aionlogs | [CLOSED] lizard times

[ Getting along with the other Pleroma is something that Himeka has considered important, but she would be lying if she said she didn't have a few favorites. Of course her friends from Etheirys are high on that list, but Lumine was one of the first people she met when she awoke. They were left to fend for themselves at the Shrine of the Wanderer and over time found that she had more in common with the other woman than she would have guessed.

And now she's gone missing. Not replying to missives and when she tries to feel the other woman out, it's faint and fleeting at best.

Himeka assumes, at first, that she may need space? Which is something she can understand and accept. But after a while the waiting gets the better of her and Himeka starts to do a bit of digging on her own.

She hadn't seen any trace of Lumine when she last visited and met with Emet-Selch, but she had been so preoccupied then Himeka hadn't done much of a thorough investigation. So she makes her way to the Shrine of the Wanderer in hopes that maybe she had just been seeking some respite and solitude...

But she isn't alone, she realizes not long after she teleports. ]

He doesn't know how long he's been here, how long he has searched this cave for any sign of her, over and over, his gloves wet from moisture and blood as he's dug and grasped and rubbed and picked around looking for anything to show him she's still here.

He's silent, crouched down on the ground in front of an empty crystal casing that bore a wanderer aion, although he doesn't know if it's hers or another's. It doesn't really matter, but he is covered in the grime from tearing this place apart as best he can. The dry ground the shrine is pooled with shallow waters, it clearly fresh rather than a stale natural part of the cave itself.

Even with his back to the entrance, even without his heightened senses or his Kenoma abilities, the water tells him someone has arrived. As if Childe's forgotten how to breathe until just now, he exhales a ragged sharp breath before slowly rising to his feet. Before he even turns, his voice can be heard low-toned and highly-agitated.
How dare anyone come here, how fucking dare?

The shallow water trembles, a shiver rippled through it as the hint of electrical charges zap in sudden sparks, like a fish jumping through waves.

The projected malice, the despair, the loneliness,and the anguish is incredibly strong —weighty—most likely especially so for a tier two Pleroma to come under the sudden assault of. The chaos of emotions that have been smothered in stillness seem to have stirred awake now, and they are just as wild and untamed as they most likely were before falling into brief and temporary dormancy more than likely from exhaustion. He doesn't have to use his Kenoma abilities to snuff out a Pleroma or a Wanderer (there are no Kenoma Wanderers) and he can't imagine why any Pleroma other than one of their own legacy would be here.
(If there had been a Pleroma before him here for any reason, perhaps he would be more calm, perhaps this wouldn't be what's he's greeting this unfortunate individual with; but to have been the first here looking for Lumine means now anyone is an intruder, an eyesore— but most of all?
—A guilty party.

"Where... is she?" He sneers, his voice cracking like silent claps of thunder.

Childe actually doesn't know who it is yet (or really if it's any one legacy versus another, maybe it's not an aion at all— doubtful, but it's certainly not a Kenoma) , but when he turns, he immediately recognizes the woman as

an aion a pleroma not his traveler not his aibou

He recognizes her from the Throne Room (still feels the burning of his nerve endings from her magic in phantom sensory), he recognizes her from seeing her with Lumine, he recognizes her as Estinien's important person (or one of them, at least, whatever the fuck that guy does to choose who is important and who isn't is none of his business, but Childe can at least say he understands the appeal of this one because she's so close to his own.)

It hurts. Of all the people who show up, this really hurts the most. It hurts, recalling Estinien's dismissive nature over Aerith's disappearance when he asked, it hurts that Estinien still has everyone and Childe feels like he's lost two people even though he barely knew the flower girl, and now losing Lumine is more akin to that he's literally lost everyone.

Being tortured, dying—it's all so easy compared to losing what's (who's) important! How the fuck does one miserable "good guy" get so many breaks, get to have so much support rallying and not a single one disappear?

He's never been aware of Himeka's Legacy, but a little focused (very briefly present) effort confirming she's a Wanderer just like Lumine (...is? was...? No no no, if his aibou isn't with the Pleroma they deserve nothing, no chance, no victory, no happiness, nothing—) only makes the rage that he's currently a slave to intensify. There's nothing to mistake this time, no overdrawn conclusions because if Lumine is gone then smeone needs to pay. The Pleroma were her caretakers. There's supposed to be each others caretakers! Isn't that what good guys fo. Work together, trust each other, protect each other? He's absolutely disgusted. This world really is unreadable. Even the heroes are mere shells, hollow words, useless actions.

"...You." his voice is dark, relatively calm (somehow) with a dangerous barely restrained insanity underneath, a hurt that digs deeper than he even realizes. But when someone is under the spell of believing their entire world is destroyed and now they've lost the one thing left from that world worth caring about... it does things to a person's sensibilities.

Especially someone like Childe.

"Where is she? Where is my aibou? What the hell did your worthless group of so-called heroes do with her!"

Ah, yeah. He's furious. He's never shown his fury to even half this level since he arrived in the presence of anyone, nevermind directed it towards another.

If Himeka knows what's good for her, she will not answer him. She will turn and run.

—Afterall, his fury is just getting started.

[ She can see a bit of movement near the cave, but even before he fully emerges she can tell it's not Lumine. Aether doesn't read here exactly the same as it does on her star, but it's enough that Himeka can get a sense of the general aura of people after healing them. She hasn't healed this person, but she has fought against him.

Himeka's eyes narrow as recognition sets in--the same man from when this all began, back in those dark and dank caverns, now fully on the side of the Kenoma. The man that Lumine had marked as someone from her world. Not a "friend"...but it was complicated.

It doesn't take someone who is talented at detecting aetherial disturbances to tell that the air around them is thick with discontent. With anger and with pain. Her eyes flick to where the water pooled on the ground vibrates, but never stray too long from the man--Childe, was it? He'd found their bout those moons ago almost enjoyable, it had seemed, but the underlying tone in his voice here is far from jovial. Her grip on her wooden staff tightens, but she makes no moves to be outright threatening, her tail twitching statically behind her.

The accusations he hurls at Himeka don't land at first, but as soon as he drops the word "partner" it all clicks into place.

He's also looking for Lumine.

And he thinks that Himeka may be responsible for her disappearance. ]

...

[ She could turn and run but that isn't the type of person she is. ]

I don't know where she is.

[ Her voice is steady--not sweet, but calm. Honest, she hopes, is the best course of action. ]

I came to see if she'd returned here somehow...the same as you, I take it?

[ her response? Her response. Hahaha, her response!

Well, well—

— it's better than lying, certainly better than lying, he'll give her that—

is it really? truly, by how much?

—but it's not so by very much at all.

He doesn't advance on her but his stance is clear that Himeka is not allowed to step any further towards him, either. He is unnaturally unwelcoming, even as a Kenoma toward a Pleroma. Childe never once had shown an unfriendly or otherwise unfriendly demeanor even in his hostile activity towards the Pleroma as a whole. This is not who he normally is... or, no... perhaps... it really is who he is? Perhaps this is all that's left of a young man once the layers of lies are peeled away and bared fresh to the world. Perhaps this is all that's left when he's been keeping himself in check for a hope in the form of a single person that's no longer present.

He refuses to directly answer Himeka's question as to why he is here, but he doesn't deny her assumption, either. Instead, his words are barbed in accusations, threatening without offering even a hint as what the victim should even feel threatened about beyond that fact that he is so enraged just beneath the surface. There no hint of what the threat is or its context, just that one somehow must exist. It's far from a laughable affair despite technically quite similar to one where empty threats and utter nonsense is hurled. It's almost like a tantrum. (It is a tantrum.) Yet, this tantrum? It's off somehow, as if the tantrum clearly unveils the threat in plain sight. Is it him, then? Is Childe "the threat" himself? Howso? He seems no different than back at the throne room beyond gaining a grasp of the Kenoma, but it's no more powerful or intimidating than what she has gained with the Pleroma. Nevertheless there is something off to be felt and it's a well-made guess to assume his violent projection of turbulent emotions is at least partly responsible. It's a well-guessed assumption to believe Childe may not be all there in his right mind.

He wants to lash out. At someone. At something. At everyone. At everything. ]

Is that all you Pleroma [ the way the name spills off his tongue and drips from his lips almost feels enforced, as if many unintelligible voices are chanting and conjuring this negativity that it's soaked in, encouraging his stance towards them and them specifically as the source of his upset— but perhaps it's merely too simple to be lured into imaging he's being influenced potentially by the Kenoma's will. ] are capable of saying when you are to be held accountable for anyone? Is that what Estinien taught you to say and do? You him? What the hell do you mean you don't know? How many have you lost by now since Aerith and you still. don't. know?

[ Childe really doesn't know how many they have lost. he can't be bothered to keep track of all of them, but he's well aware that at least five of them have gone missing: three he fought that he hasn't seen a trace of since, and then Aerith and now Lumine. To him that's not than enough for criticism. What kind of piss ass circus are these people running, not even able to protect their own or know what's happened to them but declaring they are going to save this world? They can't even save themselves. ]

If none of you know [ he reiterates, gloved fingers digging into his palms enough to draw blood, ] then how do you know the Regent hasn't taken them all right under your noses? How do you know anything about what this world deserves or needs if you can't even keep track of your supposed allies in this world? How do you plan to accomplish anything as "heroes!"

How the hell do you people manage to lose someone like her, of all people! [ because that's exactly what he had been told the Pleroma that had been with her last had done. She just "disappeared," but no one could better say that she disappeared from abduction versus being no longer in this world— or being anywhere in existence any longer, at all.

Himeka will feel the sudden echo though, the reverberating: I trusted you by letting them become Pleroma, I trusted you to be better and do better than I could for them out of my reach! I trusted you with her where I couldn't reach her! ]

You're all worthless if Lumine isn't here. If she's gone, every single one of your lives is forfeit. [ that's a real tangible threat now. Who cares, though, a Kenoma threatening a Pleroma like this?

That's the thing, however. ... Somehow, some way, it doesn't sound simply directed at Himeka and the rest of the Pleroma at all.

Perhaps that's really what is actually so threatening about it.

Calming himself down enough to speak more neutral and lower in volum he explains the situation currently before the Warrior of Light. ]

I admire you not turning tail and running. As best a decision as it would have been, I'd have only used it as an excuse to peg you as target number one. Maybe then, Estinien would finally have more to say about someone missing than "I don't know" if that missing someone is you.

[ the suffocating atmosphere intensifies momentarily before waning, restricting itself back resentfully. ] ... Even then, though... you're Lumine's friend.

[ Which means... ]

...Feh. Get the fuck out of here before I change my mind. You're an eyesore to me.

[ —more than anyone else, because you're just like her.

(He doesn't need to be reminded further of what he's actually lost.) ]

[ He's prepped to be on the offensive, that much is clear. Both his stance and the cadence of his voice speak enough to it, but the longer they stand in front of one another, the more the air around them feels thick like a brewing storm. Keen as she is with his chosen element, she keeps her eyes on the water that's collected on the ground every now and then. Just in case.

He's seething, like rough currents under a barely contained surface. She narrows her eyes at the mention of Estinien and Aerith--how is this at all related? But it does raise a new concern that she hadn't realized she had...

...is it possible that only Pleroma have been going mysteriously silent?

What ramifications does that have? ]

We didn't--

[ But before she can get the words out, the telltale signs of a headache comes on. Sharp pain shoots through her skull and she starts to buckle, trying to use her cane to keep herself upright. It isn't a full vision--a facsimile of such, but the repeated accusations and manifestation of Childe's pain and anger is felt keenly enough. Her eyes go wide as it knocks the breath out of her despite herself and Himeka stumbles backwards a step.

Not a good show of strength. But she's never been able to control it. (Not without the guidance of the one who came before her.) ]

Ah...

[ Himeka needs a moment to recover but she doesn't have that luxury. She forces herself to stand straight and upright, trying not to wince as the remnants of the headache still sting, fresh and raw. ]

Childe--that's your name, isn't it? Lumine told me your name.

[ Himeka swallows, regaining her composure. For what it's worth, she does not seem to be taking his threats to heart, for better or for worse, even if it would potentially upset Estinien. (But she thinks he would trust her with this.) ]

I don't control where she goes--none of us do. But I could feel her more than nearly anyone else.

[ A byproduct of sharing the same Legacy, she assumes. There aren't many Wanderers around, now only one other than herself left on the side of the Pleroma. ]

I'm here to look for her. I'm sorry that you're hurting, but if you really consider yourself her friend then you can help me. Even if you don't...I'm not leaving this place.

[ Childe stares at her, and his eyes tell nothing. They show nothing but an abyssal and endless void— no emotions, no light, no life despite the clear turmoil that's coming from his mouth and his mind.

Does he notice the headaches? Sure. Does he think it makes her look weak? Maybe, but whereas that might normally deter him from bothering with her, he knows better, anyway. He expects her strength is on par with Lumine's, so he finds her unwillingness to leave as her accepting an invitation for some pain.

Any other time he might laugh, he might even show some excitement that she's not so easily intimidated and wants to stick around despite being threatened. Not right now, though. Childe doesn't care for the apology, just as he doesn't care much that she knows his name (—or, at least what he is usually called if not his actual name.) No one has ever apologized to him before, and he's got no reason to think they will now and actually mean it.

(But I could feel her more than nearly anyone else.)

. . .

The water at his feet is rippling suspiciously despite him not having moved an inch once he stood to face her, the orb belted to his waist slow-pulsing a blue light.

The oppressive projection of emotions along with his accusations suddenly silence around them.

His voice when he replies is nothing more than apathy, as if all that rage spilling from him a moment ago has become too much effort to bother with. ]

No?

[ The smallest lace of amusement (but it's not playful, it's downright deranged) accompanies an equally unsettling barely-there smirk. ]

I don't like being jerked around, girlie~. I've searched every inch of this shrine. There's no one here but us.

[ The movement of the water is enough to draw her attention for a moment--is he preparing an attack? Himeka shifts her gaze back to Childe but does start to summon the tingling of aether at the fingertips of her right hand, where she flexes them as they grip onto her cane.

But it's the silence that puts her on higher alert. Himeka narrows her eyes.

So her attempt to placate him didn't work. She supposes that it shouldn't be much of a surprise, they have only been on opposing sides since they met and he has no reason to trust her intentions. And, to be honest, they're not entirely pure either--while she does want to find Lumine and would appreciate assistance, they're mostly to try and minimize the threat he poses, whether that means to herself or to anyone else who makes the mistake of showing up at the Shrine about now.

Her inclination is to go forward anyway. She wants to see it for herself. Yet as her eyes draw over him, they're drawn to his hands--not just the tension within them, but the cracked and broken skin, the dirt caked in--

--...has he really been trying to dig her out?

...

He's taken her disappearance very personally. To an alarming degree. ]

...That's very thorough of you.

[ Himeka forces herself to relax. ]

Then maybe I can help instead.

[ Slowly as to not look like she's readying an attack, Himeka reaches out with her left hand, holding her palm upwards. The aether still dances across her own skin, small wisps of something calm and blue rising and falling in the air above it, like a gentle mist on the forest floor. ]

Even if she's not here now...it's possible she was recently.

Edited 2022-07-08 21:48 (UTC)

[ There's forceful exhales of air through his nose at her initial response, but at least Childe doesn't seem entirely convinced that it's worth attacking her over. Or, if he did, before he can get to that point she's speaking again and acting. The Harbinger tenses, uncertain, but he can at least somewhat sense whatever she's doing isn't meant to be harmful, even if he doesn't know what it's supposed to be. Gritting his teeth and holding his jaw locked tight, the urge to lash out is still overwhelming as the despair and anger that he's no longer projecting is still being internalized and fighting against any and all of his current mental restraints.

He shouldn't listen, but he can't help but wonder if the two women have a similar ability, that perhaps Himeka may be able to sense something or at least find some sort of trail to follow like Lumine had been able to do neck in Teyvat. ]

. . . [ Fists trembling, the water splashes like shallow waves at his feet, but the movements are ultimately harmless: they're simple movements of water and water only made from the turmoil in his heart rather than meant as anything to harm.

Licking his lips, Childe does attempt to say something in response, but he has no words. With his voice suddenly failing him, and him equally unable to dismiss that the Pleroma woman might indeed be able to see something he is incapable of, his only answer is to shift and move out of her way. Childe walks to one side of the cave, coming to press a shoulder against the near "wall" with his back facing the rest of the inner shrine to let Himeka have free movement and no obstructions.

He doesn't know what to do anymore. This world is worthless, but, really, so is he. There's no place to go, no one and nothing to escape this emptiness, and now there's nothing to even look forward to at the end of the road, whether it's a victory or defeat for he himself. There's nothing quite like seeing real heroes triump over the badguys, but his doubts increase each time he interacts with them. He was sure they would win if they had Lumine with them so long as they really were doing the correct and just thing. Now, however, Childe doesn't know. He doesn't know any of the Pleroma well enough to have an idea their capability to do so since fighting ability is only one part of the puzzle. Lumine was the only one that he had proof could pick up the slack for anything the Pleroma lacked. He can hope that they're still in a good position, but hope is a quickly dying commodity here.

If it's not fair, can either side be just in winning the war? Who knows.

Childe neither fears death nor does he want to die, but sometimes, especially now, he almost longs for the inevitably, if only to stop the current gaping wound at his chest from spilling his despair like they're his guts.

Leaning his head against the rocky walls he goes still with no other words his belly obtained company. ]

childe;

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dextera;

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abel;

im crying

i can't even take credit for it

yes you can i give you full permission

i am merely plagiarizing your beautiful words

hiMEKA HELP????; 1/2

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it's a valid question!!

😩