What is with all you types being so eager to die, huh?
[ Gen abruptly shifts to shoot Amos a sideways glare with that whisper-hissed retort, his words sharp at the edges. (Like a hypocrite.)
A touchy subject for him, obviously, and one that he's especially not eager to be discussing after everything that happened in Venera. His breaths come a little too quickly afterwards for that reaction to have been one born simply of annoyance, and even when Gen looks away once more, the restless drum of his fingers against the bartop make it obvious he doesn't like this line of conversation. How the hell is he even supposed to respond to something like that?
There's a prolonged pause before Gen speaks up again. ]
-- you think Misa would've been happy ... [ Pause. No. ] -- you think she would've been safe just 'cause you got mad at yourself and drank yourself under a table after all that? You know she would've come out here looking for you by herself if she had to, right. You think that's what would've kept her safe? Get your shit together.
[ Is he being harsher than he has to be? Almost certainly. And he knows it, too, but it's hard knowing what's even the right thing to say in this situation. Gen keeps his gaze fixed down on the rippling surface of his drink, his barstool wobbling from the way he restlessly twitches his leg while searching for the right words. ]
I'll -- I've always done whatever I have to do. Whatever it is, whatever it takes, I'll do it. [ Yeah, he'll make that trade. Isn't that all he's been doing for the last six years? Fat load of good it did, though. ] But it's not that simple, it's not like ... making that trade means you're always gonna do the right thing. Even if you think you're following the right person. I don't think it works out that easily. -- and you doing this shit just 'cause you think you messed up isn't gonna help anyone. Sometimes things just aren't meant to work out.
[ Why is it so hard to just say 'it's not your fault?' Maybe because some part of him knows it is -- knows that some things were Amos' fault, just like what he did to Eustace was his fault. 'It's not your fault,' isn't true, and to say it out loud would be ridiculous, but ... even if some things were Amos' fault, isn't that okay? Can't he just accept that it happened? Wouldn't that be easier? ]
no subject
[ Gen abruptly shifts to shoot Amos a sideways glare with that whisper-hissed retort, his words sharp at the edges. (Like a hypocrite.)
A touchy subject for him, obviously, and one that he's especially not eager to be discussing after everything that happened in Venera. His breaths come a little too quickly afterwards for that reaction to have been one born simply of annoyance, and even when Gen looks away once more, the restless drum of his fingers against the bartop make it obvious he doesn't like this line of conversation. How the hell is he even supposed to respond to something like that?
There's a prolonged pause before Gen speaks up again. ]
-- you think Misa would've been happy ... [ Pause. No. ] -- you think she would've been safe just 'cause you got mad at yourself and drank yourself under a table after all that? You know she would've come out here looking for you by herself if she had to, right. You think that's what would've kept her safe? Get your shit together.
[ Is he being harsher than he has to be? Almost certainly. And he knows it, too, but it's hard knowing what's even the right thing to say in this situation. Gen keeps his gaze fixed down on the rippling surface of his drink, his barstool wobbling from the way he restlessly twitches his leg while searching for the right words. ]
I'll -- I've always done whatever I have to do. Whatever it is, whatever it takes, I'll do it. [ Yeah, he'll make that trade. Isn't that all he's been doing for the last six years? Fat load of good it did, though. ] But it's not that simple, it's not like ... making that trade means you're always gonna do the right thing. Even if you think you're following the right person. I don't think it works out that easily. -- and you doing this shit just 'cause you think you messed up isn't gonna help anyone. Sometimes things just aren't meant to work out.
[ Why is it so hard to just say 'it's not your fault?' Maybe because some part of him knows it is -- knows that some things were Amos' fault, just like what he did to Eustace was his fault. 'It's not your fault,' isn't true, and to say it out loud would be ridiculous, but ... even if some things were Amos' fault, isn't that okay? Can't he just accept that it happened? Wouldn't that be easier? ]