aionlogs | Open Log ➵

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Open Log ➵

WHO: Hayame and YOU(?!)
WHAT: centaur cryptid action, the angriest breeding season ever, archery, a local lurker probably yelling at kids to get off her misty lawn and stop trying to care about her
WHERE: Lohkimareen [Greentruth heights, misty depths, and forest's edge]
WHEN: Beginning of Visoseri (June)
WARNINGS: potential suicidal ideation, mentions of csa, violence, estrus

01 ➵ IN MISTS [FORESTS BELOW GREENTRUTH]➵ 霧の靡に

[The Aions have been provided lodging among the tall, fortified trees of Greentruth... But one potential member of the Pleroma group has not made use of them a single night. In fact, for the more observant types... the centaur who had been among their number that first night through the portal from Godsblood, who had hung around the edges of the welcome banquet silent, brooding, and angrily eavesdropping... has barely been seen since.

There are whispers, though, the occasional bit of gossip amongst the natives. A man who often works one of the freight elevators that transports supplies up from caravans on the forest floor who complains about an occasional extra load who doesn't even tip. Merchants who talk about being watched by a strange monster or spirit in the mist, shaped like some unnatural combination of mount and man. An armorer who laments that as much as they ought to aid the Aions in their mist, there is just this one who keeps taking shortbows- what is she doing to them?

And if someone were to actually seek out that woman... The search will take them to the dangerous mists below the safety of the Greentruth trees, where shadows play across the mist and large beasts roam. But amongst the tracks left behind by reptiles are faint imprints of hoof, there is a hollow tree that seems to have been made into some sort of crude shelter, game hanging to dry high off the ground and half-prepared pelts stretched out over makeshift racks, and when you turn around-

There might be an arrowhead embedded in a tree near your face, the arrow shaft quivering with the force that has punctured the bark.]

02 ➵ FLETCHER [GREENTRUTH, NEAR GODSBLOOD PORTAL]➵ 矢作り

[There is a downside to the intense aversion Hayame feels to using her shard for so-called "communion". Mainly... she has refused the easy way to know where people are across the planet. To her it is normal, coming as she did from a world in the year 1590 where the most advanced technology consisted of woodblock printing, looms, and matchlock rifles, but...

It means she does a lot of waiting in exchange for trying to keep people out of her head, where she has so much less control than she would like people to think. Risk emotion bleed with inexperience into a conversation that, if held in person, she'd at least be able to control? She does not fancy it.

And in waiting for the man she has commissioned a bow from to appear from Godsblood... she stands (glowers) near the portal from the coastal town, hands crossed beneath her tightly bound breasts. After a few hours... she begins to resent herself for the wasted time, and right there, her large body taking up a decent amount of space near the portal...

She just commandeers a table and starts to work, pulling a feathered kill from its place hanging at her harness and beginning to pluck feathers off it right there, squinting at each one and beginning to cut them into arrow fletching. Sorry, did you need to get past her? Wondering why she's still standing there?

She isn't volunteering. She's working.]

03 ➵ NATURAL DESIRE [RIVER NEAR GREENTRUTH]➵ 発情期

[Hayame has always resented the fact that she was born a woman.

From the moment she had been old enough to watch the empty shell of an Armless woman that was her dam be led to the mounting post each year and understand why, she had known what women were best suited for in a breeding stable. Even as she trained herself in bow and polearm and blade, threw her entire effort into making herself a warrior who would be bought by a warlord to bring him victories in battle, the possibility of being sold as a broodmare or "companion" mount had always been a possibility. Always.

And nothing was a better reminder of the femininity she strove to cover with bindings, strength, and harshness than a jinba mare's heats. The urges frustrate her as they always do, turn normal scents in the air to tempting aromas, make her body into a traitor willing to lift her tail with interest at the sight of potential mates, and force her to burn with desire that anyone with a proper nose or eye would notice.

Which is what has led Hayame to the cold mountain river she is now immersed in up to her lower shoulders, letting the water wash away proof of her want and cool her body. Thinking herself alone... she allows herself the luxury of a moment of weakness, letting down her fetlock-length ebony hair and trying to work her fingers through the tangled strands that have grown difficult to handle without her master's women to provide oils and comb.

The sounds of the water, unfortunately, mean that she is somewhat unprepared for visitors. Her bow and knife, however... are still within reach.]

04 ↣ WILDCARD ↣ 鬼札

[Hit my plotting comment/send a PM/hit me up on

stormcoming if you'd prefer a starter or want to discuss a specific thread you'd like to do!]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ The Man-Dog here spends most of his time within the city of Godsblood, excepting a recent lengthy stay at Venera that lasted some time after most of the Aions had already departed. While he's spent a good chunk of his life out in the wilderness as well, he's always found he thrives in bustling cities full of people. With skills that veer more towards the communications side of things, there's not a lot of reasons for him to wander out into the wilds this way.

Except...

Except he'd been working with Himeka for away to kick off and establish a spice trade from these woods and Godsblood. Though he'd must rather have Himeka and all of the rebels gather up the spices for him, there were murmurs and questions raised over his ability to bring in such rare and hard to find spices from so far away, so it behooved him to disappear from time to time.

He didn't even have to pretend to be venturing all the way into the woods himself, but if he could make it seem like he was traveling to a village near Godsblood in order to conduct his trade, then people would be less likely to question him when he showed up several days later with spice in tow.

But if he was going to be away pretending he was doing work to throw suspicion off himself, he might as well use the portal to go all the way to Greentruth and actually do a little spice gathering too.

That's what he's doing now as he makes his way along the river; his eyes are peeled for a specific plant that grows well on riverbanks, and can be dried and ground into something very tangy tasting.

Ernesto is absorbed enough in this work that he doesn't actually notice Hayame at first himself as he stoops down, brows furrowed while he scans the ground, which keeps his eyes off of the water. ]

[ there are, of course, much safer and simpler places for one to take a walk to 'clear their head', as it were. it begs the question of why Abel is here out of the lot of them, lingering among the shadowy mist filled with threats just as liable to kill him as any other man on the forest floor. (or woman, as it were.)

regardless of his reasons for this odd excursion, Hayame will find her shot - tried and true and too close for comfort - buried into the thick bark of the tree behind Abel's head; an inch or two further? he'd be pushing up daisies. (do daisies grow in Horos...? --what an idle thought; maybe he should keep his head in the game at present--) it seems he is, at the least, very aware of how close he'd come to losing his noggin for the way he has bodily frozen, the hood of his cloak fallen back and away from the momentum of her shot. blue eyes have flown wide in surprise, his foot sliding back just a step in his startlement-- ]

[ ...and then,

a rapid recognition settles over him much like one hearing the tolling of the bells upon realizing their imminent demise

as he realizes whose 'territory' he has haplessly stumbled into............

ah. ]

I... suppose. This, ah. Means you're-- s-still quite angry with me, then, that's... understandable. Understandable; unfortunate, yes. --And understandable. Very understandable, mm.

( it's not the first time yuuta has gone looking for hayame, but it's maybe the second or third time he's really gone looking for her. in the weeks leading up to this decision he had bundled the intention to try to find her with excursions largely pinioned on different goals: getting a lay of the land, general exploration, taking a look at the local flora and fauna, maybe even trying to gather useful resources and supplies that had been pointed out to him by those more familiar with the area... even keeping an eye out for her, he never found anything. he started to get worried. there's a lot about her disposition that reminds him of maki, and thinking about his friend, he knows she would hate it if he came looking for her out of worry (hell, she'd probably beat him up for it), but... he just can't seem to quiet the little voice of concern clamoring in his head, so out he goes! off to try and find a centaur woman in an primordial forest that does not want to be found.

other jujutsu sorcerers might have had an easier time tracking her down, opening their awareness for any sense of the cursed energy that all sapient creatures hold in their hearts — a coal at the center of their being that burned with all of the fear, despair, guilt, shame, and anger that would have given rise to cursed spirits in his own world. one of the major drawbacks of yuuta's "bottomless" cursed energy is that it completely blows out his "radar," so to speak. so he tracks the old fashioned way, even if it is with all the clumsiness of a bespoke city boy trying to find tracks and evidence of someone living down here in the forest.

it's sheer luck that leads him on the correct path. he finds the game trail first, a line worn through the forest underneath greentruth by hundreds if not thousands of herds of the reptilian megafauna that populate these jungles. he follows it, telling himself at least he found the tracks of something out here, but after five or so minutes he stops dead — cut far more sharply into the soft loam is the telltale imprint of a hoof, set out in stark contrast to the softer impressions of feet and claws. yuuta's eyes go wide, and he looks around, finding another and another. soon that trail leads him to a hollow that looks very much lived in — a success! she might not be "home," but it definitely seems to be the place that she's been living!

...yuuta! behind you!

rika's warning sends a shiver of alarm down his spine; he moves on instinct, both leaping back from where he'd been standing and twisting around in the direction that rika had detected someone's approach. doing so gives him a perfect view of an arrow that goes streaking right past his nose to embed itself with a reverberating twang into the bark of a nearby tree, just a foot or two away from him and right behind where he'd been standing a second before. his heart races, his narrow chest rising and falling with rapid breath — on secondary instinct, he immediately begins to reinforce his body with cursed energy. )

H - Hayame-san?! ( he knows where the arrow came from, but with the dense foliage all around, he can't necessarily see her. he does know where she is roughly, given that rika is keeping fiercely close tabs on her. the cursed apparition actually wants very much to manifest a hand to reach out and snap the bow in her hands, but yuuta beseeches her mentally to hold off. he raises his hands slowly, indicating surrender. ) I'm sorry, I didn't really mean to surprise you by dropping in unannounced, but, um, haha... you make it very hard to get a hold of you...!

[Hayame has never considered herself to be someone that others seek out.

She has always known what she was, and how she was. She held no delusions about her manners and how they might come off to others, and she had no regrets for them either- she was (trying to be) a warrior, someone cold and stalwart, serious and silent… Not the sort of person you enjoyed chatting with. Not even someone you’d want take tea with, or view the cherry blossoms with, or even… care about. But that was fine. It had been fine once.

So the idea that someone might be looking for her? She suspects foul things from the moment she hears the snap of branch and approach of someone from the wood, she arms herself in preparation for defense or barking dismissal… and she sent her warning.

Once he turns, though, and she sees the face… She remembers. “Yuuta”. The bridge sorcerer. Supposedly someone… on her side. If she were to choose this… “side”.

Slowly, the paltry shortbow still held at the ready and an arrow notched on the sinew string, Hayame emerges into view from the shadows of the underbrush. She looks… worse, than the last time they met. Her dun coat had begun to look a bit dull, her hooves are cracked, and the bones of ribs and shoulder have become more prominent.

But she still looks just as proud, and just as angry. Both were enough to cover her confusion. Because why-]

What business do you have with me?

[Nevermind the arrow quivering in the tree trunk.]

[ When you spend half of your time with the people of Greentruth you pick up on things. Whispers of things they don't understand from the forest floor below or, eventually, the whispers being a person. An Aion. Hiccup had considered going down there and checking up, but it seemed just as likely right now that he was being saved the trip.

He doesn't go to Godsblood often, but having returned some hours before to the glowering horse-person with a satchel of supplies he couldn't help but notice her. A strange mixture of concern and apprehension, but not enough to either bother her or stop for — Until later when he's passing on through again, in the general area — not intentional, really, and he sees her.

Except now she's just kind of made this place her home and doesn't look to be keen on moving anytime soon. He tilts his head to his side before approaching, he allows for some spacing as he asks: ]

Don't you think you should... I don't know, ask before you steal someone's whole table?

[ There's a touch of reprimand in his tone, but mostly it's just confused at the necessity. ]

[The flush of the river might do something to dilute her own musk, the way that many a jinba had tried to avoid keen-nosed hunting dogs when attempting escape from her master's breeding stable... But it did nothing to disguise the scents on the wind from outside of the water. Hayame doesn't want to... but she notices.

The smell of a man.

Also... the small of a dog.

And as tempting as it was to reach for her bow (her third, she's cracked and broken the others) or her knife nearby on the rocks... The only good thing (hah) about being the only jinba in this place had been that as long as she avoided horses she should also avoid most olfactory notice... But what if that man had the nose of a dog as well?

Hayame swallows her shame... and tries to move as silently through the river as she can, mane and tail leaving inky trails behind as she attempts to creep behind the rocks.]

[Abel is a very unfortunate man. Perhaps he might think himself lucky because he avoided getting shot by mere inches, but that was not luck that was precision and design on Hayame's part, intending to warn first instead of kill. He is unfortunate because the woman whose territory he has stumbled in to, unwitting or no, is a woman in heat, and he smells...

Good. So good that it makes her want to move her bow a few inches to the right and let the hand carved arrowhead puncture the thick bone of his brow.

Emerging from the thick undergrown is first a cracked and damaged hoof, a slender dun fetlock, and then the woman comes into sight, looking... Far worse than she had when they had met, in that Godsblood safehouse. SInce then, she seems to have lost enough weight for her equine ribs and shoulders to grow bony and prominent, her coat and mane to begin to dull.

But the capacity in her eyes for offense and rage seem to burn as bright as ever. He stumbles and stutters through his speech again, and she leaves him waiting for a word, an arrow still notched on the string until-]

What are you doing here?

[Not many people have tried speaking to Hayame since she set up shop near the portal. Not even quite intentionally, she has what many might call a resting bitch face, one that could compete with the best in the world... and one that is even more dour than usual, thanks to her growing frustration and realization that if she wished to meet with the person she hoped to see then she might need to reach into her body and pull a shard of crystal out of it.

But for now, she resists the unnatural action and the magic that might lay bare her emotions or thoughts in ways she did not actually intend, still unused to controlling the communion. The few people who have attempted conversation have left very quickly after trying, and this time-

Hayame lifts her head from her work, skilled, calloused hands continuing to pluck the bird even while looking at this... man. This man who seems to think, what- ? That he owns this area of the trees? Even just the tiniest touch of reprimand in his tone is enough to set her jaw to tightening.]

I have not stolen it, I am making use of something no one else was.

[The heavy sound of game meat slapping against the table accompanies her words, more pinions plucked from the feathered reptile-thing's body to hopefully soon grace a new batch of arrows.]

Do you claim it?

Edited 2022-06-19 01:32 (UTC)

[ Hayame's nose might be sharp enough to notice Ernesto from his spot on the riverbank, but his own nose is as dull as any other human. The dog features might hint at some extraordinary senses, but for the most part his anatomy isn't too terribly strange, and his sense of smell isn't anything to write home about.

His hearing though? That's another matter. He has four separate, fully-functioning ears, and two of those are actually dog-like in nature. While he might not smell the heat scent radiating off of Hayame from this distance, he sure as hell hears the ripping in the water. Considering these woods are dino-central? He's fast to whip his head around to check out the source of the noise.

And that's when he spots a deceptively human looking head in the water, though he misses the tail. They're probably swimming just fine, but just to make sure... ]

Hey! You alright in there?

[At this depth, only the more human-looking parts of her body are visible at first glance, her heavier lower body become shadows under the water's surface and hints of black tail flowing in the current. The face though, even though its flushed with heat... Well, maybe it's more the bark in her voice that might give it away.]

I am perfectly fine! Mind your own business!

[She'd been so close to the rocks... but now, if she continued towards them, it might look as if she were trying to hide away like some sort of cowardly maiden... But where is she supposed to go instead? Just- just stand there? Annoyed, her heat making her even more quick to frustrate, Hayame glares at him from the water, her clothing clinging wet and revealing, her long black hair slicking to her skin like some sort of bitchy Lady Godiva.]

[ ...and just like that, Hayame's emergence has all signs of the usual idiotic facade dissolving with suddenness.

Abel's countenance conveys nothing but a stark concern and disbelief; her condition is... deplorable, and for her to have sunken to this state means she has been neglecting herself since her arrival. this isn't the damage of a few days worth of ill care and it speaks to a deep-rooted problem, one that must have wormed its way through her upon waking in the Shrine. ]

Are you-- alright? Ah, you're...

[ ...he trails off, the furrow at his brow deepening as he gently, slowly, holds his hands up in a placating gesture. ]

[Abel is not incorrect. The condition of the jinba mare in front of him is not something that occurred in mere days. Though the roots were planted the moment she was "born" into a world her mind struggled to even accept as real, it began in earnest on her long trek back over land and water and mountain from the city of Venera, something that had cost her nearly two weeks' time in her attempt to avoid the horrors of teleportation. Once the shortbow too weak for her draw strength had broken midway, she had been left unable to hunt, surviving only barely through stubbornness and foraging, but even after she finally made it back to Greentruth...

She hasn't found anything yet worth living for.

And after speaking to the so-called leader of the resistance, the Aion who said that she had been here for years and years, that there was no way back to their worlds that she knew of...

What was the point? To eating. To combing her mane. To oiling her hooves. To trying to eat enough to get the weight back on her bones. To taking care of herself. To all of it.]

I said "what are you doing here"?

[Her voice doesn't crack, though, when she repeats her demand, hating the concern she sees in the whoremonger's eyes. Hating the fact that she was such a coward that she was still alive to see it.]

I'm-- I'm heading back to the settlement, but...

[ why he's here isn't important. has she been making due outside of the comforts of Greentruth or Godsblood all this time--? Abel doesn't move, doesn't test his fortune (or lack thereof) by attempting to approach her; he remains still for now. but it's impossible to miss the light of that worry alight in blue eyes. ]

...I feel that's a question much better asked of you.

[ he bobs his head cautiously toward her make-shift living arrangements.

Hayame... this, she can't truly be planning to live this way, can she...? ]

[ Scouting the right place to set up the planned... event that Akua was putting together for later meant she needed to travel between the two cities frequently. Between working for both shelter and sustenance -- and trying to plan something for the mages among them, Akua's traveling back and forth almost daily.

Coming through the Portal, she had her head buried in a few papers, ideas and sketches all before her, a floating array of them, spread out like a tableau before her. She's arranging them with gentle gestures of her hands, not really paying attention to the space immediately in front of the portal --

Which means that it's a flurry of paper and human that bump into Hayame's haunches. She's startled enough that her papers drop to the ground, and she took a step back, and narrowed her eyes.

Ah. Well. ]

Quite the welcoming committee for me today, hm?

[Heading back to the settlement, he says, and Hayame cannot help but be suspicious. She had chosen an out-of-the-way location on purpose, somewhere hard to locate and easily defensible, so unless he claimed to have gotten hopelessly lost and simply arrived here by luck...

But perhaps for a man like this... It isn't entirely unbelievable.

It is hard to for her to see worry in the eyes of another. She is so unused to receiving it that it is difficult to even identify, to parse from more negative emotions like disdain or lack of faith, and even once she did- to trust it? There is a long moment where she just continues to glare at him, her grip tight on the cracked haft of her bow, before finally-]

And what would you have me do?

[She doesn't know his name. He doesn't know hers. She had left him whimpering and crying on the floor last they met, so why if he wasn't simply trying to rub things in-]

Live in that city by the sea where I will be gawked at like a freak each day?

[He and almost all of the other Pleroma blended just fine from what she could see, but her?]

Live in the trees like a monkey, where I must calculate whether the bridges and crossings will bear my weight?

[She's waiting for his answer.]

...This isn't your home. This... it isn't your world, and to make matters even more difficult - you are the only one like you in it. I understand that you feel terribly out of place and that it hasn't been easy.

[ contrary to their last meeting, his tone is steady and there is a sharpness behind the sit of the glasses on his face. he is watching her with an astuteness, an acuity, that cannot be faked.

there is a time for all things. here and now, as she is in this moment - there is no room for the usual circus act. that is no use to her, is it? no, what Hayame needs is something else entirely. ]

But this isn't forever. I promise you, until we find our way out of this - we can help you. As much as the situation at Godsblood or even Greentruth might not be ideal... can you truly tell me this is any better?

[ Ah....

Yeah, he recognizes that voice. It's kind of hard not to, even though their interaction was brief. Hayame was very... memorable. ]

Aha... Sorry, Señorita. I didn't realize it was you. I'm sure you can swim just fine.

[ Assuming she'd even need to. There's a good chance those hooves are reaching the bottom of the river, huh? There's a few seconds where Ernesto looks the water in front of Hayame curiously, trying to gauge just how deep it is, considering it looks like she's standing still.

And then it hits him as he stares at the area immediately around her, that it looks like he's staring at her, and the lady happens to be wearing some very clingy clothing at the moment. He also remembers how mortified she'd been to even admit to having breasts that needed binding to begin with, so he probably shouldn't be doing that.

Without trying to make a big deal of it, he looks away back to the shoreline where he was searching for plants a moment before. ]

You don't have to mind me then. I'll just go back to my business.

[ Which unfortunately for her means he's not planning on leaving.

He has absolutely no idea how awkward a position he's putting her in by doing that. ]

I know this isn’t my home.

[She cannot help but snap it back at him like he is a fool, like she resents that he even felt the need to say it. Of course it wasn’t. Of course she feels even more… even more alienated and alone than perhaps most of the number brought to this place, because at least they had others who looked like them. Of course she hates herself for even beginning to almost acknowledge that it hasn’t been easy for her.

To bare is to be weak. To be weak is to die. But despite her best efforts not one of the Kenoma she had engaged in Venera had been able to kill her, and she yet lived… she even had the audacity to hope enough to-

Promises. He promises.]

Have you spoken to her. The woman that is the so-called leader of this place?

[It might not have seemed possible, but her eyes are even colder and her tone is even sharper as she asks that question, staring back at him defiantly as if to reject the attempt to understand her.]

Have you?

...Miss Tehri?

[ Hayame's anger is understandable; it also speaks to what lies beneath it: pain. it is something that binds her to so many other Aions in Horos even if she might not be willing to acknowledge such commonality as she is now. it's alright; she doesn't have to. he sees it, even if he knows better than to draw attention to this fact aloud it isn't important to voice it.

she burns with righteous anger, hatred, because she is in agonizing pain. ]

I have.

[ he does not prod or probe for more, waits for her to guide him where she wishes to go on this point. ]

And did you ask her?

[Despite her best efforts, her determination to remain strong, Hayame’s voice cracks just as noticeably as the bow in her hand had. After daring to hope that she might hear something, anything that might make her allegiances more sure-]

Did you ask her how long she had been in this accursed place? How many years there has been to find a way back to our worlds?

[How many years that no one… no one at all had found.]

[ the crease at his brow deepens further still at that, and God help him... the sight of her like this makes his chest physically tight, ache with a visceral sort of pain.

...his hands slowly fall where he had been holding them aloft in some offer of peaceable offering. ]

Do you have something you need to return to...?

[ unfinished business? ...someone waiting for her?

suppose he is answering a question with a question; maybe that is an answer itself. Abel knows just as Hayame does that Tehri's response to that inquiry... was disheartening at best.

close to a century. close to a hundred years, here.

it is a hard pill to swallow. ]

...It's a punch in the gut, I know. But her experience-- it doesn't have to be our own. Things are already different, this time.

[Hope does not come naturally to Hayame. She had learned as soon as she was old enough to hold a training bow and watch the broodmare that had borne her be led off to the mounting post each season that the only way for her in the world was to either succeed and become a warrior who might at least be considered near-a-person or fail and become a horse used for breeding or riding, perhaps even lose her arms in the process.

And hope had no place there. There was no time to dream of freedom or imagine a life where she might be her own person when every moment was spent furthering the best outcome that seemed realistic, to become so strong and so loyal that she would be sold at auction to a great warlord who might make of her a soldier. Even when she had been offered freedom, when it had been right in front of her face... the idea of hoping it could actually happen, after all those years and all she'd known-

The whoremonger asks her if she has something she needs to return to, and Hayame burns with an all-to-familiar mix of anger and shame, so deep and so ingrained that she does not know how to feel it.

She cannot answer him. She cannot tell this man who to her has been nothing but a pathetic heap on a floor that she has to go home to sacrifice her life, to cleanse her dishonor, to do-

To do the one thing that might ever be considered "good" in her entire life. To leap into the arms of the man she wishes she'd been hopeful enough to love and ignite the gunpowder hidden in his clothing.]

What?

[She hates it. That this man before her now still tries to offer her hope when it had only ever betrayed her. She had just started to hope that freedom might be possible, and then her master and all his men had arrived with a hunting party in tow, all through fault of her own. She had dared to hope that an audience with Tehri might provide her with some reason to commit to this cause and stop feeling so lost, and her answer had been a century. A century of no way home.]

What is so different this time, that you can stand there and promise me such a thing? Who are you to promise me that?

[ she does not answer.

there is something binding her to the wish to return home - something that goes beyond the simplicity of yearning for the comfort of familiar things. is it a person she yearns for...? family? a duty? an obligation? a mission she feels the intense need to see through?

he doesn't know, but as long as there is something - it's enough.

he takes a slow, cautious step toward her. there is no fear in his eyes, no trepidation; instead, a firmness, a resolve remains in their place-- obscured and overshadowed only by the intensity of his stark concern for her. ]

What is the alternative? Are you willing to accept that this is it? That you and I are simply trapped here for the rest of our days to live and die away from everything we love, from those who love us, who wait for us to come home?

[ another slow, unwavering step. ]

...You aren't so weak. I see it in you-- I see it. The fire that's kept you alive through what might've crushed a lesser woman. And... it would be insulting to you if I were to accept it's gone out like this. It hasn't, has it?

[She wants to step back.

There is something in him that is so changed from the person she encountered in that safehouse in Godsblood that he appears almost a completely different man. What she hates most of all is that in this moment... She thinks of Matsukaze. How sure and quietly confident he was in those Hayame herself had lost faith in. She remembers listening from behind the tree as he had gently coaxed a boy that she had called a demon back from the brink, and left him weeping in his arms.

She misses Matsukaze. She misses her brother. The only people in the entire world who had ever believed in her.

Her grip spasms on the cracked bow so tightly that the crack gains another inch in length.]

You don't know me at all-

[She starts with the accusation, because the accusation is familiar. She whips the bow out between them as if to use it to keep him physically distant, to stop his approach towards her. And like she always does... she throws out the most damning and aggressive words she can think of, the ones that usually send people running with their tails between their legs.]

I am not weak. None of those so-called Kenoma could kill me, even ruined by that "Innocence"! None of them!

[Not that giant with the scythe, the cat-man with the gun, the brat who made holes in the earth... So that fire must be bright. And why did that matter? Because as much as she desired death over the idea of living forever in this world, of not being able to return to her own... She also desired an honorable one. Like she still deserved honor.]

But I will slit my own belly open before I grow old in this hell. Rest assured.

[... and a part of her thinks. If she was stronger, she would have done it already. But instead, she had hoped. And look what that got her. Standing in a misty forest a nearly a hundred pounds lighter than she should be, having an intense misunderstanding with a man over what the "fire to live" meant.]

Edited 2022-06-20 06:34 (UTC)

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