aionlogs | [CLOSED] lizard times

...But it's really the only sort of thing you do with a lover, you know? So if that was what you were going for I'll admit I didn't really come prepared for a quickie.

[ A beat. ]

Though I suppose that's why they call it a quickie, isn't it?

[ Hm... ]

I-I was nOT [ his voice cracked ] str... --Will you stop saying that word?!

[ oh, no. oh no. he's graduating from tomato to lobster red -- is it approaching a purplish hue?? perhaps, and now his hand-waving is only graduating in enthusiasm to the next level. he's looking vaguely Indignant to boot?? god, ]

I was me... merely taking a gander at what a mermaid's fin feels like since I--

[ --and then she goes and says the "L" word,

and the next word squeaks to silence in his throat as if it is physically lodged there. his mouth works impotently. his eyes are wide in his skull in an abject

horror

as the full breadth of this miscommunication washes over him in whole.

ah. ...ah.

sorry-- the Abel you are trying to reach is not available at this moment. please wait approximately three seconds for him to perform a Reboot and Recovery System Restore. please be cautioned that Abels have been known to meltdown after recovery processes resume, so safeguarding measures for one's safety may be necessary. thank you for your patience and attention to this matter. ]

[ She's only speaking truth, GOSH. Maybe he shouldn't go around stroking people's horns if he doesn't want them to call him out for stroking his horns? Then she wouldn't need to say that word.

He's taking a gander... ]

At my what?

[ Except there's no response. Abel, pale Abel, has turned colors she never expected to see in someone of his pallor. Himeka's own face is steadily returning to normal after the misunderstanding--really, she was caught more off guard than anything. But... ]

...Uh.

[ She does, in fact, wait three seconds. It's almost as if she skimmed the instruction manual. But any longer than that...she does lean forward a bit and looks like she's going to poke him.

Will he explode? ]

...Abel?

[ and as if on cue, Abel is abruptly lurching back into action -- flailing his head in a vigorous back and forth no gesture-- ]

H-- Himeka, [ it leaves him in a breathy wheeze, and he surely looks like he's about to keel over, ] --I think I just blacked out. I-- I feel faint. Am I dying...? Is this what having one's soul called to His loving, awaiting hands is like, I--

[ ...... ]

[ Himeka pulls back, eyes widening in surprise as Abel.exe seems to reboot on it's own. She blinks once. Twice. ]

Erm...

[ Well, he is all sorts of new colors so she may as well offer him a Cure I just in case. Enjoy this little light show and gentle tickle of healing magic. ]

Feeling better?

[ oh, now she's trying to KILL HIM with her MAGIC, great. great!! honestly, he wouldn't much mind being put out of his misery and he's slumping to just

sit, right there on the floor

instead of on the bed, like a civilized human being. just sitting on the floor, his head hung, now miserably drawing his knees to his chest like he's five and he was just told he can't go play outside with his friends.

m-mumbling into his knees, ]

No. I'm not feeling better. And your bubble-magic makes my nose feel tingly in a very abnormal way and now I have to sneeze, a... and you're-- you ca... can't just go around saying those kinds of things, it just isn't done, alright?!

[ ?????? ]

[ Oh gods, he's on about the stroking thing? Himeka's hands drop to hold onto the side of the mattress as she regards Abel on the floor with an expression that is two parts confused, one part bemused, and one part just...well we don't know, but there's another part to put on hold for a moment. ]

...Mmmmmm.

[ She knows he has a penchant for dramatics at this point but she's usually on the same page as him with them, isn't she? ]

You mean...

[ A friend would be understanding. Clearly something about this misunderstanding has upset him deeply. ]

Like...

[ But... ]

...Stroking?

[ ...a good friend would keep poking because that's the funniest outcome. ]

[ --whipping up from his sad Pity Pile, he's brandishing his finger like a WEAPON up at her face-- ]

It was NOT STROKING!!

[ oh my god, that left him... louder than he intended, and he's only serving to re-invigorate the flush of heat in his face that had started to abate. GOD, what is HAPPENING?? ]

What, do you-- want me to stoke your-- mermaid-fin?! Hm? Is that what this is really about? HM?! Is this some sort of proposition, Himeka, because I did not imagine that is why you came to visit me here, and I am no cheap hussy for your information!!

[ This time instead of being shocked when he whirls around and sticks a finger in her face, Himeka just smiles. ]

My "mermaid-fin"?

[ Abel, please. Were you too concerned with your stroking taboo that you didn't hear what she said? ]

I just told you--they're my horns.

[ The accusation just--it sends a bubble of laughter up from her diaphragm and right out in a surprising burst. She has to hold her stomach to try and keep her composure. ]

Ah, but you said these weren't your working hours! I wouldn't want you to clock on just for me.

Edited (clock on, clock off...same thing) 2022-07-15 04:44 (UTC)

[ h-- hah. admittedly, the sound of her laughter pealing out of her with such enthusiasm is making it a bit hard to keep up with the petulant indignation, and for a second-- just a second-- perhaps the expression of a pouty irritation falters and almost betrays a smile.

almost.

but he's quite dedicated to his work, you see -- the work of being a Grade A idiot, n-not the... other work she's insinuating, for the record -- and Abel thusly doubles down, folding his arms over his chest and regarding her with an accusatory skepticism. ]

Please~! Please, don't even joke-- I know better than to mix business with pleasure. --I-in the way of friendships, I mean, I'm-- I mean I don't involve my friends in w... work matters, so--

--Oh, dear God.

[ he's wilting bit like a flower gone too long without water to palm face in his hand. ]

For the love of all things holy, please... please let us change the subject. Please.

[ He's doing good. He's doing very good and she will definitely silently commend him to keeping it up. But she respects a plea for mercy especially when this was really all just a silly understanding.

It's hard to really cross her boundaries in a way that makes her upset and she doesn't believe Abel's intentions were anything other than simple curiosity no matter how she's ribbing him for it. She manages to pull herself together long enough to try and abate Abel's fears. ]

Alright, alright...

[ He's spared for now. Himeka lets her hand slide from her stomach to her lap as she shakes her head, her shoulders still shaking a bit from holding back a giggle fit. ]

I know it was a misunderstanding. No hard feelings, I promise.

[ She offers what she hopes he takes as a sincere smile on her part. Now her tail is only swishing lightly in amusement. ]

Though if you did want to see my scales you only need to ask.

[ To prove her point, she rolls up her sleeve and holds out her arm to him--completely innocuous and church-approved pieces of skin, right? ]

You don't really have people like me on your star, do you?

[ o-oh, well. this is good; this is fine, he thinks... yes, yes, this is fine! transitioning from one phase of conversation to the next -- so he'll lumber up from the floor where he'd been throwing his temper tantrum and instead (albeit grudgingly) sit at the bed beside her again.

...because he IS, admittedly, still quite curious about these ~~mermaid~~ scales. thus, he's leaning in a bit to observe her arm, giving her a glance as though to ask for permission before gently running a finger across one at her forearm. ]

Well-- no, I'm afraid not...

[ it truly is... fascinating. ]

In my world, there are two races of intelligent human life; that is Methuselah-- a long-lived race of beings that must consume blood to survive, a vampire?-- and humans. While it's possible for some Methuselah to change their anatomy - maybe even grow scales or transform parts of their bodies into animal parts... it's rather rare, and I don't think I've heard of any quite like this!

[ his eyes slide from her arm, curiosity and awe alike in his gaze. ]

I can say with some certainty that I've never met anyone quite like you, Himeka! ...In more ways than one.

[ She's glad to see him calm down himself, enough to peel himself off the floor he so dejectedly dumped himself on. She watches the recover with the same quiet patience she usually has and only nods to his own questioning gaze.

Truth be told it's kind of nice to have someone be curious about her heritage and not automatically assume she's part of the scalekin roaming the forests. Himeka may have left the Ruby Sea but she has always been proud to be an Au Ra, even when she is the only one around. And being an inherently curious person herself, she really can't blame Abel for wanting to know, now can she?

Her scales feel much the same as her horns did, albeit smaller and more patchworked in the way he is likely expecting.

But it's when he starts to give her a clearer vision of his world that Himeka is immediately paying close attention. ]

Me...thuselyah? Selah.

[ Testing out the word there. It doesn't quite roll off the tongue but not so bad.

His final appraisal does get a small chuckle from her as she inclines her head slightly towards him. ]

I can say with plenty of certainty you're pretty unique yourself, Abel.

[ With absolute certainty, she should probably say. ]

And I'm very glad to have met you.

[ But now that he's given her something to chew on, she's not going to let go of that line. ]

We have vampires of sorts though I haven't met many. I believe they're all Voidsent? Though a lot of things are Voidsent that you wouldn't expect. Like Fat Cats.

[ Clearly being a Voidsent does not mean you are bad. And sometimes people bathe in the blood of the locals and ascend to new heights by just being, you know, weird messed up and awful people. But that's neither here nor there. ]

So these Methuselah and humans are the only ones? What sort of blood do they need? Do they share the same cities and regions? How big is your star?

[ h-haha; he can't resist the urge to grin a bit at that: unique? uniquely stupid, perhaps. why yes, yes he is, thank you for noticing~! (glad to have met him, she says... a-ah.)

but between his very curious inspection of these (pretty and almost pearlescent) scales - how they flawlessly co-exist with her otherwise normal skin - and the subject matter, his curiosity only serves to grow. yet, somehow-- he has ended up on the receiving end of 20 questions?? how had this happened, exactly? Abel looks momentarily perplexed, but there's really no harm in answering any of this. it makes sense she would be curious about the world he's from, just as he is of hers, after all!

so, in the name of sating her thirst for knowledge, he is happy to answer ALL of her inquiries. even if... half of what she says simply adds more questions to Abel's pile than he had previously, so there's that. fat cat?? voidsent???? he's... lost, but that's nothing new, it's fine!! ]

A-ah, well, I'm not sure I've ever heard of 'voidsent' before - that sounds rather ominous, by the way, I much prefer a 'fat cat,' which sounds terribly endearing? [ ......he hopes? god, he hopes it's cute and not some mutated freak of nature that eats children's toes or something. a-anyway, ]

But, um-- well, yes! Those are the only two-- Methuselah and humans?-- and they need human hemoglobin, specifically. They have their own territory to the east and it's very much a secluded, mysterious Empire where one cannot come or go freely. Not if they're a human, anyway-- I'm afraid there is a status quo of animosity between us, and they don't take kindly to unannounced visitors from the Outside, as it were!

[ that didn't stop him from sneaking in, of course, but that's neither here nor there. ]

It's a bit hard to answer how large my star is, seeing as I don't have any others for comparison, um. It's about four thousand miles diameter...? Yes-- but much of the world was lost to the Dark Ages -- that's when the vampires appeared, you see, and only a small portion of its surface is inhabitable these days. Talking about this really does make me curious how vastly different your world must look, Himeka, never mind the cultural differences-- your people, for example. They really live in the ocean?

Edited (i can spell) 2022-07-15 17:07 (UTC)

[ He's not wrong--"voidsent" is an inherently ominous if rather straight-forward term. She'd say that nothing good seems to come from the void but that would be a lie. Fat Cats are, after all, terribly cute. (Although she does often wonder why it is her fishing retainers seem to find them...mayhaps the rift in the void is somewhere in the sea? Hmm...) ]

Oh yes, they are. They're very round with big chubby cheeks and rather useless all the same. The Void itself is a curious place. We see creatures from it come into our world but no one has ever been there.

[ Maybe some day she'll get to see what it's like for herself. But the odds of that are incredibly small, aren't they?

From what Abel tells her, however, she is already assuming that Abel himself is definitely one of those normal human types. Why would she think otherwise? But he's also using words that she isn't familiar with again, so... ]

What's hemoglobin? Is it in blood?

[ She's a magical magey hearler not an actual doctor with a medical degree, sorry for leading you on, Abel.

Though hearing how the only two races left are pitted against each other in a world that has been largely destroyed...her curiosity doesn't dwindle but her expression does sober up quite a bit. It's a bit like the First, isn't it? Inhabitable areas becoming so hard to find. Maybe they're at odds for resources, especially if humans have something that the Methuselah need to survive. ]

Ah...so humans and Methuselah are at odds, then. That must be difficult if you're the only two races in the world after something like that...

[ For such a kind and pleasant man, it sounds as if the place he comes from is much harder than she'd anticipated. ]

What happened? If...you don't mind me asking.

[ It may be something he'd rather not share. And if so, she'll respect it. Even if it's history to him it doesn't make the pain of living in the aftermath any less potent.

As for her own people, she nods. ]

My ancestors founded our village on the sea floor to avoid war and conflict that seemed rampant on the surface world. We've lived there every since.

[ so a cute little chubby-cheeked cat came walking out of a literal Void and into Himeka's world, and this is just... normal? oh. well, he thought there were... eccentricities... to his earth, but hey! glad to know that everywhere is Weird. relatively speaking.

...again, the further they go on - the more questions arise. she doesn't know what hemoglobin is? but he thought she was a doctor?? maybe... it's different where she's from? oh my god he's going to give himself a migraine attempting to figure all this out, so he decides to shelve some of it for another time and focus on what's important.

fat cats? yeah, fat cats are pretty important. oh, suppose general world politics and history are also on the table. but mostly fat cats. ]

Wait, so-- this 'Void' is a place? Like... another world, do you mean? And cute but abnormally large cats slip through?

[ yes he really is fascinated. fat cats.... fat cats.

--uh, right. ]

Ah, um-- hemoglobin is something in blood! Related to one's red blood cells, something like that? [ Dr. Himeka... say it isn't so... she's definitely a doctor, yeah... ]

As for what happened... if you mean the Dark Ages? It's not exactly well-known, actually. [ Abel lightly prods at his glasses, thoughtful. ] Some say that there had been a great war; some say that the appearance of the vampires is what started it all. But either way, our peoples have been at odds with one another for nearly a thousand years or so-- so it's been quite some time, mm? We're enjoying a time of tentative peace, now-- the Methuselah keep to the Empire for the most part, and humans rarely venture into their lands. Things are a bit difficult close to the borders, but... well. Considering your people fled war for the water? I'd say that isn't exactly a foreign or unusual concept to you, is it?

[ he already knows she has fought battles the likes of which are well beyond his fathoming; his little dip into her dreamscape had provided him context that has been highly valuable for understanding both Himeka and the world she's come from. Estinien, what he's learned of Ishgard, Alphinaud, Emet-Selch - these pieces of the overall puzzle have also been integral in his grasp of her person, her history.

and sadly, he truly knows her life has not been a quiet nor uneventful one. ]

Did your family leave...?

[ ...he desperately hopes she isn't about to tell him they were chased out by tragedy - personal or otherwise. ]

[ Oh goodness, the Void...as per usual despite how well-traveled she is, Himeka feels like she's somehow the last person that should be describing her star, her universe, etc. If only because people tend to give her that look after she tries. But, well... ]

The Void? Erm...well it was the 13th Reflection of the Source--my star, sort of, but like the original part of it?--that Emet-Selch's colleagues tried to rejoin to the Source except they messed up and instead destroyed it so now it's a shadowy Void where weird things happen. Something like that. But I haven't been there, only seen the things that come out of it which usually cause us a lot of problems but some are very cute.

[ Whew! Not too bad, if you ask her. And he did, technically.

Red blood cells? Himeka squints. Blood is usually red... ]

Oh. Okay.

[ Yeah she can roll with that even if she can't really picture what it is. Sounds like little goblins running around in the blood? Very small ones, she imagines. Which considering what she knows of goblins must be very dangerous. She can't imagine why one would really one a bunch of miniature goblins but...no judging.

Goblins aside, anything called "the Dark Ages" is bound to be an unpleasant time. ]

A thousand years?

[ Goodness...that sounds familiar, doesn't it? She feels like she knows what Estinien would begin to think if he heard the same story. She also wonders if Abel's world is plagued by a similar misunderstanding. But it sounds as if there may be no one around to remember it, unlike the Great Wyrms. ]

Mmm...no, no it isn't, unfoirtunately. Though a "tentative peace". That makes it sound as if it's more of a lull in the conflict...? [ She hopes that's not right. ] That makes it hard to overcome if no one can even remember how it began. Is there no common ground to be found?

[ All big words from someone who doesn't understand the nuances of the situation Abel's world is enveloped in, but she's seen enough war herself to wonder regardless. Even when it came to the Garlean Empire it had to be defeated and dissolved. There may have been help from within, yet...many suffered on both sides in the process. If much of Abel's world has been deemed uninhabitable...

A great war indeed.

To his question, at least, she can shake her head. ]

No, no. My town was founded centuries ago. It's small, but...it did achieve what it wanted for the most part. But in turn it cut itself off from everything else.

[ She shrugs with a small smile. ]

I don't particularly like the idea that peace is only achievable in isolation, though. And I'm happy to say that Sui-no-Sato has started to open up to the greater world recently. It may risk involving itself more in any conflicts that rise up but...it's better to have friends in adversity than to be alone, I think.

...Himeka? I want you to know I am so very dearly fond of you, but I think I only understand about a fifth of what you tell me at any given time when it comes to your world. Thirteenth... reflection, and... Void realms with chubby cats, a-and fighting magic gods, and--

[ he's lightly fisting into silver hair, looking as though he's giving himself some kind of complex attempting to work it all out. who knew life could be so complicated?? he thought things were hard to stomach where he's from; it's tame in comparison....... (to him, anyway. perhaps he is biased. ahem.)

but after a moment of a mild breakdown and gentle hair-pulling, he seems to be gathering himself back together. a bit. enough, anyway. ]

...Common ground?

[ h-haha. of course it would be the first thing Himeka thinks of - some way to bridge the gap. he doesn't resist the smile that pulls at his lips, something warm blooming in his chest as he fidgets absently with the cuff of his sleeve. ]

I like to believe there is. Common ground...? We're all human, vampire or not. Being held apart in this way... I feel we've lost touch of one another and all the things that could bring us together. And I'm happy to say I am not alone in my thinking, even if I wish we weren't the minority.

[ these words would have him bound and quartered for treason in his world - especially considering his position as a servant to the Vatican, but... he has no need to worry about such things here. and they never stopped him from saying them at home, either, even if he had to be more cautious about his audience, admittedly. peace is so very delicate... tentative, and she'd nailed it right on the head with her inference: the 'war' never really ended. what the world enjoys now is simply a lull, an absence of outright animosity. ]

There are very good people at home working to make that peace a long-lasting sort. To establish a real treaty between us, to bring us together. If anyone might see it through... it will be them.

[ yes. for the first time in a long time, there's genuine hope for Lilith's dream - for his dream - to find roots in their world.

...Esther; Ion; Caterina. his colleagues, his friends, and those who are dearer than life to him - these people will surely... surely... ]

[ --but he seems to think he's gotten carried away, sheepishly drawing from where his thoughts had spiraled and quickly moving onward. ]

Speaking of hope, then... it sounds like maybe there is some of that for your home as well? I can't help but agree with you, Himeka-- the seclusion might keep people safe, but... in the long run, all that one sacrifices in that solitude... it surely can't be worth it, can it?

[ bonds; experiences; knowledge - the vastness of the world cannot be overstated, and he's sure the same is true of the place Himeka's from just a small percentage of what she's told him in passing. the people below the sea deserve to explore, to know more than their tiny little bubble. ]

[ Oh?

Ah...well. She tried. She actually doesn't seem all that surprised that Abel didn't follow and that's honestly one of the kindest let-downs she's been given when it sounds like she's blabbering on incoherently. ]

Mm...to be honest sometimes I think it's a little confusing myself. I could go into the whole reflections thing but...I really can't explain the existence of the Fat Cat. I suppose it's one of those great mysteries of life that we'll never be able to solve.

[ Unless you're Y'shtola and take that sort of statement as a personal challenge. Himeka is actually okay with letting some things be mysteries. Makes life more existing that way, you know?

It doesn't surprise her in the least that Abel is one of the few who are advocating for said common ground, though. No--he's really the one pioneering it here in Horos as well so it only makes perfect sense. He's just that sort of person, isn't he? Wanting to find the way that works best for everyone, find the things that bring them together rather than separate them. It's equally no surprise that she finds that people usually have good things to say about him too. She feels a sense of pride in being able to call him her friend, that maybe she can help in some way to make his efforts realized.

The faith he has...it's the kind of thing she feels like she's tried so hard to emulate herself. If she can't do it fully alone, she's more than happy to attach herself to those who can. ]

Mmm...that does sound terribly like you.

[ But it's said with no small amount of affection. And no small amount on his side as well as he speaks of the efforts of "very good people". She feels it's a good guess that they're not just some people. ]

Your royal friend is one of those, I take it?

[ As she imagines having friends in high places would certainly be a boon to such efforts. It usually takes a while for everyone to be on board, but it's so much easier to start from the top than work your way up from the bottom.

He hits it right on the nose regarding Sui-no-Sato, too. ]

Mhmm. It's really the Ruby Princess that has advocated for it. Despite the fact that she's meant to be the most secluded of everyone, she refused to let that stop her.

[ Maybe if Himeka had stayed...had gotten to know Kurenai through her own service at the Palace rather than to act on her own selfishness and fear there could have been a way to help those efforts so much sooner. ]

My people are very lucky to have her.

[ Well, "we" may sound more appropriate, but...no, Himeka isn't the one who is reaping the benefits of Kurenai's defiance and stubbornness. But she is glad to have helped the Princess in some way. To pretend part of it wasn't guilt-ridden would be a lie, but that's no reason not to do the right thing all the same. ]

[ his royal friend... it takes him a moment, but he belatedly recalls they briefly spoke about that on the climb up to the Firebrand Shrine - and Abel's immediately nodding. ]

--Yes, mm... Miss Esther has come quite a ways from when we first met a few years ago! She really is something else... But the fate of Albion and its relation to the other world powers are in her good hands, and if anyone can help begin to work to make peace on behalf of the terrans... I truly believe it's her.

[ truthfully, Abel could not have asked for a better ally to come into such power; Esther and her beliefs had been destined for greatness from the very beginning, but to see the length of her journey taking her to such heights... it was surreal, amazing. he is so proud of her and has the utmost faith in her battle from here on out.

even if, admittedly, he is sad it means their ways truly had to part this time.

...Abel lightly prods at his glasses again, casting his thoughts to the royalty of Himeka's home beneath the sea. 'Ruby Princess;' it certainly sounds fancy, doesn't it? he can see there is something complicated in her relationship with this person - and he is taking it in for a moment before he finally decides on what to say. ]

Have you been away from home long? You've been traveling for a while, haven't you?

[ he knows she's been abroad for some time, at least. he wonders if she gets the chance to visit home - and truly what that home is really like. does she have family? does she get the opportunity to share warm meals and holidays and take time for herself, or is she perpetually caught in the whirlwind of her world? Abel realizes he knows so little about what her daily life was like, never mind what it might be like in places she went to rest her wearied head for some relaxation between it all. ]

[ Of course she remembers! Abel hasn't spoken much of his home or his friends before this so the one he has mentioned must have left quite an impression on him, right? A friend turned monarch no less. With apparently an abysmal taste in sandwiches but not everyone is perfect. They forgive their friends their faults. ]

Albion? That must be the Kingdom of humans, I take it? Or the non-vampire kind of humans.

[ Since Abel did make a point to put them together in the overall category of humanity, Himeka doesn't want to disregard the perceived humanity of the Methuselah. That would be rude. (Like calling groups of people "beast tribes", ya know.) ]

Well...if she's anything like you say she is and someone you believe so wholeheartedly in, I can't imagine it going any other way.

[ His faith is kind of inspiring, right? Surely Esther feels it too. ]

I'm sure she'll likewise be happy to hear everything you did for Horos while you were gone.

[ Because they will finish this and find a way back. They will see their homes and friends and family again. And she believes that he will have plenty to share of his own successes at that point.

The question in turn should be easy enough--home being the Ruby Sea. A part of it will always be home and she feels that if she really did choose to return her mother would work it out for her. But those that leave typically do not return. Such a practice must be in the past along with Sui-no-Sato's isolation, right? She did visit, after all...and has a few times since.

After a quiet moment, she nods. ]

A few years. The world is a lot bigger than I ever imagined it would be.

Ah-- yes, well, it's close! Albion is a country; there are quite a few outside of the Empire's territory, but they don't all share a like mind on how to deal with Methuselah... Thanks to Miss Esther, I certainly hope that will be changing.

[ it isn't lost on him at all how the Vatican and Germanicus will make it extremely difficult for her despite her status as former clergy; she has a rough road ahead of her. it isn't an envious position.

but she is capable. she is so strong, that girl - and there is an iron in her spine that will not allow others to stampede over her dreams of peace.

in some ways, perhaps their worlds are alike in that way - it seems her home had been separated and secluded until recently, of a different mind than the others sharing its vicinity - even if those lands were above-ground. ]

...A few years is a long time to be from home. [ it's soft, gentle. he isn't sure how she feels about all of this, yet - but... his eyes are quietly questioning. ] Do you miss it?

[ has she simply been too busy to return? or... is it something else? ]

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