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Aion Mods ([personal profile] aionmods) wrote in [community profile] aionlogs2022-07-16 03:16 pm

EVENT #5: SOVEREIGN CITIZENS (GODSBLOOD)

Sovereign Citizens
GODSBLOOD
At the height of the Sovereign's moon, Vaeka Lovenskol's execution is announced. Outside of the City Hall, a dignitary of Achamoth is flanked by an entourage of Kenoma, reading the words of Regent from an unfurled letter: Vaeka stands accused to conspiring against the Regent and abetting the fugitive menace known as the Pleroma. Though the details are not made public, rumors spread quickly, some far more wild than the actual truth. The full truth, after all, is something only the Regent's agents and the Pleroma themselves know, and even to them the manner of her exposure is unclear.

Though losing a proud daughter of an influential family, there seems to be little that the people of Godsblood can do besides accept it. After all, they are still a city of the Regent's empire, and for all the freedom they've enjoyed, there are limits. If she was truly aiding the Pleroma, the sworn enemies of the Regent - and in an organized manner, if the rumors are to be believed - can they truly object? Or would challenging the Regent's claim simply invite more death?

As with many things, the families of Godsblood are torn. Tensions are thick for the five days leading up to Vaeka's appointed execution by hanging, with everyone having an opinion and few wanting to go on record talking about it too loudly. As such, the people's frustrations come out in other ways. Bloodites are uncharacteristically unfriendly to strangers in this time, keeping to their own and treating everyone else with overt skepticism.

Those that have arrived as part of the Regent's official envoy, or seen guarding Vaeka, will receive a particularly icy reception. No longer are the Kenoma curious wanderers on personal business. Now, they are here as the hands of the Regent; few of the Godsblood citizens are foolish enough to challenge them outright, but they are ever an honest people.

Early on, the Kenoma and the rest of the Achamite contingent sent with them will be able to take over a jail in downtown Godsblood to hold Vaeka until her execution, clearing out all other Bloodite prisoners and employees in the meantime. This means they have a relatively secure position to guard their prisoner from, which is a good thing; after all, the Regent did outright invite the Pleroma to stop them, and Pleroma are nothing if not stubborn.

EXECUTION DAY
After five agonizing days of waiting and several high visible conflicts between the Pleroma and Kenoma, finally the hour of Vaeka's execution arrives. A gallows is set outside of City Hall, ready to welcome its newest victim, and a massive crowd has gathered in an spirit of anxious anticipation. Some worry that violence may break out in the streets, even without the Pleroma's agitation, but gradually the minutes tick by and the gallows remain empty.

First one minutes passes. Then five. Then fifteen. Slowly, it becomes clear to the people of Godsblood that Vaeka will not be arriving. Are the rumors true? Has she been saved? Have the Pleroma been successful, despite all odds?

As the hours pass and the crowds disperse, Vaeka Lovenskol is not officially reported as either living or dead. Fortunately, Godsblood is a place where information has a way of getting around, whether those in charge like it or not. Some are saying that she was seen being whisked away as if by powerful magic, following a bloody fight at the jail in which she was being held. Where did she go? Maybe her supposed connections to the forest people did her good, some surmise.

The days following Vaeka's failed execution carry a strange and uncertain energy. Where before there was tension and distrust, Godsblood now finds itself in a surreal reality where the Regent's word is apparently not absolute. Then again, do they really want a repeat performance?

QUESTIONS
What is the best way for Aions to travel to Godsblood?
For Pleroma, this is very easy, as they are likely to either already live there or be able to easy take Greentruth's portal. For Kenoma, they may come directly from Achamoth by boat as part of the Regent's envoy or arrive via Eustace's portal which is set up in a shed a fairly long jaunt outside of town. Once there has been some time to get established, Misa will be setting up another portal leading straight to the prison where Vaeka is being stored.

Are the Kenoma permitted by the Regent to kill other Godsblood citizens?
Though the Kenoma are authorized to kill any Bloodites that try to physically fight them, they are expected to keep things clean. The Regent prefers to only punish the guilty, and having the lines be clear will create less of a hassle in the future. Generally, Godsblood is not in a state where physical resistance is likely to happen unprovoked.

dragonmount: (πŸ”† broodingβ„’.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-07-20 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
[ it was an accident,

is halfway to his lips when it gets stuck in his throat. he didn't mean to kill someone. he hardly knows how it happened. the memory has such an unreal quality that it's almost like a dream; but no, he's dreamt things that felt more like they really happened than that. still: does it matter? he didn't mean to kill anyone. that doesn't make the guard any less dead. that doesn't make rand any less at fault. would he do it again?

the answer feels like it should be no. it is no. except, is it? the regent took their tense peace β€” relative peace β€” and smashed it to bits. if any one of these aions with the kenoma came at him, at the people he cares about, with the intention to kill...what would he do? what can he do? the fact that it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't.

granted. he's sitting in a cell, surrounded by kenoma, with half his body turned to stone. he can feel the One Power, he can even touch the Source, but he can't do much channeling. these people feel nothing of doing whatever it takes to make him stop. odds are, he won't ever be in a position to wonder what levels of force he's willing to take against any of them; and if he is, then his future will be much brighter than it looks right now. ]


Maybe.

[ doing what he thinks is right isn't a reframing of what he did that would've occurred to him. in a strange way, misa's almost handing him a lifeline. he doesn't love being compared to her, but ascribing a reasoning to what was otherwise an accident, or senseless violence, is...it doesn't help. but it doesn't hurt, either.

(lucky they're talking about this while she's eating. a part of him is intellectually aware that he hasn't eaten since β€” light, he doesn't remember. but it's hard to have an appetite when he remembers how a man falls when you run him through.) ]
lifespanned: (pic#15666237)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-07-20 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
[ That "maybe" feels more like a "definitely" given the fact he didn't outright deny it. She could respect that, a tentative willingness to die and kill for something - even if it only solidifies her thought that Rand is a threat that simply needs to be neutralized. For a few long moments, she eats in silence, staring at the wall instead of at him directly. She's not particularly jazzed about all the pain he's going through, if she's completely honest, necessary as she knows it is. If they were all regular humans, she'd find it harder to stomach... but they're all magically powered demigods, now. It has to take more to hold people down from now on.

After a while, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, looking over at him again with a newfound curiosity. ]


Remember what we talked about in Venera?

[ It's strange— it's not as if she thinks she can convince Rand to see things their way, to come to their side willingly. Still, if he's going to come to Achamoth regardless, or, in a worst case scenario, eventually make it back to the Pleroma, she'd like it if he could understand her ideals. If he's going to oppose her, then that's fine, but she doesn't want to be struck down without first being known. ]

There's someone who's more important than the world to me. If I can save that person... then this is nothing. [ She confesses, leaning her head back against the wall and closing her eyes, relaxing as much as she can within the confines of this tense room. It's as she'd described to him, after all; there were people in the Kenoma willing to throw the world into ruin for a chance to bring a person they love into the new world. Only fair that he knows she'd included herself within that number. And only fair that (in her eyes) this whole situation with him is not personal. ] I thought you might have someone like that, too, when we talked about it.

[ If he did, maybe they could have more common ground than she'd initially thought. ]
dragonmount: (πŸ”† 035.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-07-20 06:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[ in a weird way, he doesn't entirely begrudge her use of this power to keep him neutralized. he hates it, obviously. he hates the powerlessness as much as how awful it feels. but there's something to be said about being taken seriously. he hasn't acted recklessly out of any concern for reputation, of course, but it'd be galling to be seen as easy pickings.

he finally looks at her with that question.

yes, he remembers that conversation. he's thought about it a lot. going directly from the martyr shrine to godsblood, he's had few opportunities to talk to kenoma β€” both in general, and about why they made their choices. the handful of times he has have been impactful, illuminating. he'd wondered a little if misa had been talking about herself with that explanation even back then, but hadn't dwelled on it. she hadn't made it sound that way, just that it was a reasoning for joining the kenoma that she knew about.

but now she does answer that question, with what feels like honesty. he'd been suspicious in venera, and he might be if she'd said this under different circumstances. but right now he's tired and he's hurting and after some of the other interactions he's had this past day what misa offers feels almost like kindness. ]


They would never forgive me, [ is what he finally admits. he does have people he loves more than anything, more than sense. he was tempted by that offer when misa made it, before the regent confirmed their involvement in the loss of his world. ] The people who I love enough to do that for would never accept that kind of trade-off. They'd never want other people to suffer so they could live. If I found a way to justify destroying what exists to save them, I would be a monster to them.

[ he doesn't sound unsympathetic to misa, or even like he blames her. ]

I understand how you feel. But I can't do that.
lifespanned: (pic#11743277)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-07-21 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
[ How would Light feel that she was doing all this for him? Truthfully, the thought has never occurred to her until this very moment. He'd never been pleased whenever she took the innocent lives of others for his sake, nor can she remember any single time that he's approved of her going out on her own for him. Her eyes look up and away after he says all that, as if considering something deeply for herself.

No, she settles on, eventually. It doesn't matter what Light makes of it. She'll do what she thinks is best for him, and for his sake, the way she sees it should be done alone. She doesn't need the input of anyone else. And more importantly, there's no one, and no thing in the world more important than Light. ]


Oh, well, that's too bad...

[ Misa sighs, sounding truly and wholly disappointed, though more like she didn't win a claw game prize rather than she failed to agree on the morality of trashing the lives of innocents with a prisoner of war. Her eyes return to him, and she stretches out her legs idly, not taking offense to his answer in any visible way. ]

I was kinda hoping.... well, if you came to our side, we might be friends. Since you understand Misa's heart. [ But he's made his position on the matter quite clear, and she's not really the type to go trying to claw and beg others to come to the Kenoma. If he's sure in what he's saying, then she'll no longer feel guilt or hesitation for what comes to him— because, as she's just reaffirmed to herself, even the people she can be friendly with may need to be collateral damage in her quest to save the person she loves most. ] I guess you might be coming there whether you like it or not. To be honest, I don't really know what will happen to you.

[ Would that be a comfort to him? She wonders belatedly if the other Kenoma have been threatening him with anything, trying to make his potential dragging to Achamoth more intimidating to break his morale. But Misa just didn't think ahead that far at first, and thus blurted out her ignorance unrestrained. ]
dragonmount: (πŸ”† then please believe me.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-07-22 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[ what a strange thing for her to say.

if you came to our side, we might be friends. there is no version of reality where he would willingly join the kenoma; not long after misa leaves this cell, when she goes to get some sleep, he will try very hard to bait his next jailor into killing him instead of taking him back. there is no version of reality where misa would willingly join the pleroma; because he does understand her heart on some level, so he doesn't do her the disservice of trying. if the subjugation of a city and murder of an innocent woman doesn't sway her from her side, if doing this to him doesn't, then that speaks to her commitment. that's answer enough.

so the truth is: they will never be friends. but it's sort of nice, for a second, to think they could've been. in some other life, maybe.

he rests his head back against the wall, considering that. misa's ignorance is easier to swallow than amos's assertions that the regent would help him. at least there's some acknowledgment that there's nothing good for him there. ]


I was supposed to die before I got to Horos, [ is not a thing he's told anyone here before now. one heart for another, maybe. ] I don't know why I didn't.

[ he goes to shrug, but β€” well. ]
lifespanned: (pic#11709511)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-07-24 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
[ That evokes a look of genuine surprise from her— just what is he getting at? That he's not supposed to be in this mess at all? That come what may, he'd already looked death in the eye?

That's.... abruptly and surprisingly relatable, and the shock on her expression slowly melds into something more light— a skip and a half from empathy. Does she feel badly for him....? Not really, but she can understand on a deep, deep level what it means to brush with death, and to not understand why you're still living. There's no one else she's met that truly lives with the weight of that knowledge. ]


Wanna know something? Me too.

[ Rather impulsively, she decides to commiserate with him, acting truly on whim. Misa idly tucks strands of golden hair behind her pierced ears, sounding more serious than she has throughout this entire conversation, as though she's avoiding having her behavior being written off under her usual persona. Narrowly escaping her would-be end— something she's simply kept close to her chest ever since getting to Horos simply because it's been to her benefit to play at being a teenage idol who just couldn't "get" the life-and-death situations of the war they've been thrust in. To tell anyone about her experiences with the supernatural would be to reveal her hand, to begin unravelling all the secrets of lifespans and Death Notes that are etched into her personal history. But what does it matter, anymore? She's never going back to the world she came from - even if it's still there, she'll be working alongside the Regent to destroy it to remake it a new.

So it doesn't matter.

She doesn't need to say the specifics of how she knows, but there's a certainty in the way she speaks regardless, as though there's no question. It's perhaps because Rand is on the other side that she's able to tell him, thinking that at best, it'll give him some sense that he's not the only one on Horos living on strange time. At worst, it'll give him a better sense for her ease with accepting the Kenoma, a sense that there's something more to friendly, bubbly, ditzy Misa. ]


The way I see it, I have a new chance now. We're "immortals," or something close to it, right? I'm not going to think about when and where I should've died anymore. [ Mirroring him, she gives a shrug, offering him the strategy she's used to cope with that knowledge all this time: ] You shouldn't either.
dragonmount: (πŸ”† 045.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-07-24 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ what is he getting at? he couldn't answer if asked. but maybe that he knows what it is to go to his death. or maybe that the time he's had here in horos has already been more than he would've expected at one point, maybe more than he deserves anyway.

but her answer surprises him. he frowns faintly as he looks back at her, but...honestly, he does believe that. there's a ring of sincerity to her voice now, the seriousness with which she speaks about this when compared to her flippancy about the lives of untold billions. no, this isn't some frivolous thing to her.

we're the same that way, she'd suggested just earlier, but maybe they are in this way too. and her advice is β€” decent, actually. it's a good way to think about things. ]


Maybe I should've told you about this back in Venera.

[ is said with a hoarse sound that might be a mirthless laugh if his chest weren't petrified. her advice is good advice, and it'd be better advice to hear if he weren't due to be carted off to the regent soon, and if his own channeling weren't likely to kill him. ]
lifespanned: (pic#15666236)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-07-25 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ Would've, should've, could've— how would him knowing this have changed his actions in Godsblood? Would he have valued his life more preciously, avoided getting into fatal conflicts at all costs? Or would he take the path Misa travels, which is to throw caution to the wind? She's already living much longer than she was ever meant to - if she died fighting for a cause she believed in, then at least it would mean something. She'd have a sense of control over it. It's living recklessly like that which makes her feel like she's taking ownership over her life again, and it gives her the illusion that she could choose what she would die for. ]

So what you're saying is... I give good advice. [ She says, keeping the note of humor in her voice very faint, cognizant of the seriousness of the topic. Still, it's her natural instinct to try to lighten the mood whenever she can. ] Do you think you'd be here right now if you had?

[ It's pointless, since it won't change the outcome... but she wants to know just how he would've gone forward having heard this. With a genuine and innocent curiosity on her worn, but delicate features, she sits up a bit more, as though wanting to be a bit closer to hear his answer. ]
dragonmount: (πŸ”† castles in the sky.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-07-26 02:02 pm (UTC)(link)
You do.

[ they really do have so much in common.

he's already lived longer than he was supposed to; and maybe if he hadn't, his world would still be alive. and even then, there's a clock ticking. the poison on saidin means that every time he channels, he comes closer to his death β€” aion or no. his nature as a channeler born with the spark means that he can't help but reach for the Source. death is coming for him no matter what.

so, like misa, he isn't interested in living cautiously. what's the point of that? he's also looking for purpose in whatever time he has left, for his death to mean something. dying to try to save someone, save peoples' worlds, prevent untold suffering β€” that has worth.

and he gives misa's question a real amount of thought. just as she straightens, suffused with curiousity, his eyebrows pull together and he frowns as he considers that. what does he think would've been different if he'd heard this before? ]


I don't know, [ he finally says. ] I wouldn't have left the Pleroma. I wouldn't have stayed out of this fight. [ there is no point to him, if he isn't using his power against forces like the regent. ] So maybe I would be, anyway.
lifespanned: (pic#11712461)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-07-27 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ She's able to smile a little when he agrees with the fact that she gives good advice, taking that as a sign that he's no longer... well, completely rattling the bars of his cage (mostly figuratively) to make her go away. In the end, she'd much prefer things to be like this - because she doesn't mind, being able to talk with the enemy. At least not right now, where there's no immediate threat of either of them coming to blows.

His answer makes perfect, obvious sense to her, so she shrugs. ]


That was kind of a dumb question, huh? Never mind.

[ Misa says, breezy as anything, seeming much more relaxed than she has since she entered this room. It doesn't really matter, does it? He wouldn't have left behind the Pleroma, just as she has no intention of leaving the Kenoma. In fact, it's probably both their senses of being on limited time that strengthens the steel of their conviction - that's something she can respect about him. ]

I'd probably still be here, too. So I guess it's just fate that we're able to talk right now. We wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

[ If neither of them had the conviction they did for the Kenoma and the Pleroma, and if both of them hadn't cheated death the way they had, then they'd never have met, or been in this moment together right now. Misa prefers to look at things the serendipitous, whimsical way - romanticizing every aspect of her life in order to keep going, and to keep bearing the weight of her borrowed time. Saying that she's glad he didn't die when he was supposed to feels too personal, and too likely that it'd fall on deaf ears. But a sentiment not far from it is there— that she's glad they were able to cross paths at least once as less than enemies. ]
dragonmount: (πŸ”† 003.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-07-30 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
[ maybe it is a romanticized way of looking at things. but rand comes from a world where fate is a very literal, very active force. and especially in his life β€” there are so many nights he wakes up shaking, remembering no matter how fast or how far you run, you cannot escape your fate. misa saying this makes perfect to sense to him. he thinks, but doesn't say: the wheel weaves as the wheel wills.

because, like he told amos, whether or not his world is gone β€” and he believes it, terrible as the thought is β€” the wheel is eternal. there's no force that can destroy it, except maybe him (hadn't dana suggested that? hadn't the dark one?). anything else is unthinkable. ]


If it's fate, what do you think the reason is?

[ β€” a real, genuine question. a mirror to her earlier curiosity. because this is fate, of course; so why? ]
lifespanned: (pic#15725197)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-07-30 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Since he continues to be genuinely curious, and not outwardly abrasive, she refrains from dipping back into seriousness, instead settling back into a more subtle version of her brighter, more upbeat persona. That is her natural self, after all - when she's not being weighed down by serious things such as "moral dilemmas," and "taking a hostage situation seriously." She looks up briefly in thought, taking another crisp bite of her apple. ]

Maybe... we're destined to be friends after all? [ Well... probably not. Her light tone implies she's not 100% serious with that one. Closer to 30%, since she can still manage to be (a little) sensitive about his current predicament. ] Or, to at least know these things about each other. I don't know about you, but I've never met anyone else who was supposed to die, and then didn't. It's kinda hard to explain to anybody without sounding crazy...

[ Misa seems frivolous and downright delusional to most - but she really does believe in such things as love at first sight, and that things can be destined to happen. She's convinced herself to believe that evading death the way she had must have been for some bigger purpose, too, and even though she hasn't explained to him the finer details of her situation, the certainty with which he'd spoken of his own demise tells her much more than she really had to be in order to believe they're the same. It's perhaps better, that it doesn't need to be laid out. ]
dragonmount: (πŸ”† shadar logoth.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-08-01 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[ despite everything, her 70% of a joke earns a twitch of his mouth, a huffed out little breath, that might've been a smile and a laugh under different circumstances. there's no forgetting that he's restrained and in a cell, or her role in keeping him there, but. it's something. ]

I haven't either. [ sounding crazy is a definite problem, with talking to other people. and also, he mulls aloud, ] Or people find it [ mmm, ] sad. Like there's something wrong with you, for saying that.

[ hadn't amos (of all people) suggested something similar, not very long ago? ]
lifespanned: (pic#15666271)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-08-02 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ Her smile widens, turning to something warmer than the tentative, not-all-the-way-there one that had been there moments previous. It's the feeling of being understood — really understood — that is so rare to her, particularly ever since her entire life changed two years ago. There's really only been one or two other times in Horos that she's really felt another Aion have this level of likeness with herself, and, perhaps foolishly, it lifts her spirits. She's a Lover; all she longs for is to be understood and accepted and liked, and to give that affection out in return. She never expected herself and Rand to have something so secret and precious in common, but now she's glad they do - it's a point of likeness she never imagined to share with anyone else. ]

They don't really get it, I guess...? I don't find it sad, really. Because ever since then, it feels more like I have a say, now...

[ A say in what she could use her life for. It had broken her fear of dying, too - she'd already come close, what was the problem if she took risks here and there, did things that may ultimately make her life shorter in the long run? It's all extra time to her. She's sure Rand understands. ]

I mean, if I could die while doing something for someone I love instead, then I'd be happy. [ Misa talks with her mouth half full of apple, casually, carelessly. If she dies in the conflict between the Kenoma and Pleroma, then she doesn't really care— at least she would go out doing something she cared about, instead of dying randomly and alone on the street. ] That'd be way better than dying how I was supposed to, right? That's what I think, anyway. I don't see the big deal.
dragonmount: (πŸ”† debt.)

[personal profile] dragonmount 2022-08-02 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ it'd be nice, he thinks, to feel like he's had more of a say in his life.

but if anything, he's had less of one. he was a whole person, see, when he was rand al'thor from two rivers. and for a while, here in horos, he's still been pretending that he still is. except, of course, he isn't. it's the lying to himself and everyone else β€” it's partially that β€” that put him in this cell. supposing he'd tried, really tried, on mastering his channeling from the start. supposing he didn't waste time faking a normal life.

but if wishes had wings, sheep would fly.

still. misa goes on, and he feels a visceral clench somewhere inside his chest. not in pity β€” not even in horror at a pretty girl his age saying something like that. but because, ]


That's all I was trying to do.

[ tumbles out of his mouth before he can think to stop it. but is there a point to stopping it? he'd cared about the world, of course, when he went to the eye of the world. but that's such an abstract thing, for all that he loves his world. he'd gone to die alone so that egwene would live. perrin. nynaeve. mat. loial. his father, his home. he'd summoned the strength to defeat the dark one for the people he loves. that wouldn't have been such a bad way to die. it would've meant something.

and that'd been snatched from him. of course he holds onto the pleroma with such white-knuckled conviction. he really believes, of course, but what else is left for him? ]
lifespanned: (pic#11709503)

[personal profile] lifespanned 2022-08-03 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ And she believes him, too. She doesn't doubt for a second that he would've tried going out doing something for the person (or people?) he loves. It's the natural conclusion to the desire of wanting your life to mean something. Besides, he's a Martyr— she sees it clear as day with her heightened attunement. Pretty Martyr-ish behavior. ]

And that's all I'm trying to do.

[ Imprisoning him here, helping with Vaeka's execution - it's all for Light's sake, for the chance to save him, and for the chance to bring forth the kind, fair, just world he'd envisioned so clearly. Misa doesn't feel a need to say anything more on the topic, content with the understanding between them, and feeling rather like she's coming out of this with less animosity aimed at her than before. And, perhaps... vice versa, too. ]

Listen, Rand, it's been fun, but... I should get back. [ She moves to stand up, brushing off the fabric of her pants. It's a little awkward, leaving him here like this, she'll admit. When will she see him again? Will he die, when he makes it back to Achamoth? Or worse, disappear for a bit, as Howl had? Inwardly, she stashes away her curiosities, and more importantly, tamps down the sprouts of feelings of not wanting to see harm directly come to him.

They're enemies, she knew that, and she knew that before she entered this room. ]


No one will come in here for a while, so... don't do anything dumb, okay?

[ Because it'll make it worse, is the implication. Strange and no doubt somewhat cruel as the situation is, she offers him those two considerations: 1) the knowledge that no one was likely to return to his cell, so long as her petrification was active, and 2) her genuine advice as how to not make things even more awful for himself. At least in her mind, they feel like considerations - whether he takes them as that or not depends on, of course, his current state of mind. ]