[ Matt figures Amos isn't getting as much out of this as he is, which is one more pebble of kindness to lay at his feet. Matt holds out hope of conveying some kind of genuine comfort to him, but the most it seems he can be sure of is that Amos isn't actively uncomfortable. Looking at his face, he doesn't seem to be; and when Matt winds his arms around Amos' waist, he feels surer. There's a lack of tension he thinks he can detect. Amos is warm, and his shoulder comes to fit neatly against Matt's shoulder. It's reassuring. ]

It's hard, [ Matt murmurs. ] It'll be hard in ways we can't even imagine, I'm starting to think. But I want that too. [ His arms tighten in a brief squeeze. ] I'll do my best to make it happen.

[ Matt's quiet for a little while. He has no confidence that he can communicate what he wants to just by saying so--and if he could, Amos has no reason to believe him. So he focuses on being present. On letting the compass of his arms say you're worthy of love and acceptance, while his heart beats I'm in this with you.

Can a hug do all that? Maybe not. But it's real--it can be felt.

Eventually, after the span of Matt's not sure how many breaths, he says over Amos' shoulder: ]

My ex said he'd kill me.

[ And then, to be punctiliously accurate: ] Sort of.