aionlogs | Overcoming the Light

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Overcoming the Light

WHO: Himeka and Emet-Selch (And guest?!)
WHAT: Clarifying Ingame happenings
WHERE: The Wanderer Shrine
WHEN: Dated to 7/01
WARNINGS: Game Spoilers I guess?

After a concise message with a location and time, all he can do is arrive and see if she decides to join him there. Her attendance is certainly not assured.

It is not beyond him that someone could reasonably think of the invitation as a trap given what happened in Venera, or that the opposite could hold true and she would gather allies to use this to her advantage. (As uncharacteristic as that could seem...) Perhaps the information is something that would no longer be as freely given. Yet even with those very realistic possibilities, here he stands, waiting in the shadows just outside the Shrine watching as the minutes tick by.

"Come, my friend, you've stood there brooding for quite some time. Why not sit for a while?" A voice, haunting and strange, calls from somewhere nearby.

Emet-Selch glances behind him to where a large robed figure sits. Their featureless face is obscured by a white mask but there still seems to be something welcoming in the way that they beckon for Emet-Selch to sit at their side. This 'Shade' had kept him company in the days following Venera as he looked to reconcile his experiences. Where they had come from is a mystery, but their presence is welcome all the same.

He walks over and quietly seats himself at the Shade's behest. His head narrowly reaches the Shade's elbow as he sits.

"Good." The strange droning voice lilts up as if to indicate approval. "Now, rest. So that you may be better prepared for any new challenges which come your way."

Emet-Selch leans back against the tree behind him and he lets his eyes fall close. Perhaps he could afford a moments rest. Though he is not careless enough to do so without an intentional conjuring of shielding magic.

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What happened in Venera feels like a lifetime ago and yesterday at the same time. That both sects could gather with a common purpose, albeit with separate motives, had seemed like it could be a point that would bring them together. Hells, she's conversed and worked alongside the Kenoma without incident, until...

Well.

Until a few had taken advantage of the situation and her friend's worsening condition. Himeka herself had nearly succumb to the allure of a blessed nothingness a few times during her stay, but never fully. Someone had always been there to remind her of her purpose, to inflict a pain deeper than the numbness. But Estinien has had a target on his back for some time now. That he was singled out wasn't surprising.

That they would take it so far to the point of his death was. A chilling realization--nay, a reminder that not all will be willing to see eye-to-eye. And Himeka had nearly repaid the young man in kind.

Surely word of some of those exploits had made it back to the others, to the Regent? A part of her is a little surprised that Emet-Selch had reached out, if a little because she'd been so distracted with everything else that's happened she almost forgot she'd agreed to meet with him again. Circumstances...have changed. There are gaps that she still believes bridges can be built over, but her faith is less strong. And she's less sure of herself being able to lead by example.

Himeka doesn't respond to the invitation. She takes a moment to commune with the tree they inhabit instead, a large old thing that she's found a steady and calm presence within. It ebbs some of her worries for the moment, at least long enough for Himeka to take her leave.

The Shrine of the Wanderer, still on the edges of the forest, looks much as the rest of Lohkimareen does. But what has changed from last time is not one but two figures nearby. She's immediately struck by the shade--Hythlodaeus? It has to be--and it's as if she's back in the shadows of Amaurot all over again. That he would recreate them here...--not just in Horos, but here, now? Surely this is intentional, isn't it?

She looks around as if either expecting other Kenoma to appear or mayhaps more shades and the trees to turn into dark towers with dimly lit streets. A few quiet moments and none of those come to pass. A relief, to be sure. Yet when she turns her gaze back on Emet-Selch and his companion, she knows what she wants to do.

Quietly, Himeka walks over and takes a spot on the opposite side of the shade.

There is no reason to be cautious, so Hythlodaeus lets this stranger sit by his side with nothing more than a curious tilt of his head. "Hello there." He offers in greeting. Though his long and drawn-out tones drone on, there is something truly welcoming within his 'words'.

He glances at his side where Emet-Selch sits propped up against a tree. There is a silent expectation for him to say something as well; however, one can observe Emet-Selch's head tilted slightly to one side, eyes closed, and steady breaths. He'd dozed off while they waited.

Hythlodaeus glances back to the woman at his side. "I ask that you pardon my friend here. It seems he's unwittingly taken my advice on resting to heart." So he motions to her with a hand. "Now. Who might you be?"

It is reminiscent of when she settled in on those much too large benches in the Bureau. (That Emet-Selch would make sure that bureaucracy was faithfully recreated is now an amusement that isn't lost on her.) She can't really see Emet-Selch well on the other side of Hytholodaeu's own form, but it isn't a stretch of the imagination that he's nodded off properly. She's caught him doing the same on one or two occasions back on the First.

Things did seem...simpler then, oddly enough. Who would have thought life could have gotten more complicated than traveling to a reflection of your world to save the inhabitants there and rejoining with a piece of her own soul?

Himeka looks up at the shade and manages a private smile. This version doesn't know her? Well...that's just fine. There's a reason for it, she wagers. (Maybe to distance Emet-Selch from everything else that happened?)

"A new old friend."

She pulls her knees up to her chest.

"My name is Himeka."

"Oh? So you're the one we've been waiting for." He sits up a little straighter, as if taken aback by the explanation. "My name is Hythlodaeus. A pleasure to meet you." He considers the words a little further. As much as a Shade with his limited wherewithal can consider such words. "Or should I say it's a pleasure to meet you 'again'...?"

There is no room for reply; On the other side of the Shade comes a deep yawn accompanied by a sharp exhale. It seems the movement and brief conversation are enough to coax the sleeping Ascian awake from his short rest, and he wearily looks out on the forest in front of them. Calm. Peaceful. It seems like a moment of respite.

Emet-Selch puts a hand to his forehead and rubs at the crease between his brows. "It's moments like this in which one must wonder if the concept of punctuality has truly departed this world." He yawns. "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show at all."

His shade had been a strange but welcome companion in the reflection of Amaurot, yet meeting the man both on the moon and in Elpis had cemented that fondness. There are certain things she would like to remember of the days long past. Himeka supposed she had some of those all neatly wrapped within Azem's crystal, but she had never dared to do more than use the invocation to summon others. A part of her was still...worried.

But that's neither here nor there. She's smiling and ready to respond when the man who invited her here rouses with his usual decorum. Her smile fades a bit if at least because she knows that this exactly can't be a friendly chat.

If only he remembered.

"I'm a busy person, you know," she says as a way of excuse. And that's exactly how it reads--an excuse. When it matters she's a terrible liar. But there is a hint of truth in it regardless--things have been hectic since all that transpired in Venera and the last moon has been spent attending to Estinien, traveling about the forest on various quests, currying goods to Godsblood, training, and the like.

"Brave of you to nap in this forest. Did you know there are walking man-eating plants about?"

"Your concern is aptly touching." He responds flatly. Though now more awake, he looks out at the fauna and lets the quiet sit between them. The forest around the shrine is so tranquil. If only he could hold onto this brief moment of peace.

Emet-Selch's expression turns gradually more somber. When he finally does say something again, it's with a fond note of soft sentimentality that he rarely shows. "It's been an age since we've sat in the company of one another." He does not expect her to understand what he means while he briefly continues. "Countless nights past did we wait for our dear friend, who seemed nigh incapable of being on time."

His dear friends are finally together once more, though one a construct of his own creation and the other a mere pittance of their once bright soul. It is such a pitiful facsimile of what once was.

In the past, he would have found such a thing insulting and unacceptable. Now? Now he had nothing else. There were no shards filled with distantly known ruins, no traces of familiar aether, and he is blind to the souls he once found some comfort in seeing. All he can do is set aside such pride and revel in disgrace that this is all he holds dear. For even imitations could be so comforting to those who longed for them. Or those who have nothing else.

Emet-Selch gives an audible sigh. None of this was his intent for bringing them there. If he sat - if he dwelled more on the thoughts of their gathering - it would be too much to bear. So he moves on to their intended purpose and his voice changes to its usual authority to match. "My intention is to hear your recount of how you staved off the light. I hope that my efforts in coming here are not in vain?" There had been no agreement in their communion.

She may not remember, but she knows. She know nows of what he speaks, unable to forget the same sentimentality in Hythlodaeus' voice and face as he fondly regarded his bonds with both Emet-Selch and Azem. Though the Ancients viewed death in a very different way than mere mortals of the sundered world, his wish to exit this world and into the lifestream with them is something that has left a large impression on her. How close they were before.

Himeka is well-aware it's not her responsibility to make that up to him, but rather than regard Emet-Selch with her usual looks of confusion and mild curiosity when he speaks of older times, she has to look away.

(She has always worked best following her own whims and schedule. Has that never changed?)

His request is expected but Himeka isn't sure if she's prepared. Or, no, that isn't it--she isn't sure if he is prepared for the answer. She keenly recalls how the Emet-Selch of Elpis had handled the news of his future. What will this one think?

It's a considerable pause on her end, want as she is to fall into moments of quiet, but when she does answer, her voice is heavy.

"I'll tell you everything," she says, slowly lifting her gaze back to him. "I'm just not sure you really want to hear it."

Emet-Selch takes a deliberately slow breath in and exhales. "I have never been afforded the luxury of averting my eyes from the horrors of the world." He has seen and experienced countless to name, and being here would surely have him live through countless more. "Speak your piece and be done with it."

"Speak your and be done with it."

How can she really impress upon him the gravity of what he asks? But she did say that she would tell him and she's not the sort of woman to go back on her promises, no matter how painful they may be. He's bound to find out at some point. He's been suspicious of her from the start, that much she knows.

This...is kinder than ignorance. Isn't it?

Himeka turns her gaze away, looking off into the forest and away from Emet-Selch, if only to compose herself for a moment.

"...I'd found my shard on the First. Or rather, he found me. Long before our paths crossed."

Haunting a realm that couldn't see nor hear him, Ardbert had been just as surprised at the turn of events of Himeka. But he almost felt like an impartial third party to her struggles, so she listened to him and confided in him when she didn't feel she could face the other Scions. He'd seen things in many of the same ways she saw herself.

"I hadn't realized that's who he was at first." She can't see souls. Seto in particular was key in laying the groundwork for their connected fate. "But...he gave his strength to me when the time was right. He's part of me now."

Emet-Selch's tone as well as his expression lift. Finding the shard on the first and having its strength pool with hers meant that her soul edged ever closer to being whole again. "A broken soul, eight times rejoined." It's obvious words of delight.

"T'would mean edging ever closer to reaching your true potential, becoming whole once again as once was in the days of eld."

She can't look at him when he speaks, nearly joyful for the first time it's been in quite a while. Himeka should have cut right to the worst part, shouldn't she have? It will only make what comes next a harder blow to take.

She shakes her head. There's no sharing in the perceived triumph.

"It was only necessary to defeat you...Hades."

One could almost feel the joy being siphoned from the air, leaving a cold and icy quiet in its place.

Hythlodaeus turns his gaze to where his friend sits. He reaches out and softly places a hand on Emet-Selch's shoulder in quiet reassurance. It's a small gesture, but one that shows even a construct of his own making would recognize the significance of what was said.

What she said is such an innocuous thing. Short, simple, shocking at first given the use of his name, which gives it some sense of strange credibility. How could she know? Then the words sink deeper. The failure they imply. The loss they imply. The sacrifices, the sorrow, the people he would let down. That it would all be for nothing. It would mean that everything was for nothing.

That... he cannot accept.

Emet-Selch clenches his fists tightly in his lap. His voice, this time, sounds bitter and terse. "I can not be felled by the likes of you. You, but a mere glimmer of the former glory of our world. Weak, ignorant, short-sighted. An appalling disgrace in your fealty to suffering."

It's an expected response, but not one she enjoys to bear witness to all the same. The silence before he speaks is heavy but his words still find their mark. Himeka should be on guard--he's an enemy again, after all, no matter how many times they've met thus far and not traded blows. But Himeka didn't come here to attack him even if her own words hurt.

It's the truth...and that's what matters. No matter how ugly it is.

"Mayhaps."

She'll take the blows--he means them, she's sure, but she also knows they're wielded out of pain.

"But I did--...we did. Ardbert and I."

Because he deserves recognition. They are separate people with separate lives. Now he just continues with her.

"I saw you transform. Twice."

That is something that she knows only now is significant after her time in Elpis, but she refrains from mentioning that place at all. That would definitely be too much.

Finally, Himeka spares him a glance. She's far from gloating over her victory. Even at the time it had been tinged with a note of sadness. Not just because while she disagreed with his methods she understood Emet-Selch's reasons for what he did, but because she had genuinely believed he'd been a friend. At least once.

"I don't know why you don't remember. But Estinien remembers times that I don't, so..."

There must be some sort of...timeline inconsistency.

Again, more details she should not know. They adds more authenticity to the claim that feels so wrong. It, perhaps unintentionally, makes her words difficult to absorb with the weight of failure becoming more crushing as the moments tick by.

His face falls into a grimace. Not one out of anger, but like the words had inflicted an unseeable pain.

It could be difficult to carry on with the weight of duty. Still, all he had to do was bide his time and wait for the inevitable hubris of man to be their own downfall. Bear the weight a little longer and the shards would be rejoined. It was a distant hope, but it was there. Now those shards are gone. That hope is gone. Now those chances are gone. And the weight grows heavier still.

Until finally, it becomes unbearable.

After so many thousands of years of carrying it, the weight of responsibility, sadness, and grief comes crashing down. Emet-Selch puts a hand to his chest as he can feel the Kenoma begin to writhe like a monster that he can no longer contain. He coughs faintly, and the inky black spills out of his mouth. And that monster feeds on the endless pit of sadness and hopelessness that have amassed over the years.

He takes a steadying breath. "I will not allow it to be for nothing." He hisses bitterly.

Somehow, flying in the face of gravity itself, Emet-Selch forces his way to his feet. Hythlodaeus reaches for him and he is dismissed with a flick of the wrist. The shade vanishes in a plume of black smoke. Even looking at a shade of his friend after being told such a thing is far too much. "Not that I believe your foolish notions, but what you say would only prove that I am on the right path." He wipes at the corner of his mouth with two fingers.

"It would mean that this is my last chance and I should not squander it." One last chance to make it all right again. "So I will not squander it. I will tear down the sky to get them back, and if the sky proves not enough then this world shall burn in its wake." Destroying the Pleroma is the objective and it would be reached no matter how.

Emet-Selch throws her a look. There is something different about this. Something hurt, desperate, and angry. His voice raises. "I will see to it that hope is choked from your hearts as you fall one by one by one."

Waiting for his response, she thinks, will be harder than hearing it. (Oh how wrong she is.) But when Emet-Selch begins to cough and she sees familiar specks of black, Himeka straightens immediately.

Is he--is he rejecting it? Is this--somehow--?

Himeka doesn't even realize she's preparing a healing spell--it's automatic, especially after feeling that he's become something of ally again, at least back on their star. But the aether at her palms flashes out of existence the same moment that the shade of Hythlodaeus is banished from the scene and Emet-Selch begins to say all the things she had hoped she wouldn't hear.

The right path...

It isn't the first speech or declaration against her that she's heard, but she'd hoped that they were beyond this. Himeka knew it would be hard--he'd taken it all so poorly initially back in Elpis--but he'd also overcome it. Yet it feels as if the final blow she had dealt in that facsimile of Amaurot was somehow kinder than telling him of it here.

"Emet-Selch..."

She begins slowly, standing slowly as well, doing everything she can to not make herself an immediate threat.

"You don't have to do this. We don't have to do this. Not again. Please."

Emet-Selch slashes a palm through the air. "I will not give up on them. I cannot abandon the people and the world I love. No matter the cost."

Not something he commits to lightly. He learned of the detriments of the Kenoma in the Throne room: To further the Kenoma's power would stain their soul. Now it is the way forward - the only way forward, it seems.

His tone and expression turn dour. "I am no fool, I know what the Kenoma brings to those who bear its influence. It sullies the soul of its bearers in ways that I cannot foresee." Emet-Selch lifts a gloved palm so that he may look at it in consideration. His fingers ball slowly into a fist. No matter the cost, then. "If I must rend my soul asunder at the mercy of this thing for one final chance to save them, then that is what I must do."

His conviction isn't new to her, but seeing it renewed thusly is still a hallowing feeling. She thought that honesty would be the best she could offer him, but Himeka is wondering if lies would have been easier. He may have seen through them, but, maybe the ruse could have been kept for a little while longer.

He doesn't have the clarity of his memories...for once, their positions are wholly reversed.

"The Regent wants to undo it all!" She finally tries a plea to logic. "That won't break your people back. We can't change the past--" Even her own foray into the past became cyclical, a necessary agent for the future. "--but you can choose to be part of the present!"

Emet-Selch can feel an age-old anger and sorrow creep up within him. These words remind him of the same point of contention in the days of antiquity - with the very same Primal that gifted her the accursed blessing of light. She, too, had pleaded for a world without further sacrifice. She had asked him to abandon so many for the 'present' world. How frustratingly alike they could be.

"I have tried to live side by side with those in your 'present' only to be met with disappointment." His face twists into disdain as he speaks with such palpable contempt. "Why should I sacrifice so many and so much for those who do not deserve my charity?"

Both his hands tighten into fists. "Make me your villain if you like, for even if it means unraveling this world at the Regent's behest, I cannot abandon them." All those precious souls who were so dear to him, unique in their color and luster, had been swallowed whole by what consumed their world. Save for one. The one that stood here with him in the shadow of this shrine. The most precious - and yet broken - thing to him in this world.

Emet-Selch pays her a longing look. One that silently pleads with her to understand. "I will bring them back. I will bring you back, no matter the cost."

So he turns and makes to leave her in peace. The next time they meet would not be so amicable.

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Overcoming the Light

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🙃 /stares distantly into the sun

this is fine 1/2

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so proud of her for breaking him with #spoilers

This is why you can't spoil entire expacs!! 😔