rand al'thor. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dragonmount) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
aionlogs2022-07-28 09:00 pm
dragonmount) wrote in aionlogs2022-07-28 09:00 pm
OPEN
WHO: Rand & you!
WHAT: Event aftermath
WHERE: Greentruth and Godsblood
WHEN: Late Soviseri to early Firaseri
WARNINGS: Will add as needed
WHAT: Event aftermath
WHERE: Greentruth and Godsblood
WHEN: Late Soviseri to early Firaseri
WARNINGS: Will add as needed
GODSBLOOD
[ he lays low.
after vaeka's execution is prevented, after things start to quiet, he risks one trip to the building where he'd been living. he isn't there long: enough to check on eleanor (and dodge questions about the fading bruises on his face), enough to speak to the person he rents from, and enough to vacate his apartment. he doesn't return there. he doesn't visit any of his usual haunts, before or after the kenoma leave the city, nor any of the handful of places that'd gotten used to giving him odd jobs. the idea is to effectively vanish, and he does a decent job of that.
if asked, he isn't totally unavailable, especially to fellow aions. he's avoiding the kenoma, yes, but he's just as much avoiding the godsblood locals who know him. so: if asked, he'll admit he can be found at ernesto's. and he's not unwilling to meet people in the city, either, so long as they avoid some of the more populated areas at busy times. caution isn't his native language, but it's one even he can use sometimes. ]
GREENTRUTH
[ once things settle further, once the kenoma envoy finally leaves godsblood, he starts chancing trips back to greentruth. carefully, of course; after however vaeka was found out, they have to tread carefully. and the safe haven in the forest is more important than ever, now that the regent has seen fit to remind them that godsblood is technically under their domain. he'd never do anything to jeopardize it.
more saliently, after getting stabbed in the leg by a surprisingly strong girl and her huge magic scythe, getting around isn't as easy as it usually would be, even with healing. those with an ability to use or see magic predating their arrival in horos might notice, at moments, the faint glow of a weave wrapped around his bad leg. he only uses it while standing still, mostly — the logistics of getting this small magic to move with him when he walks aren't currently in his skillset — but it helps him be more stable on his feet than he really is. and he's here, after all, to work.
he still offers instruction in archery and related skills, can be easily found carving bows and fletching arrows (sitting, usually) or else correcting stances and generally providing advice for anyone who wants to learn. his own lessons in swordplay unfortunately likely have to wait till he's better, but that doesn't mean he never wanders over to borrow a training blade and...you know, start getting ideas. recent experiences in godsblood might have made the prospect of becoming a swordsman more painful, but not enough to stop him.
but maybe the real difference is that now, not infrequently, he practices channeling. usually some safe distance from more populated areas, but not impossible to find, he'll find somewhere to sit and — those aforementioned with an ability to see the Power will be able to notice a swirl of light and darkness around him. those who can't will only be able to see the effects of his channeling. he likely looks strange, often frowning at his hands before,
an orb of light appears between them, floating through thin air,
or a gust of wind blows around the area, (though hopefully not too violently? but also: no promises. weirdly, no matter how violent the gust, his hair and clothes stay completely unruffled),
or thunder seems to rumble overhead, briefly,
or, just maybe, he accidentally shoots off a fireball in your direction.
in any of the more dangerous cases, he'll scramble to his feet hastily, wincing, and dispel the magic with frantic apologies. see: ]
Sorry! I'm sorry. I didn't see you there.
WILDCARD
[ hmu if you'd like to plan something! the intent is for this post to be a catch-all for the month of august. ]
no subject
He's another cog in the machine, and in some ways there's a strange amount of relief in that. It's not that he doesn't feel responsible for things, or that he doesn't feel guilt for how his actions or inaction has made a difference.
But the weight of a literal world isn't sitting squarely on his shoulders, and while he might still feel guilt about being told that someone was targeted because of him, he'd also have a lot easier a time acknowledging the culpability of the person doing the targeting in the first place.
He's not entirely certain Rand can.
Ernesto watches those nervous hands twist over themselves, realizing that even though Rand is sitting still, he's bursting with anxious energy, and wondering what the right words are to relieve some of that, even for a moment. ]
Right... so the person who attacked her had a bad reason for doing so.
[ It's overly simple, and Ernesto realizes that, but it's still true. ]
What exactly have you done to any of the Kenoma that would lead to them attacking you or someone close to you? Because just existing and believing something they don't doesn't count, but that's the justification they're trying to use.
[ His gaze moves from Rand's hands back up to his face. ]
So I'm saying it again... you know it's not your fault, right?
no subject
[ there's a little twist of wry — maybe not humor. not exactly levity, to his voice. but something in that direction, as if he's trying to get there. he knows ernesto hasn't forgotten, of course. he hasn't, and he won't. that's not a very forgettable thing, is it.
and the kenoma had been so clear. everything they'd done to him had been about the crime he'd committed. actions, consequences. he had committed it. he did deserve something for that. not being taken to achamoth, but — that isn't what happened in the end anyway.
so, no, he didn't just exist. he didn't just believe something they don't. that was inevitably part of it, but eleanor wasn't hurt for that. but people have been, will be hurt for his existence. ernesto is one of them, and he knows that for sure now. not the broken arm, or not only that. but one day, he will die. and he knows in a real way now that that is going to do damage. and even before that...
even before that, the war is still going on. ]
no subject
Men like his dad though? There's a much heavier weight of human life weighing on those broad shoulders, and he wonders...
Well, depending how long this war with the Regent and their soldiers drags on for, there's a depressing reality that Ernesto might get to figure that out for himself first hand.
And Rand might too, because at the end of the day the person he killed was-- ]
You mean the soldier that signed on for it?
[ And they're likely to meet many, many more of his ilk to come.
Ernesto's tone isn't entirely dismissive, and it's not exactly cold, but there is something in his voice that suggests that Rand's "gotcha" point isn't something he's willing to entertain. ]
The one that was ready to attack you and others for the things I just mentioned?
[ He tips his head back, studying the ceiling with an unreadable expression. Sympathy still exists for the man that died. Someone's death is never something that Ernesto can actually revel in, but sometimes there's not much you can do to help it... especially when you're not the one that started the war in the first place. ]
That's a pretty far cry from going after a defenseless civilian.
no subject
[ says rand al'thor of all fucking people on the planet. but that's his only interruption as ernesto makes his point. and he's right to, because there is a difference. the man had attacked rand for stepping between him and some mouthy bloodite civilians. and, in truth, if he'd known rand for an aion of the pleroma — there's no question that he would've attacked to kill. crushed rand's shard or taken it to the kenoma, and then he would've been in worse straits, wouldn't he, because a shard is harder to rescue than a person. he's had time enough to consider how akua and ernesto would've failed — suffered worse — if the kenoma hadn't chosen to leave him alive in that cell.
he's quiet a long, long moment, and maybe that's indication enough that he has to concede the point. if he had an argument, wouldn't he have said it as quickly as the rest? instead, he breathes out, watching as ernesto looks to the ceiling with a strange, troubled expression. and the fact that he isn't being watched makes this easier to admit: ]
It's not the first time this has happened.
[ defenseless civilians hurt for his sake. and worse. ]
no subject
But he does know some things about Rand. He knows that when Rand first showed up in Godsblood he was entirely turned around in the city, and was unfamiliar with places that big to begin with. He knows that Rand has been training hard to fight with a weapon, even if he hasn't observed most of his attempts, which means he can take a good guess at one thing...
That he might have had more in common with the man that Rand killed than Rand himself did.
He's still turning over in his head how to talk Rand out of guilt tripping himself over the enemies attacking civilians and trying to pin it on Rand, but he can at least address the one thing he knows more about. ]
A soldier in the middle of an active war?
[ He shakes his head just once. ]
He signed on knowing good and well he could die. Unless you're really young, dumb and convinced you're immortal, no one jumps into the fray without knowing there are risks.
[ At least no one who has seen the atrocities of war prior to joining on as a soldier. Things might have been peaceful for awhile in Horos before the current batch of Aions showed up, but it's not like this land had been at rest for that long. Besides, the Regent's soldiers seemed perfectly content inflicting violence and worse upon others, and Ernesto found even his sympathy took a dive when they started pointing weapons at innocents who had no way of fighting back.
Sort of like how all the Aions had been when they first arrived. ]
Some people don't have a choice, but I don't think that's true for the guy you clashed with.
[ He won't say "killed" it's the real word, but he doesn't want to put it out in the air right now. ]
He had plenty of choices. All of them do, and going after helpless people in order to make a guy with an actual conscience feel guilty is one of them, though it's not a very good choice. It's still one they made themselves.
[ He tilts his head now, looking at Rand out of the corner of his eye. ]
Not you.
no subject
no, this isn't life experience that rand has. how could he? he grew up in a small, sleepy village. wars were always some far distant thing, events concerning fools with fool things to fight over. romanticized, too, like in all the stories he read as a child. how exciting it'd be, to go to exotic places, to fight bad people, to (as usually went in such stories) impress some beautiful princess or other and end up happily ever after. life really is so little like the stories, isn't it.
he remembers something else, slow. his father had probably been a soldier. tam al'thor hadn't been on the slopes of dragonmount, bearing a sword with the mark of a blademaster, in the thick of battle during the aiel war, by coincidence. maybe he'd say something similar to what ernesto does now, or maybe he'd at least understand better. and rand remembers, too, the small piece of ernesto's life he saw in venera. people don't just wake up one day from peaceful lives and choose to commit actions like that. people with quiet lives don't dream nightmares like that.
his voice is so soft when he asks, ] Did you have a choice?
[ there's no demand in the question. ernesto doesn't have to answer that; and surely he knows by now that rand doesn't feel he's owed any explanations. ]
no subject
It was dirty, and hard, and miserable, and it changed you irrevocably in some pretty awful ways.
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes right now as he turns slowly to stare ahead of him, no longer wanting to make eye contact. This is the thing he hates doing the most; talking about himself always makes his insides squirm like a nightmarish pit of snakes, every part of him dying to break out and flee from the situation. Ernesto does a pretty admirable job of keeping still though, no matter how much hissing and buzzing is going on inside his head right now.
He doesn’t really owe Rand an explanation, no, but Rand is asking for one still. Rand has just gone through a horrendous set of ordeals himself, and he’s struggling with the morality of his own actions. The problem with seeking answers from Ernesto is that what Ernesto can provide from personal experience may not help as much as he wants it to, but sugar coating the truth would probably help less…
Some people in this world already know anyway…. what’s one more? If Rand wants to think of him differently after that, then… It’s fair, isn’t it? It’s not like Ernesto isn’t aware of the fact that he deserves to be judged for the actions he took.
Ernesto takes a deep breath before he starts speaking. ]
Not initially. I was too young to really have much say in what happened to me.
[ Now he looks back at Rand, in some ways his smile is more genuine now, but in more profound ways there’s a sadness to it as he lets real emotion slowly slip back into his expression. ]
But by the time I was doing some of the worst of it? Yeah… I was making the choice for myself.