[ She would much, much rather hear more about his world. Even were the subject matter different she is endlessly more curious about what she hasn't seen or experienced than sharing her own tales. But Abel is the kind of person who wants to understand and listen and, apparently, isn't feeling up to indulging those questions right now.
It's her first real regret. It's soothed a bit with time, with circumstance and some work, but she isn't sure it will ever fully be healed. And maybe that's for the best. There's guilt that she should carry with her and understanding that the choices she makes have consequences that you cannot take back.
The hand on her shoulder isn't unwelcome but it feels undeserved. Of course he wouldn't know why. Does he deserve to know why? Maybe she does have a confession she didn't intend to make.
So she nods, forcing herself to make eye contact. ]
And it wasn't even for a good reason.
[ Her gaze falters for a moment as she sucks her lower lip in, then sighs. She had only explained the bare minimum as was required to both Alisaie and Lyse when the time came to travel to Sui-no-Sato and spoke nothing to the other Scions later when she would make frequent visits to Tanamizu to help out with Kurenai's requests. Putting it all into words isn't something she's really planned on doing. ]
I wasn't the first to leave... Others have long before my time, but the idea came to me after watching another woman my own age leave. Except she left because she knew, rightfully, that hiding would not save us from the eventuality of conflict. So she went to go fight in the war that enveloped our neighbors above in hopes that it could end before it ever found our village.
[ Yugiri is a remarkable person. Truly remarkable. Himeka had been both surprised and ashamed when their paths crossed again. Though it seemed they were both working towards a similar cause now and she was eventually able to help Yugiri in her mission, it was Yugiri whose pure ambitions and selfless acts should be lauded. Moments like those made her feel very undeserving of the esteem she's gained as the Warrior of Light. Why wasn't Yugiri chosen instead?
(She has theories now but that is far too complicated and she still hates the idea of fate.) ]
...I'm immensely lucky that I can call her a friend and ally these days. And I can also say that everything she fought for came true.
[ Doma did indeed earn it's freedom, but not because of Himeka--because of the will of it's people and the combined efforts of those who refused to give up even in the face of adversity. She is still glad she could play a part, no matter what size. ]
I had no such noble intentions. I left because I was childish and with no real...thought to the consequences.
no subject
It's her first real regret. It's soothed a bit with time, with circumstance and some work, but she isn't sure it will ever fully be healed. And maybe that's for the best. There's guilt that she should carry with her and understanding that the choices she makes have consequences that you cannot take back.
The hand on her shoulder isn't unwelcome but it feels undeserved. Of course he wouldn't know why. Does he deserve to know why? Maybe she does have a confession she didn't intend to make.
So she nods, forcing herself to make eye contact. ]
And it wasn't even for a good reason.
[ Her gaze falters for a moment as she sucks her lower lip in, then sighs. She had only explained the bare minimum as was required to both Alisaie and Lyse when the time came to travel to Sui-no-Sato and spoke nothing to the other Scions later when she would make frequent visits to Tanamizu to help out with Kurenai's requests. Putting it all into words isn't something she's really planned on doing. ]
I wasn't the first to leave... Others have long before my time, but the idea came to me after watching another woman my own age leave. Except she left because she knew, rightfully, that hiding would not save us from the eventuality of conflict. So she went to go fight in the war that enveloped our neighbors above in hopes that it could end before it ever found our village.
[ Yugiri is a remarkable person. Truly remarkable. Himeka had been both surprised and ashamed when their paths crossed again. Though it seemed they were both working towards a similar cause now and she was eventually able to help Yugiri in her mission, it was Yugiri whose pure ambitions and selfless acts should be lauded. Moments like those made her feel very undeserving of the esteem she's gained as the Warrior of Light. Why wasn't Yugiri chosen instead?
(She has theories now but that is far too complicated and she still hates the idea of fate.) ]
...I'm immensely lucky that I can call her a friend and ally these days. And I can also say that everything she fought for came true.
[ Doma did indeed earn it's freedom, but not because of Himeka--because of the will of it's people and the combined efforts of those who refused to give up even in the face of adversity. She is still glad she could play a part, no matter what size. ]
I had no such noble intentions. I left because I was childish and with no real...thought to the consequences.