any time.

[ ... He'll let Matt decide when to pull apart. This is his thing. But Amos also isn't in any rush, and there's no sense of judgment or impatience on his end. He's content to let this carry out as long as it needs to. It's the role he actually can play, so he'll play it to a tee. ]

[ He really is content to just be her shadow. It's how his life has gone, albeit maybe not exactly like this: find someone good and let them lead you. It's also something he's been lacking since Venera, but to slip back into the old, familiar pattern might actually be a good thing for him. Amos is still fucked up, still not ready to properly face reality again, but it's like dipping his toe back in the water and thinking yeah, I can do this later, even if the timing isn't right yet.

So he passively watches her as she makes her selections, then passively follows her out. To him, the Citadel is nothing more than a vague shape looming in the distance; he knows he doesn't want to go there yet, but in its direction is fine. Kinda feels like it's everywhere sometimes.

Ugh. Later he'll go back there proper—

Oh. He blinks down at Gray, confused, like he didn't expect to be thanked.

After a moment probably a little longer than would've been socially acceptable, ] Amos. I— [ wasn't doing anything anyway. Didn't really do anything. Am kind of just a selfish asshole— ] don't mind. 's no problem.

Well, you're very welcome to come help out and spend more time with the kids whenever you like, Barnaby is often with them too. The citadel staff and the children are very used to us by now, I'm sure they wouldn't mind one more Aion as playmate. Just be ready to get asked if they can climb onto your shoulders a lot, okay~?

[The ~~warning~~ prediction is made with a sideway glance towards him that... Was that a wink? That may have been a wink. She doesn't skip a beat in her step or with the conversation, but does allow a brief pause to cool before continuing with more sobriety.]

I can understand your reasoning, that this world has entities capable of interfering with us on such a scale is... a rude awakening. [To put it mildly. She got lucky.] Nevertheless, it's best to look forward. Have you spoken to others you came across, back then?

[She tilts her head slightly, blue eyes watching him attentively.]

...

[It seems irresponsible to just leave him here, but Amos is a grown man who can do whatever he wants, and Achamoth is the perfect place to indulge drowning in one's vices. That Barnaby disapproves of something that is ultimately none of his business is... well. None of his business.

He turns his gaze away and fishes in his pocket for a few quartz pieces to pay the barman, then gets to his feet.]

Then do as you please, but try not to inconvenience others by making them worry about you. [He doesn't know anything about Amos's relationship to the other Kenoma, but if nothing else, his absence in the Citadel is bound to be noticed sooner or later, if he's not spotted by someone else out here in the way Barnaby stumbled across him.]

[ Her hood tips curiously at his odd pause(s), but she otherwise just nods and lets a comfortable silence lapse between them as they amble along. She scans the streets slowly for signs of local catlife, willfully ignoring the eyes of the citizens that look their way.

It takes a longer time than she would have liked to drag a new acquaintance around for, but in the end she finally spots a friend in the distance; she curves away from the main road and down a quiet thoroughfare. She slows, her footsteps becoming delicate and her voice even softer as she approaches a black cat sitting on a brick partition, its round blue eyes watching them approach curiously. ]

Okay, Mr. Amos... Ah — have you ever met a cat before?

[ It sounds silly, but it needs to be asked... ]

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