Ernesto Salas (Tequila) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
goldendeceiver) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
aionlogs2022-06-12 12:23 am
goldendeceiver) wrote in aionlogs2022-06-12 12:23 am
Entry tags:
Closed Log
WHO: Ernesto and Rand
WHAT: Murder pact
WHERE: Godsblood
WHEN: Shortly after Ernesto comes back to Godsblood early in the month
WARNINGS: Murder pact...
[ Ernesto's time in Venera hadn't been particularly enlightening, but it did leave him with a sense of assurance that the city was getting back on its feet. No city can completely close up shop the way they did without taking a pretty heavy economic hit, but at the very least the citizens seemed to have fully regained their health, with no signs of the Innocence infection creeping back in.
Eventually it seemed nearly pointless for Ernesto to keep lurking about the city, and he returned home to Godsblood.
Home...
Kind of strange to already be thinking of the city this way, but it was the closest thing that Ernesto had to one in this world. He'd settled into Godsblood quickly, and despite frequent trips to Greentruth, Godsblood really does feel like his stomping grounds at this point. He's gotten to know a number of the locals, and done a decent enough job ingratiated himself to most of them. Certainly he's ingratiated enough that the ones that know him decently well have begun to very pointedly turning a blind eye to some of his more suspicious behavior, even as Ernesto starts to wiggle his fingers in a few different business pies.
It's not entirely safe here, but there is a feeling of comfort that comes with being in this city, and as he sits at an outdoor bench, taking in a nice quiet moment, he doesn't realize that the tall redhead that's approaching him is about to disrupt that feeling of comfort today.
When Ernesto spots Rand, he lifts up a hand in greeting, a smile stretching across his face. ]
Been a little bit.
[ Is all his say in lieu of a proper greeting. ]
WHAT: Murder pact
WHERE: Godsblood
WHEN: Shortly after Ernesto comes back to Godsblood early in the month
WARNINGS: Murder pact...
[ Ernesto's time in Venera hadn't been particularly enlightening, but it did leave him with a sense of assurance that the city was getting back on its feet. No city can completely close up shop the way they did without taking a pretty heavy economic hit, but at the very least the citizens seemed to have fully regained their health, with no signs of the Innocence infection creeping back in.
Eventually it seemed nearly pointless for Ernesto to keep lurking about the city, and he returned home to Godsblood.
Home...
Kind of strange to already be thinking of the city this way, but it was the closest thing that Ernesto had to one in this world. He'd settled into Godsblood quickly, and despite frequent trips to Greentruth, Godsblood really does feel like his stomping grounds at this point. He's gotten to know a number of the locals, and done a decent enough job ingratiated himself to most of them. Certainly he's ingratiated enough that the ones that know him decently well have begun to very pointedly turning a blind eye to some of his more suspicious behavior, even as Ernesto starts to wiggle his fingers in a few different business pies.
It's not entirely safe here, but there is a feeling of comfort that comes with being in this city, and as he sits at an outdoor bench, taking in a nice quiet moment, he doesn't realize that the tall redhead that's approaching him is about to disrupt that feeling of comfort today.
When Ernesto spots Rand, he lifts up a hand in greeting, a smile stretching across his face. ]
Been a little bit.
[ Is all his say in lieu of a proper greeting. ]
no subject
There's a sense in being open about the limited timeline that you're on. Allies need to be braced for what's to come, and need to know that there are some things you shouldn't be relied on for. Signs can be watched for if you know what to watch for too.
But Rand isn't warning Ernesto just so that he can make sure too much burden is put on Rand's shoulders now that the revelation that he can do magic is out there. This is still precautionary, but it's a much weightier one than Ernesto was expecting.
His eyes close and his ears pin back while he lets his entire body sink back against the wall with a heavy sigh.
There are some real downsides to being seen as reliable sometimes. ]
That's a hell of a request to make of a guy.
[ Rand hasn't technically made one yet, but like Rand himself thought, Ernesto is clever enough to understand something so glaringly obvious. ]
no subject
but it's also a rational contingency plan to make. the most rational contingency, in his mind. the truth is, the idea of having someone make sure he doesn't burn out too hard, too fast, while channeling doesn't occur to him. oh, it's a danger for more ways than the madness: there's always the possibility that rand might draw on too much of the Source than even the dragon reborn can safely handle, and burn himself to a crisp. but it's just not his immediate association with how to handle someone who channels saidin.
every child grew up on tales of the breaking of the world. rand, perrin, and mat had used to play on a hill that once faced the sea instead of a landlocked mountain range. the red ajah of the aes sedai is dedicated to finding channelers like rand and cutting them off from the One Power before another breaking can happen. and are they wrong to? even false dragons, men like logain, brought nothing but war and destruction in their wake. no one wants the dragon to be reborn: simply by existing, he's a harbinger of the last battle, the end of the world.
(sometimes he thinks, bleakly, and the world did end.)
there's no way to distill three thousand years of history and culture to explain to ernesto what an awful thing rand's existence, his very birth, is. but he can at least start to convey how much of a danger he poses to everyone around him. maybe at least one person in horos can see, at last, what he really is. ]
It doesn't have to be you, [ he says at last. how could he possibly ask that? ] But there will have to be someone.
no subject
Rand is just going to have to be disappointed, because all Ernesto is getting out of this is that Rand was played a very, very bad hand in life. Terminal illnesses are a thing that exist in Ernesto's world, and Rand's magic sounds more like a really tragic genetic disease to him than it does anything particularly apocalyptic. With enough time, and advances in medicine, sometimes those illnesses don't end up being so life threatening either.
Maybe it's the same with magic? They're on a new world completely, and there's a chance someone out there with a lot more magical know-how than Ernesto has might have an idea how to stop Rand's magic from literally burning him out the way it sounds like it will.
It's certainly worth asking about, but until they can find some other solution...
Maybe the nicest thing he can do is at least provide the boy with some reassurance. ]
I'm not saying I won't if push comes to shove.
[ He might not. If he can keep Rand a shard, then he can keep him contained while he tries to figure out another solution. ]
But I don't have much magic myself. I physically might not be able to.
[ He opens his eyes, cutting a sideways glance to Rand. ]
Have you told anyone else about this?
no subject
Akua knows I can channel.
[ and she knows that he's dragon reborn, ta'veren, born to fulfill a fate. which is already more than he'd want her to know, and more than he's admitted to ernesto. and abel knows — what, exactly? that someone had been willing to destroy a village to get at him? that someone had gone into his mind and twisted his dreams, to get at him? that's...
revealing, but not in this way. and that really is it, isn't it? he's kept from channeling when he can help it, particularly in front of people. he's been as reticent, in his own ways, about where he comes from as ernesto. ]
no subject
That you can channel, huh? Does Akua know what the implications of that are for you?
[ No, right?
Damn, Rand... way to lay something heavy at a guy's feet this way.
And the best Ernesto can do to help him right now is promise to kill him if the time for that comes? Shit... It would be nice if he knew more about the way magic worked in Rand's world. He could at least help guide him in using it in just the right amount that he wasn't taking an accelerated sprint towards madness, but without the full stop lack of use that would lead to a slow and painful death.
He'd already watched his own mom waste away from illness for a long and miserable year, and he's not eager for a repeat of that, no matter how new an acquaintance is in his life.
It just sucks that Rand's alternative to that isn't much better. ]
no subject
awful as it sounds, moiraine had been an easy target for his anger in those days on the road. she wasn't forthright with them. she'd dragged them from home. she was manipulating them. and it'd felt like she was pulling egwene away from them hardest of all, filling her head with dreams of becoming an aes sedai and forgetting all about two rivers. it had felt like she was pulling the strings on their lives, before he'd begun to glimpse the much bigger workings at play.
and that'd robbed him of a place to put his anger. besides himself, and that's been burrowing deep. if he hates any part of being in horos, well, he's here because he failed his world. every bad thing that's happened to him or his loved ones in recent months can be traced back to the fact of his birth. if he fails here, who can he blame? if he's unhappy, doesn't he deserve that?
so he snaps, ]
I didn't ask for this. Do you think I would've come to you like this if there was anything else I could do?
[ he can't claim some heroic courage in the face of death. he's bone-shakingly afraid of dying; it's just that there's something worse out there. the reason he'd channeled instead of just calling himself what he is comes from fear. if he were braver, he'd tell ernesto about the dragon reborn too instead of letting different people know bits and pieces about him and praying they never put two and two together. ]
Everyone on our side and theirs will probably know before the end, but it doesn't have to start that way.
no subject
The looming axe of fate is not looming over Ernesto's neck the way it is for Rand though, and while his safety and continued existence is definitely not guaranteed in a world like this one, in a war he's been thrust into against his will, it's not the same as knowing death is a certainty for you.
But he knows others who do know that's their coming fate, and even if he hasn't experienced it personally, he has a pretty good understanding of how that can fuck a person up.
So he doesn't react strongly to the outburst, even if his ears pin back at Rand suddenly lashing out at him. His brow furrows slightly, and the corners of his lips turn down in a small frown, but he doesn't move. Even when he talks his voice stays calm, even attempting something soothing and placating to keep Rand from getting angry enough to storm off in the middle of what is frankly turning out to be a pretty damn important conversation these two started up. ]
If you don't want me to mention this to anyone else, I won't. And if you don't wanna tell anyone else, I'm not gonna pressure you to do it.
no subject
so there's that, and there's the fact that ernesto doesn't rise to his outburst. and there's...the way his ears move, the placating tone he takes. swelling shame is enough to douse rand's anger.
he breathes out a long, shuddering sigh. leans forward as he scrubs both hands down his face, leaves it covered for a long moment with his elbows balanced on his thighs. what does he want? the truth is, they're having this conversation because he's started to realize he can't keep running.
you cannot
escape
your fate.
he'd really, really wanted to get through this conversation with some measure of moiraine's serenity. egwene's conviction. perrin's quiet strength. the world doesn't need a dragon like me, he'd heard once, and he wonders if that's true of him now and here. ]
We'll have to, [ he says finally, without looking up. ] What I want doesn't matter.
no subject
So it's probably better it was directed towards Ernesto, because it's also not hard for him to understand why Rand's situation would lead to an outburst either.
Ernesto watches Rand for a moment, quiet as he lets Rand get his barrings. There's not a lot he can over the other guy, other than the promise to take him out when things take a turn for the worse, and a promise based on cold rationality like that isn't a particularly comforting offer.
A hand falls on Rand's shoulder, warm, steady, and hopefully grounding enough that Rand doesn't lose himself too much in the what's to comes of the future. ]
It does a little bit.
[ His tone is just shy of cheerful now, not quite making it into upbeat territory, but relaxed enough that it's like they're having a regular conversation, instead of one about the magic Rand posses that will one day kill him. ]
You seem lucid enough to me at the moment, so there's no need to rush to make this all common knowledge.
no subject
the answer comes slow, but it comes: nynaeve. in tar valon. you've done well, to bring him here. to take care of him. we don't need the aes sedai; we're two rivers folk. there had been a very brief time, between the chaos of their escape from home, their long separation, and all the revelations that would unfurl on the path to the eye of the world, when things seemed a little stable. nynaeve was there to take care of things: two rivers's wisdom, miraculously alive, who had never, ever let them down. and mat was healed not long after that. egwene and perrin found their way to safety, to them. a small glimmer of time when it seemed like things would be alright.
his relationship with moiraine had sometimes been difficult, but he'd never been sorry she was here. moiraine is knowledgeable, is reliable, cares about things that matter. she'd protected him in his very first moments in horos. and now she's gone.
it's a thought that seems to pound inside his skull: he is alone. he is alone. in a strange world, a strange war. with a power that will inevitably erode at the foundations of who he is.
but no, there isn't any need to hurry. he won't go mad tomorrow. so he listens, and he considers that, and he nods slowly. he hasn't looked back up yet, but he's gathering himself. he will. he can't fall apart now.
he is alone, but for a minute ernesto makes him feel like he isn't. and that's more than he could've ever asked for. ]
no subject
Not that it takes any great skill to be able to tell what a mess of emotions Rand is right now, or that it takes much caring to not want to pick at something that has been clearly festering for awhile inside of this boy.
If the only true "remedy" he can offer for Rand is to one day kill him, then he can at least treat the symptoms for now by not letting Rand dwell on things. It's easy to get too deep in your own head; Ernesto would know that better than anyone, but it doesn't mean that another person can't pull you out.
He squeezes Rand's shoulder now, getting to his feet, but not letting go while Rand sits there. After a few short seconds he offers an exaggerated sigh, before finishing it off with a light-hearted chuckle. ]
Alright, if you're going to make a big ask of me, at least let me get a meal out of it. Come on, let's find something good. Your treat.
[ No, no wallowing in that sadness if Ernesto can gently prod him out of it and push him in to focusing on the immediate present instead of the overwhelming future. ]