[ All Amos has for Gen at first is a flat stare. He's pretty sure he could snap Gen in half if he wanted to, so... yeah, he has his doubts that Gen could ever actually hurt him. Not physically, at least. And bristles or not he isn't exactly shy about letting that sentiment be known; it's almost certainly the truth.
Though he is thankful when he lowers his voice again. Why Gen decided they needed to have this talk in public is beyond him — but from how Gen is reacting to this, it's pretty clear there's a disconnect.
Where Gen needs alcohol to deal with this, Amos has barely touched his glass. He keeps it ignored. He's going to be sober for this one, as he keeps his voice appropriately low, too, never breaking eye contact. ]
Because I'll do this shit without magic in play, too.
[ It's that simple. Amos talking about his weakness hadn't been self-pity; it'd been fact. Sure, he could probably take Gen in a physical fight, easy, and that's its own kind of strength. The kind he's made sure he has, because it's the only one he can really guarantee. ]
I fuck things up. A lot. I've hurt people I care about, and that dates to back home when there wasn't any magic bullshit. It's not like I mean to. I just make a decision, and turns out it was the wrong one, but by the time I know that I've hurt someone else. Everything that happened in Venera — it's something I've done before, will probably do again.
[ One of the few things he hadn't recalled on his walk back to Achamoth was inadvertently giving Gen a glimpse of Lydia. Some woman he'd thought about had inspired that memory from him, and it's as Amos realizes now that he breaks his gaze to scrub a hand down his face, rough and hard and fuck. He doesn't want people knowing about her—
He owes Gen at least a little more explanation. ]
's why I gotta follow someone else's lead. I follow my instincts, I'm probably gonna fuck up. I follow the wrong person, I'm gonna fuck up. That's what happened there. I don't know what the solution is.
[ If he was led astray from the Regent that easily already, then... shit. Who knows what's next for him, and who's gonna get caught in the next crossfire. ]
no subject
Though he is thankful when he lowers his voice again. Why Gen decided they needed to have this talk in public is beyond him — but from how Gen is reacting to this, it's pretty clear there's a disconnect.
Where Gen needs alcohol to deal with this, Amos has barely touched his glass. He keeps it ignored. He's going to be sober for this one, as he keeps his voice appropriately low, too, never breaking eye contact. ]
Because I'll do this shit without magic in play, too.
[ It's that simple. Amos talking about his weakness hadn't been self-pity; it'd been fact. Sure, he could probably take Gen in a physical fight, easy, and that's its own kind of strength. The kind he's made sure he has, because it's the only one he can really guarantee. ]
I fuck things up. A lot. I've hurt people I care about, and that dates to back home when there wasn't any magic bullshit. It's not like I mean to. I just make a decision, and turns out it was the wrong one, but by the time I know that I've hurt someone else. Everything that happened in Venera — it's something I've done before, will probably do again.
[ One of the few things he hadn't recalled on his walk back to Achamoth was inadvertently giving Gen a glimpse of Lydia. Some woman he'd thought about had inspired that memory from him, and it's as Amos realizes now that he breaks his gaze to scrub a hand down his face, rough and hard and fuck. He doesn't want people knowing about her—
He owes Gen at least a little more explanation. ]
's why I gotta follow someone else's lead. I follow my instincts, I'm probably gonna fuck up. I follow the wrong person, I'm gonna fuck up. That's what happened there. I don't know what the solution is.
[ If he was led astray from the Regent that easily already, then... shit. Who knows what's next for him, and who's gonna get caught in the next crossfire. ]