aionlogs | [open] you know what your problem is?

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[open] you know what your problem is?

WHO: Amos, any Kenoma
WHAT: Amos rewards himself for being cured of Innocence by going on a depression bender.
WHERE: Throughout Achamoth
WHEN: Towards the end of/after the event
WARNINGS: Depression, self-loathing, a little suicidal ideation, lots of drinking, references to brothels, discussion of domestic violence/sexual assault/prostitution/child prostitution; will update as necessary

[ So, this sucks.

Getting out of Venera as soon as possible had been the only thing on Amos' mind once Misa had forced him out of Innocence's grip. That thing had exploited his vulnerabilities, manipulated him, turned him into a puppet to spread its nonsensical, fucked up ~~somewhat understandable~~ agenda, and he needed to leave immediately, before he fell victim to it again.

His legacy's shrine is one of the closest to Achamoth. Easy.

He had to swim across a lake and spend days walking across farmland in waterlogged boots before he actually made it back to the city. Less easy.

Though for all of the personal discomfort and frustration that brought with it, it was readily ignored by spending that time mentally reviewing everything he did while he was fucked in the head, now that he could with proper context. All of the harm he'd caused, all of the ways he'd refused to listen to reason, being reminded of the fact that all he's really good for is ruining other people's lives. Turns out that sucks.

Then there's the fact that ever since an initial mishap during one of his first days in Achamoth, he's been careful to not go out into the city with his shard exposed — but since anything he'd used to cover it up had ended up getting destroyed in Venera, he has no choice but to subject himself to. This. When he's the last person who should be revered or admired in any way, and now he has no way to avoid it.

The first stop on Amos' list is somewhere that can get him clothed again, courtesy of I don't have any money but I am an Aion can I please just have a shirt now. All subsequent stops are, well... ]

i. so just drinking and fucking

[ Going back to the Citadel isn't even remotely on his mind, certainly not when he's got plenty of self-pity to wallow in.

Amos sticks to the seedier parts of Achamoth, weaving his way through various bars and brothels as the mood strikes him. He still doesn't have any money on him, so it's a whole lot of showing off his shard to get either free booze, comped sex, or serve as a credible IOU (and one that, to the meagre credit he has left, he'll actually fulfil once he's had the chance to get his head back on straight and reacquire finances from the Citadel). It isn't hedonism he's fully sinking into so much as I'm a bad person, I feel like shit, I'm going to do things that physically make me feel less like shit. There are worse coping mechanisms, he figures; if there actually aren't, he doesn't care.

He ignores all communion messages he feels coming through; the best anyone can hope for if they try to reach out to him directly is a tacit acknowledgment that he's still alive, combined with maybe a somewhat hazy impression of his immediate surroundings, if that latter part ends up slipping through.

That, or maybe you just so happen to run into him in some shithole dive bar or upon leaving a brothel.

Either way, there really isn't a whole lot he can do if you end up in physically the same space as him, is there. ]

ii. till they run out of one or the other

[ At some point, he actually does have to go back to the Citadel.

He's clearly worse for the wear when he finally shows back up there, rough around the edges when he finally delivers his report to Xishen — several days late, but who's counting — and then has free reign of... well, not the entire place, but the usual.

Fuck, does he need a shower. And a nap. And maybe another drink, because why the hell not. Even though he may not necessarily look it, Amos is certainly feeling better; otherwise, he wouldn't have ended up back here.

Maybe he's dishevelled, maybe he's finally had the chance to clean up; maybe he's briefly roaming the hallways, maybe he's taking advantage of having his own spacious room again. Either way, he's certainly more receptive to company, having gotten most of... that... out of his system in the city.

Though Amos isn't forgetting how easily led astray he was, all in the name of hurting people, anytime soon. That part still bothers him, but when hasn't that been a regular part of his psyche, anyway. ]

iii. wildcard

[ I'm at arii#6412 or

cadiai if we need to talk specifics. ]

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[ He honestly hadn't known this was one of the more highly regarded brothels in Achamoth; as Amos had meandered his way through the streets before this particular urge struck him, all he'd known was it had been the closest. Sure, it's probably been the most comfortable place he's been since before he left for Venera, but that fact hadn't exactly registered in his mind, more concerned with the need to get some kind of release — and more later, if his body cooperates — before passing out for the night and getting back up the next day to resume doing this all over again.

He's still spaced out when there's a knock at his door; Amos doesn't register it until it's already open, but at least he'd already had the bedsheet covering his lower half. At first, Amos figured he'd just be going at it again sooner rather than later, but why the hell not; it isn't until Howl says his name that he recognizes it's a fellow Aion. ]

Hey. [ His words come out a little slurred and he has to squeeze his eyes shut, blink forcefully a few times to try to bring Howl into focus. Right. Right, he knows him. ] 's only evening? Thought it was later...

[ He trails off aimlessly, at first lifting a hand to provide a meaningless gesture about the passage of time before letting it just fall back to his side as though it's actually too heavy for that. He's just left staring up at Howl, not entirely sure what he's doing here but not opposed to his presence, either. They're both just kinda there, as far as he's concerned. ]

[ Howl huffs a laugh. The other Aion's dazed state of mind strikes Howl as less pathetic than one might think; he can honestly relate to where Amos is at right now. Still, Howl is aware that bursting into Amos' private room in a ritzy whorehouse is a rather unusual way for them to reconnect, so before he cross-examines him on why the staff are coming to him with his bill, he can spare him some politeness.

Howl turns to the meek employee behind him and crosses his arms over his bare chest. ]

There's an open bottle of champagne in my room. Bring it here, along with a second, and two glasses. Please.

[ Once she's left, Howl shuts the door behind him and turns back to Amos. ]

Sorry to cut your afterglow short, mate. [ Howl looks him over, already suspecting the answer to his next question, but he'll ask anyway. ] You alright?

[ He does perk up at the mention of champagne, sitting up a little straighter and leaving the bedsheet to pool around his lap. That's kinda all he has going for him right now in that department, but... look at where they are; Amos isn't shy, so he figures Howl probably isn't, either.

And, hell, that's an easy question, so it gets an easy answer. ]

Nope.

[ Jesus, far from it. But he's had a good fuck and now he's going to get more alcohol, which are kinda the only two things he wants right now. The fact that he's pretty sure that by the very nature of Howl being here he might also have someone who understands the desire to just indulge is an unexpected bonus.

Amos leans forward to pat the foot of the bed; whole thing's plenty big enough for space for someone to sit. Like hey, man. If you wanna, feel free. ]

[ Howl laughs again and holds his hands up in a shrug as he crosses the room and takes a seat on the bed. The wizard's body is lean and thin, to the point that he might appear taller than he really is from afar, but from up close it will be more obvious how plain and average he really is. Even his face seems distinctly less beautiful than usual, and he's forgone his usual blond hair for his regular, natural black.

Despite being so dressed-down, Howl is alert and healthy. He crosses an ankle over the opposite knee and looks Amos over for a moment. ]

I'm guessing you had a bad time in Venera, then. So did I.

[ At that moment, there's a knock on the open door, and the same servant from before appears with the ordered champagne and glasses. Howl gestures to a small table pushed up next to the door, allowing her to set everything down and leave.

One she's gone, it only takes a flick of Howl's fingers for the door to shut, seemingly on its own. Then the open champagne bottle lifts into the air and pours into each glass. ]

...So did most of us, I imagine. Have a bad time in Venera, I mean.

[ Amos' sense of perception is... really not at its strongest at this point in time, to put it mildly. He just sees another guy, and one who has more of his wits about him than Amos does.

He goes from staring at Howl at that first remark to looking at the door and everything that follows thereafter once there's that knock. The floating champagne bottle in particular ends up taking up the bulk of his attention, enough to distract Amos from the rest of Howl's words for a longer-than-socially-acceptable moment.

Eventually he blinks, shakes his head to clear it, looks back up at Howl. ]

Yeah. I just... I gotta get away from that. This is the best way. [ A beat. ] That why you're here too?

[ His words are a little slurred, weighed down by exhaustion. He sighs, feeling a headache come on. Whatever. Champagne, and then he can sleep it off later. ]

[ Howl doesn't remember Amos being so... spacey. He gets a vague suspicion that the other man would prefer him not to be here, but — well, of course he would, considering where they are and what he's interrupting. Still, if Howl is going to pick up his tab, then surely Amos can satisfy his curiosity before getting back to it.

The two glasses of champagne cross the room, one floating to Howl and the other to Amos. Howl grasps his by the stem and takes a brief sip. ]

Yes. [ He watches the bubbles rising in his drink. ] This place doesn't compare to that owned by our other senior Aion, Dionys, but... it's one of the next best options. Did you come here on purpose, or...?

[ In Howl's defence, Amos would just prefer to not exist at all at the moment, so it's nothing personal. Hell, he's still pliable enough — and hadn't that been part of the problem in Venera, but, whatever, it's too much to ask of him to connect those dots — that as long as Howl is just kinda shooting the shit with him, he's fine with it.

He takes his glass when it comes to him, downs it all in one go. It's really not on his mind if he's going to get more or not — he's probably not getting up — as Amos stares blankly at his now-empty glass, looks back up at Howl when he speaks. ]

There's another—

[ Should he know that there's an Aion-run brothel around here? Shit, that feels like an oversight. Some day he's gonna have to— Amos shakes his head. ]

Don't really remember how I got here. Think this was just the closest place. 's nice, though. I could come here again.

[ When he's less fucked up. More able to actually appreciate where he is. As things stand, he's really just some drunk asshole with enough clout to luck into this place, isn't he? ]

You only go to the better places, huh?

[ ... Is he gonna remember to ask Howl about them when he's sober. Really, it's a tossup. ]

Me? [ Howl hums. In the pause, he lifts his hands and beckons to the champagne bottle. It floats over to Amos to offer him more. ]

...I suppose I do. I've never given it much thought until you asked. But I've also not frequented these sorts of establishments before coming to this world, either.

[ But this is hardly a revelation; Howl prefers to spend his time and money on quality experiences and purchases anyway. The neat tailoring of his clothing and his usual finely-tuned grooming is proof of that. ]

If you ever go to Dionys' place, though, I'll bet you'll never want to go anywhere else. Her position in Achamoth is well-earned. [ Howl smiles mysteriously, almost to himself. ]

[ Yeah, sure, he can drink more. It's nice of Howl, really. Amos watches his glass get refilled, but has enough decency to not immediately down it all again, actually making an effort to listen instead. He offers a sideways glance, even something that could be considered a cheeky little smile in return. ]

If you weren't used to these places before, then yeah. 's good to only go to the good ones. Smart.

[ In other words, he definitely has Amos' approval. This time he opts to take a mere sip of his champagne, slowing his roll a little. Because if they're gonna talk... If Howl's gonna offer up something like that... Yeah, there's a headache coming on, but he can ignore it for the time being. Not like he's new to any of this. ]

What's Dionys like?

[ Amos' more diplomatic single sip of his second glass of champagne is not lost on Howl. The wizard is not one to get offended by how he downed the first one, but he still likes to see Amos appreciating the drink. And hey, if he really needed to get a first round in him before he could savor the second, who is Howl to tell him no?

He looks into his glass to watch the bubbles rise as he considers the question. ]

She is...

[ ... his voice trails off. It seems like Howl might be having some trouble finding the right words, but what he's really doing is sifting through the array of thoughts that leapt to mind. The moment seems to pass after a few slightly awkward seconds. ]

...She's powerful. In numerous meanings of the world. Incredibly beautiful, but you take one look at her and you know she doesn't tolerate trifling men. Or women, probably.

[ He takes a sip of his champagne. ] From what I can tell, the Regent mostly leaves her to her own devices. That ought to tell you quite a lot.

[ As Howl's voice trails off, Amos shifts to get the chance to look at him proper. He really does have his full attention now; he even sets his glass down on the nightstand, letting his hands rest in the sheets pooled in his lap, relaxed, as he waits for Howl to proceed. It definitely feels like he's trying to find the right words, which is something Amos can appreciate. Only makes her seem that much more amazing.

Hell, by the end of it, he offers up a small laugh. Doesn't tolerate trifling men. Or women. ]

I can always appreciate someone like that.

[ Which is bold of him to say, considering his current state. Amos mulls it over, reaches for his glass again, takes a deeper sip this time. Fuck, this might be it for him for the night after all, the way Howl's thrown him off his rhythm, lulled him out of his groove, but he really has no complaints. ]

That does say a lot. [ ... She sounds hot, man, and he can't exactly hide that from his voice, low rumble even though he knows nothing's gonna happen. Not tonight, at least. ] How much time you get to spend with her?

[ It's clear from the way he talks that Howl's been with her in some way. Maybe not the traditional way, considering. But some way, and he makes it sound like that's good enough. ]

[ The comment about trifling men was not made in a vaccuum. Howl smiles at Amos after he chuckles and waves his free hand slightly to refill his champagne glass to the top again. ]

Ah, don't misunderstand. I was not there as a client. I wasn't there as a companion, either.

[ The champagne bottle floats to him now, empties the finger of champagne left into Howl's glass, and floats back to place itself in a trash can on the other side of the nightstand. ]

And in any event, I probably shouldn't kiss and tell. My apologies. [ He sips his champagne, looking at Amos over the rim of the glass, and then finally gets to the point. ]

If you do ever try visiting her brothel, however... I strongly suggest you bring payment with you on the night you go.

[ This is it for his night then, huh? A last hoorah before he gets to do it all over again in the afternoon? Hell, it's more than Amos thought he was gonna get, and he tilts his glass towards Howl in thanks. Even manages to not spill any of it. He'll even overlook the sin of Howl bringing up something so tantalizing and then not going into detail.

Although that last statement does a pretty good job of taking some of the good spirits out of him. Amos takes another sip of his champagne, nursing it, as a less-than-pleased expression crosses his face. Way to strike him at just the right point in his bender that it actually kinda hurts a little. ]

Not like I make this a regular thing or anything. Just don't have any cash on me. [ His voice is petulant; he's blameless here, damnit. What else is he supposed to do? ] I can be good for it. Just, you know. Later.

[ When he's not in the midst of a bender fuelled by self-loathing and self-pity. How is that not obvious? Geez. ]

[ Howl's smile softens into something a little more genuine. He gets it, Amos, he really does, but the staff here did interrupt his bender with this matter, so it begs to be addressed.

The wizard downs his glass of champagne, much like Amos did with his first pour, and smacks his lips with satisfaction after the swallow. ]

I know. And I am happy to cover this establishment's concerns to the contrary, don't worry. Just a... friendly reminder.

[ Near the door, the cork of the second champagne bottle suddenly pops. ]

And important advice, too, if you ever try to visit Dionys'. Anyway —

[ As Howl stands, the fresh champagne floats over to Amos' nightstand and clunks softly as it lands. ]

I'll let you get back to it. Shall I tell them to send another in?

[ That's not Amos' problem that Howl's bender was interrupted?? Now Howl's made it his problem— Though that sense of companionability does plenty to soften Amos in turn. Yeah, okay. He can start to be aware again of the fact that his actions might have an impact on others. It sucks, and it's annoying, but... yeah.

The second champagne bottle catches his eye; emphasis on friendly really seems to be something here, huh. Amos really, really can't argue with any of this, so he leans back against the pillows, looking up at Howl. ]

Think this is it for me for the night.

[ He'll finish off the champagne, a nice little night cap, warm and light and hopefully something that'll remind him to be less of an ass. At least to people who are understanding. So, ]

Thanks. For — [ he vaguely waves his hand. The champagne, covering his shit, the recommendation for a time when he's got his shit together — ] all this. I owe you one.

[ Or two, or three, or... who knows, really. But yeah, if there's something Howl needs whenever Amos has decided to be a person again, he'll help him out with it. You know. When he's actually capable. ]

It was my pleasure.

[ There's a glint in Howl's eye as he moves towards the door — he likes the sound of that I owe you one, but he chooses to tuck it into the back of his mind for now. After all, he isn't done for the night, and he's eager to return to his room. ]

Rest easy, yes? [ Placing a hand to his chest and bowing slightly at the waist, he opens the door to reveal two brothel workers huddled in the hallway, immediately looking mortified to be caught snooping. Howl simply smiles at them as they scatter and try to pretend that isn't what they were doing; without looking back, he shuts the door behind him and his footsteps fade in the direction of his room. ]

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[open] you know what your problem is?

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none of u can see that format fail halfway thru my last tag. it isnt real 🙂

nobody saw nothin' (deadass i actually didn't...)

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